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Old 08-03-2018, 11:44 PM   #1
Howard Beale
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Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

After 25 years of public card room play (ever since poker was introduced in AC) I have had it w/ having to listen to hand stories. It is a bane, a curse, unwelcome, the same variation on a theme every time and horribly boring and, what is worse, the hand story teller thinks they are being entertaining. To you hand story tellers: HAND STORIES ARE BORING! Can you get it through your thick skull that you are boring people to tears? That you are torturing people who feel obligated to be polite and listen to the terrible beat you took that all of us have had to endure?

Today was the last time I'm ever going to listen to one. Some guy I haven't seen in forever asked me 'Did you play the tourney?' 'I don't play tourneys.' 'You wouldn't believe what someone did.........blah, blah, blah (and ofc it was standard).' Two days ago some guy who should know better sat down and w/i two seconds launched into 'I never tell hand stories but I saw something that I'd never seen before......blah, blah, blah.......' and not only have I seen that thing regularly I was seated to his direct left and had to bear it.

NO MORE! From now on I'm going to stick my fingers in my ears and yell a blah, blah, blah of my own.

Who's with me? If I can get a movement going we might make a difference! Obv there's no way to get away from hand stories if you're in the rest room during a tourney break but we CAN do something about the rest of them!

Join the movement! Take action! Make it clear that you won't endure another damn hand story for the rest of your life!

And, to the characters who think your interesting hand story is welcome despite this rant, guess what? Almost everyone wishes you'd pass out on the floor before you get started, take that from me as true as true can be and just STOP IT.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:06 AM   #2
Howard Beale
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Uh-oh. I think that I started an anti-hand story thread in a forum full of hand story tellers.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:23 AM   #3
Ol'Gil
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

He is mad as hell!!!! And he is not going to listen to your bad beat stories anymore!!!!
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:27 AM   #4
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

I like listening to hand stories...
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:28 AM   #5
WereBeer
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Agreed OP but it's the price you pay for not being bad at poker IMO.

EDIT

I think the protocol amongst regs is you pretend to listen to other regs and then they are obliged to pretend to listen to you. But I don't want to tell them hand histories because it's boring.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:28 AM   #6
branch0095
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Please go ahead and reply below if you feel the same way as OP. That way I can make a list, then if I'm ever sitting at the table with you I'll make up some hand stories and tell them to you just to tilt you.....
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Old 08-04-2018, 05:40 AM   #7
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Sorry Howard, but I like it when a player tells me how he plays a hand and his thought process behind it. It shows me how to beat them. Being bored is the price you pay for that information. "Yes, sir, that was terrible that you stacked off with an unimproved pair of aces because somebody hit two pair on the flop. Thank you for telling me your strategy is b/b/b with an overpair. I have no need to raise to get stacks in before the river because you'll pay off my river all in raise. You raise smaller pf because you want to suck people in with your monsters."

If you sit next to them and look interested, often they will show you the hands they are folding pf later because you seem like a nice guy.
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:35 AM   #8
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

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Originally Posted by venice10 View Post
Sorry Howard, but I like it when a player tells me how he plays a hand and his thought process behind it. It shows me how to beat them. Being bored is the price you pay for that information. "Yes, sir, that was terrible that you stacked off with an unimproved pair of aces because somebody hit two pair on the flop. Thank you for telling me your strategy is b/b/b with an overpair. I have no need to raise to get stacks in before the river because you'll pay off my river all in raise. You raise smaller pf because you want to suck people in with your monsters."

If you sit next to them and look interested, often they will show you the hands they are folding pf later because you seem like a nice guy.
HB plays poker with limited betting.
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:38 AM   #9
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Regarding the OP, I've been looking for a reason to be able to stick my fingers in my ears and have it be socially acceptable anyway, so I'm in.
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:02 AM   #10
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Completely agree. I'm over it too (and have been over it for at least a few years now)
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:51 AM   #11
Howard Beale
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

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Originally Posted by chillrob View Post
I like listening to hand stories...
See, folks, I've played v. chillrob a number of times. He's one of the good guys, imo, pleasant and sociable, good conversation and all of that. Who knew he had this dark secret?

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Originally Posted by venice10 View Post
Sorry Howard, but I like it when a player tells me how he plays a hand and his thought process behind it.
You will enjoy your future visit to Talking Stick immensely. Just sit in a game and say 'I LOVE hearing hand stories!' They will talk you to death.

