That's not absurd, that's awesome.

I can't stand it when someone at the table starts correcting someones play and telling them what they did wrong. We're here to take each others money and not help out other peoples play. Tilts the life outta me because its always some idiot who thinks that he knows what they're doing.

The blind are leading the blind, revealing how they think, and you have a problem with it?

I agree you should generally discourage any sort of strategy talk, but bad advice is a blessing.

Here is my favorite poker "thinking", it happened to a friend of mine in the mid stages of a tournament:

- Button limps for 800 with approximately 8-10 BB's remaining.
- Small blind completes.
- My friend pushes all in from the big blind (with A5) with 8 BB's remaining.
- Button snap calls and turns over 88.

My friend says: "You had 8's on the button? Why didn't you raise?"

Button's response: "Because I only had eights"

My friend: "Then why did you call the all in?"

Button's response: "Because I had eights."

I think this one is my new favorite.

One other quick gem from a live tournament. Our table was very aggressive with lots of raises and reraises. One woman was getting run over and probably hadn't played a pot in 2-3 hours. In the midst of her frustration she says:

"You guys are crazy. I can't even get a hand good enough to call a raise with, let alone raise with"

Lol.

the sad thing is, if you were to tell this story to the average mope @ the casino, i GUARANTEE you they'd greet you with a blank stare, and say "i don't get it."

This is so expert! LOL

You are 100% correct. I once told this story at a table, and more than one person looked at me and said "that makes sense to me". They were not joking.

Similar story at a live tourney. Guy sitting left to me has app 10 BB, 3rd to act, noone has entered the pot yet. His M is about 6-7 due to the antes.

He opens for 4 BB, everybody folds and he shows me ATs. I asked him, why he did not get all-in. He said, that would be too risky. I asked him if he would have folded to an all-in. He said, no, of course not, I would have only 6 BBs left. I said, well then it's obviously riskier not to go all-in, isn't it? He said, no you see, it worked with only risking 4 BBs.

obv the people giving strat (good or bad) tilts the hell out of me. these people aren't thinking in the first place, no need to start a fire in there

1/2 No Limit - $200 max buy in.

The guy to my left just sat down from the 2/5 table that had broken and has been going all in and calling huge bets with just ace-high and back door flush draws. He's obviously there for the "gamble" aspects.

Anyways, I have about $280 in play and straddle UTG.

A few people limp, one LAGGY guy raises to $15, 2 more people call the $15. I look down at AKo and shove. Everyone folds. I muck without showing.

Guy to my left with about $80-100 says, "I really wanted to call. I had QJs. I had a chance to beat you but I didn't have enough money on the table to make it worthwhile."

For cryin' out loud, why the hell do you people insist on talking like this at tables? NO STRATEGY. NO CRITICISM.

Do you think it's possible he meant he didn't have enough in the pot so far? Because that makes total sense.

I played with a guy who would go all-in preflop with any pair. His reasoning was that any pair vs any other pair was 50/50. Whoever hit their set would win.

typical loose 2-5 NL game in southern california.

stack sizes:

****** asian kid (RAK): 500ish
tight solid guy (TSG): 500ish
super loose gambling asian (SLGA): 400ish

RAK limps early position. it gets limped around, and 6 players see the flop.

flop is KQT, RAK bets 30, TSG calls, SLGA calls

turn is a 5

RAK bets 60, TSG raises to 150, SLGA shoves for 400

RAK flats the 400. RAK still has 100 behind. tight solid guy tanks, and flats the 400...he still has 100 behind as well.

river bricks

RAK shows KQ. SLGA shows J2. Tight solid guy shows J9, astounded that it is the best hand.

as the dealer ships the pot to the TSG, people at the table noticed that the RAK and TSG both had 100 behind, and did not go all in for the side pot. TSG says he was afraid of AJ... (wtf why would RAK check to you on the river if he had the nuts?)

the most ridiculous part was when RAK tries to justify his bad play by saying "boo hoo, i guess no one understands the 'bluff call.' i knew i had the SLGA beat, and that the TSG had a straight. that's why i flatted the SLGA's all in. flatting makes it look like i have the nuts. it was a bluff call!! i wanted to scare the TSG into folding the best hand!"

sorry if this was confusing...

but wtf?

that's not ridiculous at all, it makes sense to me

yeah, i guess that kid was just a genius. he's at a level way beyond me and that was why he put 340 out there so he can "bluff call" the turn.

i honestly doubt that. i'd played with that kid a few times and he was getting his money in bad a lot.

It makes sense to me as well, although it has 0 chance of working at a 1/2 game (or a 2/5 game for that matter, and probably at most 5/10 games as well). I think the guy is still an idiot for saying it here.

it might make sense if the kid knew exactly what the other guys were holding. i doubt he knew that the TSG flatted him on the flop and raised him on the turn with the second nuts (which he expects to fold to a "bluff call"), and the SLGA 3-bet shoved on a draw.

1/2 game with max buy in of $100.

Utg has been at the table for a while and is generally an idiot.

He open shoves PRE for about $100.

Folds around to him and he shows AA. Then states that he can't believe there were no callers because 'when someones got aces someone else usually has KK or QQ.'

If you really want to tilt him, smirk and say "someone did"

The greatest read of all time:
Excalibur Poker Room before the electronic tables-1-2NL 5am

Guy sporting Ultimate Bet hat and shirt sits joins the game and gets into a hand against the drunk sleepy guy who's in for 10 buy ins.

Fast forward to river:
Board: 10J8AK

Baby Helmuth goes all in, and insta-tables his AK. Sleepy McDrunk looks at the Baby Helmuth's cards sitting there, face up, back at his hole cards, at the board, back at his hole cards, then goes in the tank, clearly doing high level fold equity and reverse implied odds calculations, looks back at the AK laying face up on the table one more time...and calls. He turns up 89. Nice.

Just got into another arguement with a random Armenian at Commerce about IWTSTH rule. I bet half pot, guy puts all his chips in but his last 2 $1 chips and I shove all my chips in. He invokes the rule as soon as my chips move forward and I tell him not to be rude and he replies "you're rude to make dat man put his last two chips in. Why go all in when you can just call and let him keep the $2? I don't see de difference in wanting to see your hand being rude, and what you did as being rude"