Usually he has deueces full and explains why he was sure you had the winner while stacking the chips

Confirmed, clueless.

Same MTT again. Still on my first table, over an hour played, she is moved in to fill an empty seat. She has a massive stack, says to another reg that the 'deck just kept hitting her' in the face. At this point, I'm short stacked (6BBs). Blinds are 300/600. I get A8o utg, bet half my stack (2000), she calls from the BB and a flop comes 639r. I go AI (2150 more), she calls, flips over K3o. River K gives her meaningless 2p.

There is some light banter that I should have shipped pf (I don't say anything, but I don't disagree, bad play on my part). She says she would have folded 'if I had'. Anyhow I rap the table and say nice hand as I get up to put my jacket on and leave when she needles me "you played it too aggressive". I, of course, say nothing to Ms. K3o.

50/50 table seats 7, 8 and 9 are open. A group of 18yo hipsters come over and 3 sit down. Seat 7 confidently asks whats the max buy in and hands his cash over to the dealer.

(preflop) Hipster is seat 7 is in the BB and action is on seat 8 who decides to check. A few laughs and seat 8 and 9 are quick to explain that they have no idea what they're doing. Seat 7 jumps to his own defense, 'hey speak for yourself lol'

Seat 8 limps, 9 limps seat 1 raises to 2.50 and folds to me in SB call with 55, seat 7 8 & 9 call.

Flop
275
Chk chk chk Seat 9 min bets seat 1 reraises, i call, fold fold seat 9 calls

Turn 2 i check raise seat 1 and he 4 bets and its a 3 way all in

River was a black

Show the boat, both players show flush.

Solid hipster in seat 7 leans over and says 'wow! i didnt even know a full house was a possibility there!'

Seat 9 doesnt want to play any longer and one of his hipster friends takes his seat.

15 mins later, still mortified about loosing his £40 buy in on the first poker hand hes ever played, receiving some comfort from seat 7 as he stands behind waching. 'if i was you in that positon, i would have known he had the fullhouse and fold'

This is actually really funny for some reason.

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the 'ol bluff call.

I made a successful bluff call the other day! Playing LHE against a LAG who would bet every river if checked to, but if he had nothing and was called, he'd muck immediately. So I'm heads up on the river with an 8 high missed straight draw and he bets. No need to risk a raise; I snap call and he mucks.

Most of us hold dear a very few principles we will never betray for anything or any amount of money.

Played with a crusty old fart who's such principles extended all the way down to bad beat payout structure.

Table talk was about the bad beat and crusty old fart says "It's not right the loser of the hand gets more than the winner. If I'm ever in that spot with the winning hand, I'll make the loser agree to split the jackpot money 50-50 or I'll muck my hand. It's the principle of the thing and that's more important than money." Dude was dead serious.

Hahah, I'd probably tell the old bastard "yea, sure", and then not give him a ****ing penny. (Unless they void it anyway because of his talk).

Which word didn't he understand, "bad" or "beat"?

Well maybe your right but there can be some devilish women who look clueless and innocent. That needling at the end could be a sign of that. GL for next time.

Another good one tonight while I was dealing $1/2 NLHE...

A player who raised pre to $12 and saw a very raggy flop with two other people leads out with a $75 bet into the <$40 pot. One old guy thinks about it for a while and calls it, leaving him about that much behind.

The two of them see the turn, another rag, and the raiser bets enough to put the old guy all-in, who snap calls.

River doesn't change anything - aggressive player had Kings and the old guy had a couple connectors that happened to make his inside straight on the turn.

As he was raking in the pot, players at the table noticed what he had and one player says, "Wow, you called a $75 bet on a gutshot."

The old player looked at him and said "Well, I haven't been able to hit any flops, so I figured I'd see if I could hit a turn."

That's witty.

A guy at my table last night passionately spoke about Doyle Brunson being the creator of Texas Hold Em.

Cross posting this from my PGC, I think it's appropriate here

Hero in this story is my med school friend who is a typical noob at poker who thinks he's a crusher. He raises preflop at a typical 2/5 NLHE with AQ and gets 1 caller from the blinds. Flop comes KK4r, villain checks/calls hero's cbet. Turn 6x, villain check/calls his double barrel. River 2x, villain checks, hero goes all in, villain snapcalls with KJ.

After the hand, my friend complains to me about how badly villain played it, saying, "Why in the world would you check with 3 kings. These guys are so bad at poker and I can't beat them because they keep doing things that make no sense- I mean, I can't think of a single reason you would ever check with 3 kings"

^Ah yes the common mistake of thinking your opponents will play the way you do.

When I was young I remember thinking "he wouldn't draw to an inside straight, because the book says not to", or "he wouldn't play those cards in that position, because the book says not to" or "he would raise if he was ahead, because the book said to". I was wrong.

Lol, awesome!

G"thinkharder",imoG

I've read every post in this thread and this is probably the first or second one that made me bust out laughing.

Had the inverse last night. Playing $1/2 live, AK (reds) in EP. Make it 10 UTG,3 callers including the button who's been laggy/bluffy. Flop comes out A84 mixed reds so I bet a bit over half pot, all but btn fold.

Turn is A giving me trips with top kicker, and button tanks a while then starts asking me, "If you have an ace why are you betting there?"

In retrospect I probably should have glanced at him nervously or something. He folded. He said he had an 8 and that my "jacks were good"

Playing 1-3 NLHE at Winstar in OK. I raise in EP with AhQh, get a few callers.

Flop is 369. Checks around. Turn Q. Old Man bets, I raise, he shoves for not much more, and I call. I turn over my cards, he turns over 3s6s. I bink the A on the river.
Afterwards, I tell him he played it very well and I got lucky. He tells me that he actually played it terribly -- if he would have bet big on the flop I would have folded, and he would have won the pot.
Because that's why you play 36 suited, I guess.

"I limp everything, AA, AK, KK so I know if someone raises they've got a good hand Preflop."

Dealt this the other day. Don't remember preflop/flop action very well but OTT board is Q424. A bets 20, B calls, C instantly makes it 120 (max raise). A and B both fold. C shows 42hh.

"I had to put in the max raise there. I don't want you guys catching up with a Q"

Yes, because when I think my opponent has 2 outs, my immediate thought is "Let's make them fold"

Micro-buy in tourney. Woman limps in for about a third of her stack. Folds to a shove and shows her hand. AK.

"I haven't hit with Ace-King all day."

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omg