I played at Foxwoods last weekend with a guy who 1) didn't know the first thing about poker and 2) didn't speak a word of English. I'm not sure exactly what his thinking was sitting down and playing because I don't speak Spanish, but I'm sure it was absurd.

Sometimes when I sit at a table, I observe players tendencies. Then I think to myself "I wonder what he was thinking in that last hand. Surely something absurd". Maybe I'll make something up, maybe I'll just go on to the next hand.

QUOTE "A few years ago at the Bike playing 200nl while quite drunk ... "... Of course my drunk ass donked off my $900 stack and the $600 cash worth of rebuys..."

Good story bro.

Table I was at today, on a A 3 4 5 6 board, all diamonds, there was a check, bet, check raise, then guy shoves over the check raiser and shows him the 7 diamonds intentionally because "I want to save you a lot of money here". Check raiser folds KJ diamonds.

What a bleeding idiot. What the hell is he doing playing poker if he doesn't want to make money?

Yeah, what was even funnier is later he complained about how bad his luck was lately and how he was losing "so much of his bankroll". Well sir, when you play rags and fold them or discourage calls when they finally hit, it's going to be awfully difficult to turn a profit.

A card comes out of the deck face up, and 9 out of 10 players tell the dealer to burn the card.

( The card is not a burn card, it is dead. A card face up in the deck is treated as a piece of paper, not a card. )

She did it right, just dealing the next card to the player, and everyone complained. Exasperated, She went on to agree with the 9 no nothings, and dealt a new hand.

I posted this so that next time, hopefully folks will realize that it is not a burn card.

Isn't that a card-room specific rule? It seems to vary from one establishment to another.

It's basically universal that you do it the way the dealer was trying to do it.

A box card is not treated as a burn (box card being faceup card)

two box cards = misdeal though

Why would you want anyone at the table (especially a lurking good player, who would be silently thanking you for all the info you're giving away for free) to know that you know what a float really is?

If i post ITT every time the regulars in my game get a perfectly standard rule confused and swear their interpretation is correct, 2+2 will have to shut down their site because of the server load.

Incidentally, the term is boxed card.

Intentionally misusing poker terminology is pretty much the fastest (and most fun) way to figure out who the local Mr. Smartguy Knowitall is.

I know the term, but I did not want to confuse anyone. thanks for adding that.

1/2 game last night.

There's a PF raise to like 7 and a 3bet to 25 by sim donk spewtard on a major heater sitting with 1300. He gets two calls.

Flop is 6x4c3c. Spewtard bets 50. 1 fold, last villain shoves for 250.

After about a minute. Spewtard folds, claiming an overpair, saying that he put villain on a pair and a flush draw. Loooool.

This same spewtard also supplied this quote, "I cashed out $2600 at XXXX's 1/2 game the other night. Oh, but, I was in for $600.. So...."

Right on. Reminds me of a thread years ago about mischievously calling 72 "the Doyle Brunson" or T2 "the Phil Ivey" just to get 9 other people rushing in to correct you.

Yeah, but someone said "box card".... oh, wait, i see starvingwriter82's point.

I cbet my AK on an A hi flop no flush or straights out there, get check raised all in (he was allin, it was 65 more to me I had him well covered).. Pretty easy straight forward call which I make, board runs out 3, Q, he flips AQ as I flip AK.. I say nice catch to which he replies "I knew you had AK, that's why I went all in".. I stare at him blankly and say "wait, you knew that once I called so quickly, or you knew that when you shoved all your chips in the middle needing to hit a three outer (at best) to win?" he claimed it was the latter, which insta tilted me for the rest of the night.

Edit: also, he was an older semi-foreign gentleman, so he actually said "I know you have this", his terribad grammar tilting me nearly as much

Reminds me of a situation I was in one night. It was near the beginning of my playing so I was super tight, but the deck was hitting me so hard I had a black eye so people probably thought I was a maniac. Anyways, a few hours into the night I raise with JJ and get a couple callers, flop is J x x with two diamonds. So I check, old guy bets small, and I make a huge overbet all-in. Old guy insta calls with a flush draw (no pair, etc.) and hits on the river. Proceeds to tell the table at least a dozen times, "see that's how you trap someone."

this would put me on mega tilt

*head exploding*

I would probably beat myself into a coma on the nearest wall.

The bad part is, you could trot out Gordon/Slansky/Doyle/hell Norman Chad to explain it to him, and he would STILL not get that it wasn't a trap it was a suck out. A minor one, but still a suck out.

Saw this today: a player was occasionally making little hash marks on a small piece of paper after playing a hand. Eventually someone asked, and she explained:

"Suited hole cards will make a flush by the river every 14-16 hands. So I'm tracking how often I'm dealt suited cards, and I track each suit separately. When it gets close to 14-16 hands I know a flush is due and I'll play the hand stronger!"

Just heard this fabulous one.

"I wanted to shove, but I didn't want you calling on a draw."

Raising war pre, they get it all in, one guy turns over queens, the other shows aces.
The guy who called all in with the queens goes "Oh,... I put you on kings."

Guy gets it all in preflop his A10 vs AA. Loses.

Next hand flop is A1010. "Where was that flop last hand dealer????"

Saw this one yesterday in a 1/2 game the other night thought I'd share.

Game has been super loose, and someone has raised $20 pre, and got six callers (I know). flop comes KdJdTs. Checked to 20 something kid, who leads out for about $100, older guy looks him up and down for a long time and starts chattering, "do you want a call? you have a flush draw? what you have?"

He offers to pay the guy $3 to show a card. Guy agrees and flips over the 9d. Older guy continues his chatter, and the young guy is mainly unresponsive, but says, "I'll tell you this, it doesn't matter what the next card is, all this money (he has about $250 behind) is getting in regardless."

Old guy continues chatter, and finally flips up Qs9s, giving him the straight. At worst he is tied. And, after about another minute FOLDS. "I knew the flush was coming, and I he had it". Everyone at the table goes nuts. but the best part of poker wisdom came from a guy Ed, who has a smile that looks exactly like Jack Nicholson's Joker, and is a total moran...

"Actually his fold was correct. I mean, after all, he was basically tied because that guy had a flush draw and he had a feeling."

I have renamed him: Special Ed.