When someone takes a break every 15-20 min and doesnt stay at the table, when someone wont stop talking during all ins for 400+ BB, when people dont pay attention and the dealer has to tell them when to act every hand, when the same player tanks for 5 minutes every decision, the guy who has to comment how bad you are when you get it all in with a draw and hit over his TPTK

The guy who thinks it's a "bad beat" if he goes all in preflop with QQ vs AK and the board runs Q34JT. And typically won't shut up about his totally standard coin flip for at least two hours.

There's always someone slow rolling a monster

In LA poker rooms it was standard for old asians to slow roll the nuts. It was the legit worst. They would demand you show your hand then slam the nuts down on the table.

And we welcome a newbie who is talking about regs jumping on newbies with this? Classic ... GL

I was thinking the same thing

That is literally all old asians everywhere

In my VERY limited experience @ Commerce--one session where I played 4/8 LHE, 4/8 O8, and 3/5 NLHE--I saw this happen only at 4/8 LHE. I didn't mind it at all. I just realized it was part of the game at that low limit and I joined in by slowrolling anyone who slowrolled. It was a lot of fun.

It might be even more fun to have SLOWROLL buttons like OVER buttons so that when two slowrollers are in the hand they know it's OK to slowroll the other person. And if those work well, we could expand to HOLLYWOOD buttons so that guys with sunglasses, hoodies, and backpacks know it's OK to hollywood, tank for 10 seconds preflop, etc., when they're down to only HOLLYWOOD buttons live in the hand.

I hate when someone busts out of a tournament and hangs around the table forever whining about busting. I was playing this tournament the other week and a woman busts with trips vs full house, pretty standard cooler. She stays seated in her seat for a good 10 minutes whining about the hand, berating the guy who busted her, and even ****ing called her friend on the phone to recount the whole hand while giving a mean glare to the guy who busted her. It was pathetic, especially being only a $140 tournament, and annoying that the floor didn't escort her out after a minute or two.

I love Mr. Strategy. Mr. Strategy always knows what to do on every street, so it doesn't bother him that they play better on every street next time they play against him (and everyone else). Mr. Strategy is right that everyone else is a douche for not playing better. That's what I love about Mr. Strategy.

That happened to me last year. State-licensed charity poker room. I knocked someone out of a tournament and he yelled at me for quite a while. I was an idiot, I was the worst player in the room (I got that one several times), no way should I have played the hand that way, etc. We all ignored him and kept playing. After about three minutes he left. I was definitely surprised that the dealer didn't call the floor.

Anything that slows down the game (that a player can control) is a peeve. Otherwise, do what you want.

This is a great metric, particularly for electronic device usage. As soon as someone slows down the game even one time, he/she should be warned by the floor. Second time should be no more use at the table for that person.

don't know if this has been mentioned, but dealers who create confusion by not making the pot right before the next street.

For example, not enough loose chips in the pot to make change for a players call, dealer just says 'I owe you t200' instead of stopping and making change from a player. I know they are trying to keep the action going, but it can get very confusing very fast.

Dealer did this in a tournament, where a player called the turn and was owed t100 from the pot. The river turned the hand into a chop, and the other player kept insisting they were cheated because the other player got back an extra t100.

Body odor. I would really like to know if there is a carve-out in any poker room rules anywhere that allows for removal of a player due to odor. My biggest fear (bigger than being WSOP ME bubble boy) is getting seated at a tournament with very deep stacks next to some unshowered monster cradling a room-temp tuna hoagie. Just today at home casino I had to breathe through a hand-mask of sanitizer to avoid changing seats and thus maintain position immediately to the left of a smelly fish.

When someone changes seats every 5 minutes.

What did the floor do when you talked to him/her about it?

The last time that happened to me, I talked to the floor about it and the floor discreetly told the player to leave.

Unpossible. I couldn't even guess the amount of floor person's time such a system would require. Otherwise, I'd love it.

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Had a first yesterday: A dealer sits down and he's chewing TWO toothpicks. The only good part was that the wrappers had been removed.

Twice in the past few months I have had a floor guy just completely disappear during the hand for hand part of a tournament, leaving the dealers/players to coordinate between themselves by looking at each other's tables. Unacceptable and awful.

And what about the players/dealers who can't seem to turn their attention away from the game on the tv?

I'd be fine with applying the same rules to them. A lot of people will disagree with me because (1) it'd be tough to enforce; and (2) many players place money above entertainment value when playing and therefore are willing to put up with delays if it means their opponents are paying less attention to poker.

But as a recreational player who actually enjoys poker, I'm there to play poker as opposed to watching the game or checking my phone. If poker players and cardroom staff were to do a better job collectively of making sure the games flow better, I think everyone would be happier in the long run.

Table Captains.

Bad breath. Sat next to a guy who sighed every 5 minutes and his breath legit smelled like soil + earthworms. Wanted to barf every time.

Escort.

I'm going to escort your chips outta here.

Works best if you're a woman.

I was worried that any negativity toward said fish might be the impetus for him to rack up and leave, so I kept my hand sanitizer game strong and waited for the right time to iso-raise. The time never came and my nose will never forgive me.

Lesson learned. The smelly guy leaving is a win far more valuable than money.