Very, very, very loose 4/8 LHE game. Tons of players seeing flops, turns and rivers.

5 players see the river (1 bet and 4 callers on flop, all checked the turn) and the board reads 5 8 Q K 7

On older lady bets $8, and gets two! callers...yes, two. She, of course, has the nuts. A dunderhead rolls his 7 8 that he called with and says, "I knew my flush was no good, but when I made 2 pair I had to call"

I...I...*gurgle*

that might be a winner

First time at a live casino game, 5-10 limit I table KQ on board of JJ9JJ......and he mucks, while they slide me the pot he remarks he only had A high.

Playing a $1-$3 NL game in Vegas, a woman in the cutoff raised to $13 only to bet 3-bet by the button to $45. She shoves all-in and the button calls and tables KK. The woman tables KJ off-suit and delcares, "I knew it was a race!"

This was at TI, right? I am almost certain I was in the room during this hand.

LOL!!! Yes it was at TI.

I think I forgot to post this one. Not really bad reasoning, more like drunken reasoning.

Turn is like J973ss

Drunk fish bets the turn, villain shoves.

Drunk fish: "I have a flush draw. I don't know if I should call. Does anyone know the odds to draw to a flush?"

Everyone kinda stares at him.

Drunk fish: "Dealer, can you tell me what the odds to draw to a flush are? Should I call this bet?"

Dealer: "Sorry I can't tell you."

Some random other guy: "I think it's like 100-1 against" (maybe he's thinking of the odds of flopping a flush, hero is just like ???)

Drunk fish: "Really? I guess I fold then."

This was a while ago at 1-2-100.

Raise to 7 gets 1 caller. Younger kid OTB, with only about 55, makes it $27. Both players calls.

Flop comes Q9x with two clubs.

Checked to kid, who shove for $25ish. Original raiser calls, 3rd guy folds.

Turn Td, River 3x

Kid turns over AQ, other player shows KJcc for teh nutz.

Kid gets up all pissed and says 'Jeez, nice FOUR outer.

Four... 15.... close enough, brah

Did 4 table geniuses immediately point out the flaw in fish's thinking? I know in my game they would of, to show everyone how smart they are.

Sadly, most of the players just nodded like, "yeah, man, that's a tough spot"

What's funny is the same people that hate 11-handed also hate 6-handed. It's like 7-10 is perfection, but one more or one less is just intolerable.

I had one old nit in a tourney when we were 6-handed complain because the "blinds come around too often." I didn't bother pointing out to him that he would have the best hand that much more often, too.

Kinda repeating this but seemed worth it.

5/5 PLO game - on a 589A6 board with no flush, fish bets pot and then calls off $1700 total on river into a $450 pot with 99A6 vs 67TJ. Fish then says "I wasn't sure about my set, but how can I fold when I river 2 pair?"

This one just happened. I hear the standard , "I hate having AA I lose so much $ with it" I than pipe in with "well when it's your turn just go all in preflop and no matter what it's a winning play." pretty much blew that guys mind and I think hes gonna start doing it. Than guy two pipes in " Wat about the times he calls u with 89 suited and makes two pair?" I just respond with "oh ya you're right"

Just last night at Bally's in Las Vegas (1/2nl), guy sitting to my left is playing like he has no concept of the game at all. He's not drunk, so I couldn't figure out what the deal was. Someone else said he cleaned up the night before, just hitting hand after hand and walking away with ~$1500.

He's in a hand with the big stack and I can't even remember all the betting, but there was some action on each street...nothing huge. After the river, board is AKJT9, with no flush possible. Any Queen is the nuts. Numbnuts leads out and gets raised. He re-raises back to the big stack, who now goes all-in. NN insta-calls the all-in and everyone is expecting to see a chop.

Big stack turns over a Queen (naturally) and NN turns over 89o. He didn't vocalize his thought process so I have no idea what his logic was. Total pot was over around $400.

I shoved on a AAQQ4 board with AJ just last night. Guy tanked for like a minute, and I think to myself, "wow, he doesn't have an Ace, I'm going to win the whole pot." Then he calls. I shrug and turn over my hand. He looks at it, shakes his head, shows one card (a 4), and mucks.

It was a $650 pot.

Weird hand I played in a live MTT :

I'm utg level 2 50-100 and make it 300 with QQ. Guy behind me accidentally raises to 500 +3, and +4 flat and the button flats. I raise to 2575 and only +4 calls. Flop comes 2 3 9 and I lead out for 2850 and he tank folds claiming he had QQ and says I had AA.

Yet another awesome one from 1/3 last night...

5/6 way flop, I've got 65s. Flop comes 568. Some guy leads for 20, I make it 65, he snap ships for $350 or so.

I just lol to myself and fold. He shows 74 and says "I knew he had two pair, so I had to shove so he wouldn't hit his SIX outer". It took his friend a good minute or two to help him realize it would have been a four outer.

I ended up busted him when we get 4-handed when he calls a $10 raise with only about 80 behind. I call in the BB with A7cc. Flop comes As7s2x. I check, PRF bets $25, donk calls, I make it 75. PFR folds, donk flats (leaving himself $7). Turn 7d. I bet enough to put him in. River is 10s.

I show my boat, he turns over Q2ss and says "Wow.. nice catch".

At a small card room when a friend of another player comes in and tells his buddy that he made a bunch of money off of scratch off tickets. He went on to explain that he had new strategy for scratching and was now killing it...

A strategy. For scratch off lottery tickets.

It's happened before. While these guys were obviously morons, I read an article in Wired last year at University about a guy who figured out they obviously aren't fully random.

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/01/ff_lottery/all/1

Like 35 years ago my brother cornered the market on Wendy's scratch cards in college--they'd give one of these out with each bag of food. He collected bunches of them from dorm residents and studied 'em, and figured out the ever so minor printing inconsistencies between the tickets. So we could hit the best prize on every scratch ticket every time. It was pretty straightforward--there were like 8 total types of tickets and each had a unique printing flaw, so you could at a glance determine which ticket you had and know what lay under each of the scratch boxes.

I've always wondered if the scratch lottery tickets were similarly stupid. Guess this Wired article kinda answers that.

Denny's had baseball themed scratch games with hologram baseball cards in the late '80s. I ate a lot of free Denny's for the length of that promotion because the correct pattern was 100% predictable from the printing.

Fish: "You should always bet the pot when you have a set, that's what they teach you in all the poker books." .....lol

I think the worst poker "thinking" recently unfortunately was my own lol. I was in a small tournament and had accumulated chips early but after a period of card-deadness I had dwindled to just about 15BB. So this one villain kept donk betting into the pre flop raiser and he was doing it pretty much every hand he played so before the hand started I said to myself, "well I'm not folding to one bet if I catch anything at all". Holding AT, the flop comes down KJ9 rainbow and like clockwork the guy donk bets... but for about 40% of my stack. I laugh at myself but call... and the turn comes Q. He bets, I shove, he calls and shows a set of queens. River is a blank and the poor guy's jaw hits the rail. Floor moves me to another table 1 hand later (balancing). GG.

At least I know when I play badly and get bailed out by the deck.

Q7s vs AQo, arguing who was ahead pre-flop. Q7s says AQo had 6 outs (5 actually to improve) and the suited Q7 had all those suited outs. Forget about being dominated. Jeez.