Hi all,

There is a reg who runs a semi-private bigger plo game in my room that harasses me a lot of the time we are playing the same game. We got off on the wrong foot over a year ago (I simply said he was too good and I didn't want to play with him lol, then he started trying to kill my action saying things like "you always have the nuts when you bet"), I extended an olive branch/truce and a handshake but then he kept up the disparaging remarks. He will say things like "that guy's a **** idiot" and has told me to stfu, invades my personal space when we are sitting next to each other, slowrolls (once he slowrolled me and I said I hated him and he was an ahole), intentionally steps on my foot under the table, says thing like "big hand alert" when I limp utg, "no one wants to play with you," etc. He's basically an jerk towards me and singles me out for harassment and is clearly not a fan and does not want me in any game he is in.

Nothing else seemed to work so I called the floor on him twice for the abusive language and trying to influence the action when I am in a hand and he'll get a warning, but after the first warning, last night he did it again, using abusive language. I really don't know what else to do at this point and it can be stressful to deal with him every time we're at the same table. He makes my poker experience very unpleasant and I don't deserve that treatment. It does not help that he runs a bigger game (to which I of course never get an invite) that he poaches action players from our player pool to play in. By pure coincidence (or not), he cannot seem to beat me in a hand. To give you an idea of the type of guy he is, he carries a leather Ferragamo man clutch to keep his chips in.

I'm just looking for some advice on how to deal with this dude. Any similar situations? I've tied ignoring him, getting the floor involved, talking back, shaking hands. Nothing seems to work.

Thanks,
DT

Question: when you told him he was too good was it in private or not? If not understand you started this by doing something he saw as effecting his action.

Given his private game you know or should know he is putting money in the pockets of the floor so they will not help you. If you want to play hardball arrange a meeting with the lawyers for the casino about them allowing a game that discriminates based on sexual orientation(not letting you play). Even if it doesn't work directly the upper casino management will now want a cut/bigger cut than they were previously getting. Spread rumors about how the private game is rife with collusion. Advantage here is you are correct any game of this sort that at a public casino does not let everyone on the board is colluding by definition. Hit him where it hurts.

If you don't want to play hardball ignore it. The fix is in at the floor level so absent the willingness to go around them you lose.

I was annoyed I lost a hand against him that I would not have lost against most and let it slip at the table. That’s how it all started. It’s been pretty much nonstop from him ever since and he’s taking it overboard at this point.

I understand he is an ass. When he knows the game is rigged(you'll get banned for treating him as he treats you because he bribes the floor) your choices are change the game and play hardball or ignore it. He likes watching you play the sucker's game of complaining to the floor. He hopes you will be foolish enough to reply in kind.

I don’t know what he knows about me though ie whether he knows I’m gay or schizo or whatnot. So a discrimination claim could be futile and he could just say I don’t know those things about him and it’s not why he isn’t invited, it’s because I don’t like his play or whatever.

If you think facts act as a perfect defense against discrimination claims you need to study more case law. You'd at least successfully greenmail him/the casino that legally is running the game if you were in CA. Just having the casino needing to defend against the charge in the court of public opinion should convince them they aren't profiting enough from letting him control who plays the game.

Some advice to consider is that there will always be harassment in the world, especially in a competitive environment with big money going around. He likely sees you as a poker threat and so extending an olive branch just isn’t going to ever change the color of the sky and his behavior. Don’t take it personal and if you feel it personally reflect on what you can do to socially avoid it or if it gets rude talk to floor privately or whatever you might need to further grow around

Also consider over-familiarity and how it might apply here. Your mental health and diagnosis really isn’t something others should be shared with etc? Good luck in your journey

Start showing the others what a tool he is. Limp some crap utg and show it with 'nice read pro" when he makes his big hand comment. Refer to him as the 'house pro' every time he says something. You either have to put up with it or fight back in kind.
As far as stepping on your feet, time to wear steelcaps and 'accidentally' break a toe.

Feelings and situations like this always pass and new feelings people emerge. See what you can learn from the experience.

i'd just table change to get away from him, seems like the easiest solution.

