Old regs who hit on female dealers the whole time they're working their down, have you never seen a woman handle cards before you old creep?

There are little things that annoy me a bit (card funerals in particular), but the only thing that really is bothersome to me is when players are obnoxiously rude toward the dealer. I don't understand how someone can blame their misfortune on the only person at the table who isn't trying to take all their money. There's just no excuse for that kind of behavior.

This is irritating. And along the same lines, I can't stand the players who ask the dealers for a specific flop or greet a new dealer with some plea for him/her to deal a bad beat. Most dealers respond politely but it's got to get so old for them. And lastly, the request to wash the cards when a player is on a bad run.

Mirage, Las Vegas. You cannot selectively chop and they do try to aggressively enforce it. They got very in-your-face about enforcing this rule a while back. I asked why the renewed vociferous enforcement when it had been mostly ignored for a year or two, and was told it was when the cracked aces promo started and players started trying to selectively chop (and effectively collude to try to crack aces). So a new memo was circulated reminding everybody of the rule, and ordering the staff to strictly enforce it.

The trick, of course, is who's keeping track of who has chopped with whom previously? Dealers are only in the box for 30 minutes. So any given dealer will be completely unaware that two players chopped or didn't chop an hour ago when it comes up again.

As well, there are the varying table conditions. "Sure, I chopped earlier with Fred when we were 10-handed, now we're 5-handed and I don't chop in shorthanded games." I don't know how they handle this.

I have no idea how the written rule is worded. Maybe Chris would happily share the wording of the rule with us (or maybe not).

or you raise my big blind, that irritates me even more.

What's a card funeral?

When players who have already mucked their hand talk about what they were holding or what hand they would have made loud enough that the cards are basically exposed to anyone still in the hand who could hear it.

When the old nit is going to fold, everyone knows he's going to fold, but he holds onto the cards for a while. He sighs deeply and looks at them once more, he may even show the cards to his neighbor. In his head there's a eulogy going on: "Oh, they were such good cards when they were handed to me. They had such potential. I'll miss them dearly."

Finally, they get buried in the muck and life moves on. Yes, the card funeral.

Probably been said before...

But every time someone asks the dealer to "give the deck a wash". Especially when they play the next hand and comment how the wash helped... It's not even the deck that got washed!!!

I want to get out a sticky-note, write "fish" on it, and go stick it to their forehead. Then let them know I'm just making a note for future hands.

Ok so I don't actually want to do that, but I do make a mental note as soon as it happens.

people that smell like ****. its very inconsiderate to others.

my biggest pet peeve is when players check-out early (not counting the ones who need to run to the bathroom).

People who play a hand, disappear for 45 min, come back, play a hand, then say "lock it up" and leave for another hour.

I do this helps me with tilt because it makes hands more exciting when you see that ace or king and get a mini rush when you look at the second card. if you look at them at the same time its over and you are bored again.

Players that take 4 minutes to make a call every single time they are heads up. It's not television, you don't need to act so much.

I hate it when a player sits down and calls ppl on every rule there is in teh book. Acting like they are the dealer or the table enforcer, mostly when they are not even in the hand.

If you're not the dealer then stfu and mind your own business

I especially love card funerals when the villain has just been shown the nuts (with no possibility of a chop) and he sits there shaking his head and shuffling his cards, as if the board will suddenly change and his cards will come back to life if he just keeps sighing.

People that smell like BO
The clowns that play with hat down low, sunglasses on & ear buds in. You are not a porker pro, you are playing a cheap MTT in PA. Knock it off.

Friday night... Typical busy as intercourse caos and the phone rings...

...Poker room
-you got a game goin?
...ya, i have several.
-you got a list?
...ya, i always have a list. I have a few lists. They're called waiting lists.
-how many on it?
...how many on what?
-the list.
...Which one?
-for poker
...are you for real?
-huh?
...which "poker" list?
-what lists you got?
...1/2NL, 2/5NL, 1/2PLO.............
-um... how many on 1/2NL
...3.
-how many on 2/5?
...1.
-ok can you put me on the 1/2?
...couldn't you just have said "hi, can you put me on the 1/2NL list? my name is X. How many in front of me?" when i answered the phone 5 goddam minutes ago?

Its the same people every time and all they ever play is 1/2NL. why u gotta hold me up for 5 minutes just to put you on the list? You are on your way here anyway. Next time my response should just be "sorry, we are closed".

Gotta be the same guy as "who's it on? me? oh, i check."- just shoot me -"How much? Oh, who raised?"

We are closed!

Every dealer that comes off his table.....
-you got a list?
... ya, lots
-how many on it?
...on what?
-the list
...serious? which one?
-The EO list, put me on it before i assault a guy

perhaps customer service is not for you?

Right here you are already off the tracks. You are answering the question the guy is asking instead of giving him the information you KNOW he wants.

You made the guy play 20 Questions with you and he isn't very good at it. Congratulations, you win the 20 Questions game. Maybe now we can play the Customer Service game instead? Cut through all that silliness and just tell the guy everything he needs to know as soon as you're asked "got a game goin" 'cause you know where it's heading.

guys hitting on cocktail waitresses in a sappy, cheezy, gross way.

Note: Joking/crude one lines are okay.

I hate it when angle shooters and cheaters object to any player at the table calling for floor people to enforce the rules so that angle shooters and cheaters cannot get away with their scams.

Lighten up. It was for a laugh and if you think I answer their questions that way you're wrong. (well maybe once just to mess with them) I usually can recogize their voice right away and just say "Hey **, you want me to throw you on the 1/2 list? I got a few games."

Way too serious here.

Do a better job of making it clear you aren't serious.

I believe Suit was serious in making a point that callers will ask foolish questions (peeve) while using an exaggerated example (for a laugh).