It isn't tapping the tank as much as it is blowing a bit of table image. When you play well, anything that makes your opponents think you are an idiot is a good thing, especially in a wild loose game where you are usually betting for value.

Killer moment at 7 stud last night.

Guy to my left bets the river with open aces. A guy who proved to be the dumbest person I've ever played against, and given where I live and what I play is saying quite a bit, calls. Guy shows aces up. Cleetus shows a pair of sixes.

Random player: Why did you call when you couldn't beat what he was showing?

Cleetus: I want him to know he can't bluff me!


This was one of his more lucid moments. He'd also forget things like there was a seventh card,. and once proudly turned over a straight against a flush, with the double combo of stupid bluster where it had to be explained to him that (1) a straight does not beat a flush, and (2) he doesn't have a straight anyway. That took several minutes...

I play live tourneys and $1-2 cash almost daily and here this one from newbs more than anything else. I've stopped table coaching because it's usually annoying no matter who it comes from and it reduces my long term EV.
I laugh inside so hard when I hear comments like the ones above.
"I hate big slick.....JJ scares me."
I just want to say, "THEN DON'T GET ATTACHED TO THE HAND!!!"

Kris8400: [directed to entire table] "Shut up you bunch of idiots from Northern Europe. Don't you know the 7-2 statistically fills up more than any other hand? You all play so bad!"

Yeah when people say they hate big pairs I laugh on the inside. Also, when people say that when they have KK that an ace "always" flops. I always think to myself "isn't it worse when the flop comes 9-7-2 and the guy has a set?". This probably doesn't qualify as "absurd" poker thinking but something that is funny IMO.

Yes (of course), but only if they're capable of laying down KK with an ace on the board, which they probably aren't.
I agree that people complaining about getting big pairs is hilarious. I always wonder, if they don't like AA-KK-QQ, exactly what hand is it that they're waiting for?

Phil always has such useful opinions

Wrong jman.

After patiently folding rags for 2 hours I go check on my buddy...

Hes playing a 1/3 nlhe with average stacks around 200-300. Hes in the BB and the guy to his left straddles to 6. Everysingle person calls the straddle, when it gets to him I see he has AA. He concludes his best move is to min-raise to 9 total. Everyone calls of course.

Flop is like J-10-4, he bets small and a guy shoves with two pair-he goes broke.

He stood up and started mumbling something about donks. Just seeing him waste such a perfect scenario made me livid, so I asked him why just min raised there, he responds......"Bro, I was slowplaying"

I can't remember if I've told this story here or not. I'm playing with a guy in our local room at 1/2 NL. This guy is super friendly, super tight. He's a "social" player. He's retired. In a given 6 hour day of playing, he's probably only at the table 3 or 4 hours. He's probably only +/- $100 75% of those days.

Anyway, we're talking, he starts commiserating with a guy who just had his aces cracked. The action in the hand went, early raise to $12, 2 calls, this guy raises to $30, guy behind goes all in for like $70, original raise & caller calls. This guy flats, goes broke on flop after dude spikes set (had like $250 in front, covered by one, if not both IIRC), why this dude didn't shove there, I'll never know. Anyway my tight friend says he should have FOLDED, because "Aces aren't a favorite against 3 players."

Now, I know, I shouldn't tap the tank. But I couldn't help but give him crap. I ask him surely your're not folding. He assures me he folded Aces preflop not once but TWICE in just those circumstances. I'm telling you, I talked to him for a while, he wasn't levelling me. He was dead serious.

I offered him the following deal: We'd take 2 aces out of the deck, I'd get those everytime, I'd deal him 8 hands, and he could play all 8. Not only that, I'd bet $10 against his $9 for each of the 8 hands. And we'd play as long as he wanted.

Needless to say, he didn't take me up on it.