Not always that many games going unless 1/3 and def not plo.

After a year, it is going to be more difficult to resolve it. Forget about getting in the private game. If there isn't another room within reasonable distance, you're going to need to make the best of it. If he keeps telling people you have the nuts and they believe it, you need to bluff more. Seat change for the personal space. For slow rolls, saying to the dealer, "let me know whenever he's ready," and start talking to your neighbor is pretty effective. Obviously don't react. I like the steel toe shoe idea. They are about the same price as good regular shoes. They also make sneaker versions.

Idk how you should handle it because I would never let another man talk **** about me for a year straight with no retaliation. Especially not stepping on my feet. It’s hard to teach someone how to deal with bullies.

What would you have done earlier in the year then? Starting a fight in the casino is just going to get him thrown out. This situation is more like dealing with a bully in his own house.

OP, what has the floor told you when you have complained? Have you only made individual floor calls for after specific things he did, or have you tried having a meeting with the poker manager about the overall situation?

Starting a fight anywhere is probably a bad decision.

I've heard of people going the nuclear route after arguments with other players in the game but if you go there, there's always the risk the same thing happens to you.

slow rolls me BOO HOO HOO who cares , you shouldn't
he slow rolled me is the dumbest thing I've heard over the years , some people are slow mentally and need time to verify they have the best hand, get over it.

steps on my toes, try the steel toe suggestion or seat change button or ask dealer to straighten the table every & I mean every time he steps on your toes while mentioning it, he will eventually get the hint.

the semi-privite game - forget it that ship sailed.

pulls fish from your game , again can we get the crying towel out BOO HOO HOO


makes comments about my play or me,

laugh look right at him and say
" THAT HAND WAS 2 YRS AGO, YOU CALLED ME WITH A STRAIGHT WHEN BOTH A FLUSH AND BOAT WERE POSSIBLE AND YOUR MAD AT ME BECAUSE YOU LOST ? GET OVER IT "
I have used this one myself with players and have had players sit down , see me at the table and say I'm not playing at his table and get up

its only unpleasent because you let him get under your skin

in my old age I have become less & and less torable of players next to me reaking of a dirty diaper (pot) and will say loudly if you can afford your drug habit why can't you by a can of lysol then ask for a table/seat change. Yes I know this is a leak in my mental game.

What is this?

I've had two individual floor calls for specific incidents at the table involving verbal abuse and influencing the action and he's gotten a warning. No separate behind the scenes meeting yet. Interestingly, last night he did not play his regular 5/5 plo running where I was after the floor call the night before, which was great. Sorta creepy though was that he was playing a game he never plays (mix) with a VIP there and he and this other dude who has called me a pussy before quit playing right as I racked up so I decided to play for another hour just in case they were up to no good.

One of the VIPs in the game said he told him to stfu the night before and leave me alone too, so I think others resented his comments as well as his image took a hit.

Come on bro, if you’re a grown man that hasn’t learned how to deal with bullies yet without getting into a physical altercation idk what to tell you. Make a scene. Tell him he needs to stop making comments while you’re in the hand. Do it over and over again. Anytime he does something, call him out. Tell him the only reason why people likes him is because he’s a whale that runs a private game. Call him a loser. When he curses at you laugh in his face.

Like this isn’t even a poker skill we’re talking about this is a life skill. Don’t be a pushover and learn how to assert yourself in messed up situations. If the casino refuses to do anything, make life annoying for them by constantly standing up for yourself without going over the line.

The same unpleasant things you can do to anyone who runs a cash based business.

Steal from them?? Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Good to hear it sounds like things could be improving. If they get worse again I would suggest scheduling a talk with the manager about the overall situation.

Not sure I understand what you meant about something being creepy and you playing an extra hour though. Were you afraid they were going to jump you when you left?

I mean yeah that was a possibility. They both wait to quit until I was racking up. Could just be a coincidence too.

Pretty sure things like that happen in sketchy underground games but I hope nobody goes that route. Same as with physical violence.

I know a player who reported the host and another player in a private game to the IRS. Apparently they even have a specific form you can fill out for suspected tax fraud activity.