Quote:
Originally Posted by VinnyVin311
Not to sound ungrateful, but none of these responses offer advice on how to deal with bullies. Some seemed to misunderstand the issue, which is understandable since this is the internet. Others seems to offer advice on how to avoid the bullying, ways to try and prevent the bullying, offered life advice unrelated to the bullying, denied the bullying is even happening, or blamed me for being the victim of the bullying. I'm seeking advice on how to deal with bullying when it occurs, and deal it with directly with the bully so that it stops. A response that addresses this specifically would be the most helpful to me. I hope it exists. I'm preemptively going all in that this comment is going to spark only negative backlash, providing more evidence of my presumed negative personality traits, but hopefully a one outer hits.
I'd reiterate what others said. I'm not on the spectrum but several people have suspected so as I'm naturally very introverted and pretty weird.
Eventually I developed really good social skills, at least in certain contexts. It can be done. One breakthrough moment for me was realizing you can just ask people questions and they are happy to talk about themselves. Jobs are a great subject. All kinds of people play poker: cops, fisherman, rich guys, athletes, salesmen, entrepreneurs... learn to take a genuine interest.
Spergy people can be off putting when they are totally self centered. Develop compassion and an interest in others, which also helps at poker.
One good piece of advice I heard on bullying/criticism is to stop being a b.
If you're very sensitive to criticism it's probably because you have a fear that is true, or you have low self esteem in general and think others are exposing the truth you don't want to face.
Like, if someone said you were a spy for Joseph Stalin or a lizard person you probably wouldn't be offended and just think they were crazy. So why do more plausible insults bother you?
Just embrace the fact that you're flawed. It's fine. If you're short, you're short. If you're fat, you're fat.
Either the flaw you have is real, and that's just a fact. Maybe it's something you can work on. Maybe it's just a fact of reality. Oh well. Why worry about some basic fact like being old, fat, big nosed, etc. Would it be less true if nobody said it?
Or the insult is false, so who really cares. It's like someone saying you are a Soviet spy.
If someone tries to use words to create a negative reaction in you you can defeat them by not having that reaction.
If someone says you're going to blow the dealer later say "only if he makes at least $10 in tips."
