Of course he's factually right. He's playing 50% or more of hands and compared to him you're certainly a nit.

Your response? Keep in mind - you'd like the spot of the table to be happy and stay of course

"I'd love to play a hand if I saw any card higher than a 9"

I joke along with them. "I'm waiting for aces - suited aces" or after folding pre in a limped pot and the flop comes up Jack high, I say "Damnit I knew I shouldn't have folded pocket Jacks". When I finally come in for a raise, if they say something, I will smile, point at them and say 'Hey you know I have a hand now".

It's never stopped people calling my raises with junk cards, but I do think being viewed as a ridiculous nit helps when I bluff. I also never show unless called and if they ask about my hand, I agree with whatever they guess, which is often incredibly strong.

tl;dr embrace your table image

"I guess you are right" and then let it go.

But if he won't quit, I will tell him exactly what I think of him and his play. If that "changes the mood of the table", so be it.

I would just let out a small chuckle and not address it any further.

"Round of straddles?"

If the whale is super buried/amazing for the game, then I would toss in a blind raise.

I'd make light of it and also reply, "Dammit, you caught me! I'm waiting for pocket Aces, buddy."

Then I'd preflop raise the next 2 buttons in a limped pot. To the surprised look I'd get from him each time, I would tell him, "Pockets Aces, buddy."

They stop believing you and call you when you do hopefully wake up with a hand.

I've done all three of these but which one I pick generally depends on what the perceived truth is.

In general I will respond in a way that reinforces peoples' (at the table, not just the one guy) opinions of me.

If people at the table think I'm tight and agree with the guy, I'll tend to respond more like the second or third. If people at the table think I'm loose and disagree with the guy, I'll tend towards the first. If people think I'm a good player (good tight or good loose), I'll tend towards whatever answer they think is good. If people think I'm a bad player (bad tight or bad loose), I'll tend towards whatever answer they think is bad.

Let it go.

I'm found of the aces story, personally.

What exactly would you tell that loosie goosie, Angus?

My two favorite lines:

'So what? If I raise you're going to call anyway bec you can't help yourself.'

'I AM tight. It makes me very popular at the bath-house.'

Stop being a nit and play more hands

Whoa. That 2nd one would be TMI, joking or not. Lol.

Second line is way better than the first IMO.

First line is stupid glass tapping.

Tilt much?

This is by far the worst reponse. I like the one where you ask the entire table for a round of straddles. It should satisfy the fish who is losing and may direct his remarks to someone else if they decline the straddles.

Fish like action. Winning players like fish. Changing the mood of the table when someone is donating is just stupid.

I used to say that myself but it turns out that it makes them even MORE eager to call.

"Just waiting for 68 suited"
Or
"Sorry, can't do much with J2 offsuit"

If nothing better comes to mind, a simple 'I play the hands I want to play' is fine

Even though you might be playing very tight-solid, you aren't advertising as much

I feel like this happens at LEAST once every 10 sessions, my answer is just a small chuckle and shrug. Can't let little things like this burn you up otherwise you're gonna have a bad time at a casino.

Actually this happened last session but, a little different, seat 7 kept announcing how much I fold even in the SB in a limped pot and commented "that takes discipline" sorta of became an ongoing joke for a couple hours and eventually it lead to him saying "I need to start asking myself, what would seat 5 do?" when he lost a big pot calling down someone else.

The thing is though, these things don't ruin your action believe me, if anything I think it makes people want to play with you more because they think they've got your play style down, when they really don't. Left that night a pretty big winner.

If this bothers you then you're probably too nitty.

I think humor is usually the best approach, and I use the idea of waiting for aces, but word it differently. I'll say something like " OK, I'm going to loosen up and quit folding Pocket kings preflop." It usually disarms the situation quickly without killing the mood at the table.

Say " What's a nit" then if they explain just say " Yeah that's me alright" and put on your best stupid face. Never argue or deny or try to defend. Just play along with them.

Yes ... glass tapping is not recommended in these spots.

"I'm just not getting the same cards that you are tonight."
"I'm in a prop bet to only show AA/KK tonight."
"Your're right, I'll play a hand with you soon."
"I'm just enjoying the show everyone else is putting on."
"It's my first day here."

Depending on what interaction I've already had with V I might just go with the half-chuckle eye-roll head-nod scenario ... GL