1/2 live, folded to an older guy in mp who limps with qq. 3 callers plus blind and he loses to two pair. He proceeds to play the same way with jj, kk and aa and lose each time all within about 5 orbits. I finally say to him "its interesting the way you play your big pairs". He says, "when you have been playing as long as I have,you will see that tight aggressive play, like I play, always get's the money".

man tells me to play K6-ish hands, otherwise how am i going to hit a fullhouse.

maybe he is trying to mess with my head.

i would do that a year ago lol

Great Quote

Three funny stories from a casino here in Germany where poker is pretty new and therefore u get to see many bad players:

1) 2/4NL game. I have AQo and raise it pre flop. SB and BB call. Flop comes KKK. SB+BB check, I bet 1/2 pot and the 2 players call. Turn: K. They check. I bet 2/3 pot. Both call again. At this point I figure they both have an Ace. River: J. They both check again and I push. Both call. SB shows QQ, BB shows JT. I can't believe what I'm seeing and the dealer pushes all the chips to me. Suddenly both players start complaining why I win the pot because they have a pair *lol*. So the dealer explains that the 5 best cards count. They don't get it and ask for the manager. He explains to them again that they lost. Both of them get up and go crazy that there is cheating going on and accuse me of being a casino employee and so on. So they get kicked out of the casino where they call the police. Of course the cops had a lot to laugh about that night.

2) Same casino, different night. A player asks if someone can recommend a good book on poker. Gets the answer that 2+2 has some good books written by Sklansky. A 3rd player gets involved and says that Sklansky's books are on Limit Hold'em mainly. And the player who originally recommended Sklansky says: "Limit or No Limit...poker is poker...and 4 Aces is always the best hand!"

3) Recently the casino started offering Omaha H/L as well. Last weekend I am there to play NL Hold'em. After 1/2 hour the dealer switch and the new dealer asks: "Playing Hold'em or OHaMa today?"

wow, where is the casino? dortmund? wanna go there*g*

I heard someone say 5 10 is a great hand since you need a 5 or 10 for a straight so you have 2 chances.

If I hadn't seen this myself I might not have believed it, so I'll understand if all of you are skeptical, but here goes.

Playing 1-3 at my local B&M yesterday the following hand unfolds:

Five players limp and the Button, a young aggressive guy we'll call Mike, raises to $30.

Three players call, and they see a flop of 6710.

It's checked to the raiser (Mike), who goes all-in for $450. (first lol/omg moment)

The two EP players fold, and the hand is now heads-up. A middle aged guy we'll call Roger goes into the tank (he has ~$600). After a little while Mike starts talking to Roger, "Whatta ya got Roger? A flush draw? . . . . I got a hand here . . . . etc."

Eventually Roger turns over 89!!! Roger says, "I'm seriously considering laying this down to you . . . " At this point you can see the whole table counting on their fingers and toes "Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten." Roger then says, "I think you have 22 outs . . . " Amazingly no one says anything, and OPTAH doesn't get violated. After a little while Mike starts talking to Roger again. "Lot of money out there. Take your time. Whatever you want to do. What do you put me on?" He then cups his cards, carefully selects one, and shows the J. He continues to try and talk Roger out of calling, until eventually the inevitable happens.

Roger says,

Late entry to the thread, but definitely one of the most asinine things reported.

Well did Mike show his hand? Did he have 22 outs?

Only ever showed the J as far as I could tell. My guess is his other card was a Joker, which everyone knows are wild, so he prolly had more like 27.3 outs . . .

I have a couple hilarious ones. I have KT in BB. MP raises preflop in a tourney. I call. Heads up. Flop comes 8d8hTd. I check. Lady c-bets. I go all-in. She thinks after a while, and Calls with AdJc. Runner Runners a flush on me.

I ask her - If I had just gone all in without check-raising, would you have called? She says "Well yeah, I had the ace jack." lol

another - I am in BB with 75o. limped pot. Flop os 77x. I bet three streets and get called by a guy with QJ no pair. I didn't even want to ask.

I hope you smacked the hell out of him

Playing 0.10/0.20 cent NLHE with friends at the pub. A hand is played on the turn where the board reads Q952 or something with three spades out. Player A (good, knows the game pretty well) bets out and gives player B a tough decision.

Player B looks at A and starts staring him down. He thinks for at least 2 minutes after which he turns over his hand, showing QJ for a naked top pair, no flush draw. He stares at player A a while longer, decides that player A must be bluffing and then announces that he's all-in.

A little befuddled, player A calls him with a J high flush.

1. If you are picking your hand (2 aces), can I pick the cards in my 8 hands?

2. "and we'd play as long as he wanted". Do you mean "play" like bet each street and have the chance to fold?? Or do you mean just run the board?

Depending on your answers, I may be interested in taking you up on this game.

LOL! <3 this thread