Um, no?

Give these poor souls a break. At least they turned off the computer and got out of Mom's basement.

You presume to know a lot....

1) 99% of players chop "most" of the time... "I feel like a cheeseburger".. know what that means? If not I will explain it to you - it is when they have a SC or PP that can qualify for a BBJ. I for good reason do not have a problem with this - but it shoots down your 99% number.

I also observe several players chop when they have crap and refuse when they have a hand.. this is an angle shoot but I don't feel the least bit sorry for the victimized player because it could be avoided by not chopping ever.

About the rake... I have never played at a card room that takes $4 out of an $8 pot... the rake is proportional to a capped amount (typically $1 for every $10 up to $4 rake). You are not saving near as much as you think.

2) How long does it take for the SB to fold?? Trust me, heads up pots on the rare event it folds around to the blinds and SB plays, are not slowing down the game much at all.

Jackasses hollywooding facing a $10 pre-flop raise slow down the game.

3) Ok - learn to play heads up poker. Maybe you would be more comfortable at blackjack where the dealer shows you one of his cards?

*If you have a drop (like california rooms), where every pot is raked the same - then I see the reasoning behind chopping. Obviously I do not live in CA.

I don't mind chopping or not chopping. My only peeve about chopping is the selective chopper. People ask me if I chop I say, "Always or never, it's up to you."

I only ever had one guy tell me he never chopped, and I appreciated the heads up. No idea why someone would get mad at that information

I'm amazed we got 15 pages before hitting my #2 pet peeve. They are, in order:

4. When a dealer looks at me like I'm an ******* when I ask what the raise is. Sorry dick, I'm partially colorblind. And no, I can't look across the table and tell if it's 5 grey chips and 5 blacks, or 6 grey and 4 black, or what.
3. When the following happens (in order):
- Pre-flop betting is complete
- Flop is dealt
- Players bet
- Dealer deals the turn
- Dealer THEN brings the flop bet into the pot
It's completely irrational, but for some reason I get really annoyed when betting from the former street is left out before the next card is dealt.
2. The aforementioned guy relentlessly flirting with the woman at the table. Shut the **** up already.
1. Poker pros. Sorry, but almost all of them are complete ****ing dicks. I play cheap-o nightly tournaments because they're fun, cheap, and I get a decent bang for my buck. Every so often, a "pro" decides to slum it up with the rest of us and grace us with his presence. And more than once, I've heard them say "Now you can go home and tell your friends you beat a pro". Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh that could be the douchiest collection of words in the English language.

when the people next to me start to eat and then burp all night long.

LOL, this is page #3 for most of us. But if you like,you can set your preferences to one post per page, and this could be page #257 for you!

Right on. It is even a rule to always or never chop. My peeve is that the rule is practically never enforced (or even known).

This makes me LOL. You must like slow games. Thats a sign that you have a decent dealer

Funny thing about rules that don't exist, many of them are unknown and unenforced.

The rule's lack of enforcement will lead to this assumption. Perhaps the rule is not universal across all poker rooms and it is not absolute, but between the same two players within a session the rule to always or never chop blinds does indeed exist.

Therefore it is not a rule, but an agreement

I play more tournaments than cash, and yeah, the whole "OMG, I'm so card dead!" thing kills me. Dude, we're still at 50/100 on the blinds with 30k starting stacks.

Re: headphones, I get the argument people make for wanting to tune out slot noise or annoying players, but earbuds with one in/one out handles that without slowing down play.

Not quite. The rule is that the initial agreement to chop the blinds establishes that the blinds must always be chopped between these same two players throughout the session or vice versa. For instance, you cannot initially agree to chop blinds with your rags and later agree to see a flop with your 'jackpot eligible' hands.

Not one poker room in Vegas would enforce this. Chopping is between the players and has nothing to do with the casino.

talk to the dealers in Bellagio then about that

I don't care if they enforce it or not, find me one that is in writing.

People who fall asleep and have to be woken up every single freakin hand.

Extremely aggressive mental patients at LA Casinos.

Really smelly people at LA Casinos.

People who analyze every hand, even ones they aren't involved in.

Dealers who prompt you when it's your turn if you haven't insta-acted.

Dealers who tell you what you should have done.

The granny regs at MGM 1/2 NL tables.

Players who always feel the need to let everyone know that their folded 8-3 offsuit would've flopped a full house if only they had stayed in.

BBJ whores who give you the stink-eye every time you so much as raise preflop.

Players who always look at their hands one card at a time.

People who say "OMG YOU RAISE AGAIN?!"

This is only making me want to raise more.

People who curse out the dealer because they never hit the flop when they call preflop raises OOP with Q5o, then complain how unlucky they are and how much money they've lost today.

I mean, profit-wise those people are nice but I much prefer the sort of bad players who are enjoying themselves while losing money.

Another one, when I sit down at 1/2 on a weekend and everyone acts like Phil Ivey, never cracking a smile or having a decent time.

Players who think they're original when they try to tip a dealer a tournament chip.

Players (in a 3-way or more pot), who tank forever when you raise, finally fold, then when remaining players fold, say "Damnit! I would've called if I had known they were gonna fold!"