lol. nutcrackers. so cute.

When someone takes more than 20 seconds to make a pre flop raise.
Just generally anything to slow the game down.

I can top this one there is a young 21 year old skinny kid with blond hair who wears big headphones (bigger than his head) looking as serious as can be who loves to wait untill it's his turn to look at his pre-flop cards and he tanks every time even before folding. It even takes him extra time just to throw his cards away, like he is folding to a big bet or something.

This. Very annoying.

Let me guess, at a 1/2 game?

2/5 but he usually ends up running back to the 1/2 game

There's a guy who playes 2/5 at Best bet, older guy, looks to be in really good shape, always has his ADHD girlfriend swinging by the table. Plays slow, bets slow, folds slow, and colors his chips up at least 25 times/hr. It's absolutely painful to play at the table with him.

The chips are dirty anyway, what do you care? I go to the bathroom and wash my hands when I'm done with a session. As long as the guy isn't snotting all over the place, it's no different.

He was coughing and wheezing everywhere too, not very pleasant to sit next to.

I just thought it was odd he was concerned about touching someone's card protector but wasn't even thinking about the chips and cards.

Dealers who can't parcel out the pot correctly without difficulty in high-low games.

1) Bad beat stories of any kind, especially from dealers (this one was new to me)
2) Dealers commenting on the play of any player or board texture
3) Most players on football Sundays watching TV and paying attention to everything except the poker game. I've had dealers be guilty of this as well.
4) Players showing cards to their neighbors before they fold.

Not sure why, but I flip out (internally if its not someone I know) when people say "pocket twos." I'm not the only one either.

1. Stop wearing sunglasses, you look like an idiot. No...you look like an idiot. No...you look like an idiot.

2. Stop tanking 2mins for every decision...I make routine decisions anywhere from 5secs-30secs in hundred/thousands dollar pots.. 1minTOPS if it is a HUGE pot or a very strange line...you tanking with red55 on a AKQ all spade board for 1min, shaking your head, then folding...is wasting every ones time, stop doing it. No one feels sorry for you, or cares your hand got beat/bad flop. If Phil Ivey can make 50k decisions in 20secs, then you can make your $5 home game decision in the same amount of time.

3. Don't ever ever ever ever ever ever ask to see someones hand after they have lost a pot. Generally if you are asking to see the hand, you probably sucked out on them, so just rake in your chips and shut the **** up. That rule for you dummys, is to spot collusion, which is near impossible to prove anyways. Being nosy doesn't qualify you to see their hand, I don't care if it's a "technical rule" If you call their bet on the river, then yes you can wait for them to show or muck, that is different but generally in the spirit of the game and to keep the fish happy just show your hand if you think most likely it's best. If you suck out on me and then ask to see my hand, I'm probably going to drop kick you in your face or berate the **** out of you, or a combination of the two.

4. Stop folding your cards faceup/discussing what you had post flop when their is still action to go between other players because an Ace came and you have JJ. No one feels sorry for you, or cares. You would have played it bad had you flopped quads anyways. Show respect for your fellow players still involved with the hand and muck silently and if you must, talk about it after the hand is done...even though no one cares then either.

5. Stop berating others who give you a bad beat. Chances are, you give more than your fair share of bad beats to very good players, who don't say a word, they just muck their hand and let you think you are playing well...so when it happens to you, stfu and move on to the next one, or you can give each other playful ribbing back and forth etc. Most likely you played your hand poorly, and the player was priced in, implied odds, etc. And even if it wasn't, and the player made a horrific call...say nice hand man...because that's the same guy you are going to stack when he doesn't make a 7% hand next time...

6. Stop talking table strategy at the table. If you are a semi decent player, keep that **** to yourself. Why let people actually know that you are smarter than them/thinking. If you are all idiots then by all means continue to tell each other "it was suited" "I feel lucky" "It's my favorite hand" I even join in sometimes to make them think I think the same as they do, you should too..

7. Asking the dealer to see "both hands" same theory as #3, you don't have a right to see someones hand because you invested $20 and they ended up getting it in for $1k each, you should have put your money up to see the hand.

8. If you have a nut hand (nut flush, nut full house, quads, etc) and I go all in or bet the river and you wait for me to show my hand and I have a big hand as well (not bluffing) then you show your better nut hand, that is a slow roll. You will get berated, drop kicked in the face, or a combination of the two. Show your damn nut hand.

9. When it's time to show your hand on the river, you only show one card. If you are so embarrassed of the hand you played, start playing better or muck. Show both of your cards champ.

9 is not necessary in a cash game as if you are doing this with competent players and you both check behind on river and no one rushes to table hand, 1 card is discreet enough to show other player basically your hand as long as he doesn't slow roll you or vice versa. It's kind of a silent respect thing. IMO. If some idiot sees your one pair card and asks fr the other then tables nut 1 pair hand, then that's the same as a scummy slow-roll.

My buggest live poker pet peeve is having a nice fast and efficient dealer grtti replaced with slow ****head. Changes the dunamic so much it always tilts me.

2nd is 10 handed tbls.. Like 9 mofos ain't enough? GTFO

Tapping on the tank. Had a guy last week call the clock on a drunk spewing fish after he had racked up. The entire table was kissing the donks ass to get him to stay.

[QUOTE=VvsKing;36317309]

8. If you have a nut hand (nut flush, nut full house, quads, etc) and I go all in or bet the river and you wait for me to show my hand and I have a big hand as well (not bluffing) then you show your better nut hand, that is a slow roll. You will get berated, drop kicked in the face, or a combination of the two. Show your damn nut hand.

for sure this one...Actually anything that goes to showdown just ****ing flip your hands over already!

Also I hate Nitty players

players who do things to effect outcomes of hands by saying what they folded during the hand, folding out of turn during a multi way hand, etc

when bad players try to constantly justify there terrible mind sets, plays, bet sizing, strategies, etc

being card dead ! especially in live games obv!

When people complain about me angle shooting lol

when math/logic are not reality anymore and the degen/fish calls off huge money to hit gutshots, runner runner outs, over and over and over again...
and most of all the occasional loud ****ing idiot at the table!

1. When theres a group of players all playing a tourney together and there's always the one little mongaloid who gets up from his seat to buzz around the tables to all of his friends to see what's going on and relay all the hands he's seen, "johns just had queens and got called bu some donk with fives" please die.

2. When people complain about how I or anyone else plays a hand, the chips you purchase at the start of the game belong to you, you paid your own money for them. Example: "what are you thinking calling me in that situation?"
"I'll do what I want, my chips, my money, if you don't ke it go and play somewhere else"

I cant stand when people dont share the leg room at the table. The ones that pull their chair all the way in to where their stomach is touching the table. Very inconsiderate

Yea def a huge one!

I actually think that playing high volume cash and tourneys this last year has made me a VERY irritable person to the rest of the human race ...lol....so many people are just inconsidereate and ****ing ******ed it makes me sick sometimes

^ Along with that. Squaring the table: "Sir, could you please move to your left." Fat intercourse slides barely an inch.

^ People who put drink carts between chairs, taking up space that is already very limited instead of putting it behind them.

For me is young kids who buy in for min, then take long time folding, come on and fold this is not ESPN.

People who constantly think I want to have a meaningless conversation with them while I have my headphones on.

nothing is worse than when the sharks embarrass the fish and they leave. this happens seemingly everytime i go to the casino. One badbeat equals zero foresight by the shark and he goes crazy and the fish leaves. And dont bring this up to them because they are always right.