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If you sit next to them and look interested, often they will show you the hands they are folding pf later because you seem like a nice guy.
That's a good point. I try to be friendly and benefit on occasion as per above. But I'd rather never have to listen to another hand story again.

And this might be the worst: Tourney break and multiple ppl will come to my table and tell hand stories to their friends. I wish there were a bug type spray to use on those pests.
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Old 08-04-2018, 07:23 PM   #12
DisRuptive1
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

What will poker players talk about if they can't reminisce about bad beats?
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Old 08-04-2018, 10:58 PM   #13
Bats
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Agree with OP 100%. I have to drive an hour to the nearest casino and USED to take turns driving with a friend. But I got so sick of hearing his bad beat stories that I now drive by myself. I chickened out and didn't tell him was because of his constant whining about bad beats and told him it gave me the option to leave whenever I wanted to.
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:37 PM   #14
Howard Beale
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Both the lack of replies and the general acceptance of being cornered and told a hand story is a big surprise to me but is an opportunity to one of you: Start a thread called 'The HAND STORY thread' and have a hit that lasts forever.

As for myself I'm going w/ the fingers in the ears or maybe 'pardon me but I have to go vomit.'
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:39 PM   #15
WereBeer
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard Beale View Post
And this might be the worst: Tourney break and multiple ppl will come to my table and tell hand stories to their friends. I wish there were a bug type spray to use on those pests.
Fuuaarkkk

This happened to me yesterday, the tourney people hanging around and telling war stories. Not at my table, but the guy was loud enough everyone had the benefit of hearing about how JJ lost to KQ and then 99 lost to AJ and then the guy rivered two pair aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg
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Old 08-05-2018, 12:46 AM   #16
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

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Originally Posted by Howard Beale View Post
Both the lack of replies and the general acceptance of being cornered and told a hand story is a big surprise to me but is an opportunity to one of you: Start a thread called 'The HAND STORY thread' and have a hit that lasts forever.

As for myself I'm going w/ the fingers in the ears or maybe 'pardon me but I have to go vomit.'
HB, I had my aces cracked once. I also have had kings cracked by aces multiple times. Let me know if you need to hear about it.
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Old 08-05-2018, 01:21 AM   #17
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

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What will poker players talk about if they can't reminisce about bad beats?
You're kidding right? There are 3,113,827,201 separate things they will find to complain about.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:05 PM   #18
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard Beale View Post
Both the lack of replies and the general acceptance of being cornered and told a hand story is a big surprise to me but is an opportunity to one of you: Start a thread called 'The HAND STORY thread' and have a hit that lasts forever.

As for myself I'm going w/ the fingers in the ears or maybe 'pardon me but I have to go vomit.'
Poker vloggers tell hand stories so I guess you’re not a big fan of them.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:47 PM   #19
Howard Beale
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

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Poker vloggers tell hand stories so I guess you’re not a big fan of them.
You know what you're getting when you watch/read them. It's not like taking a smoke break and having someone who is eager to tell you the story that you've heard over and over swoop in on you. It's an imposition that they think you want to hear. It's sickening. Next time it happens I might go w/: 'Hold on! Before you tell me your hand story I want you to listen to what's going on w/ my liver' and then tell a ten minute story that I've made up.
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Old 08-05-2018, 11:16 PM   #20
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Interrupt them with questions and ruin the flow of their story.

Gotta look up what Howard looks like, so I can try to tilt him with stupid hand stories if I play against him.
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Old 08-06-2018, 01:06 AM   #21
chillrob
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

If the swooping in on your smoke break causes you to smoke a little less, the guy is doing you a favor.
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Old 08-06-2018, 01:29 AM   #22
Howard Beale
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

Maybe I should tell him to quit the crack he smokes in the parking garage those times he's gone for a bit. He must be on crack since he's telling a story to the most bored looking person in the world and won't cut it short.
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Old 08-06-2018, 02:08 AM   #23
chillrob
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

I have to say I do like the idea of telling them a story about your liver.
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Old 08-06-2018, 04:24 AM   #24
WereBeer
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

I sometimes have the urge to interrupt the more inept player's stories and interrogate them in the manner of 2+2 reading a poor hand history 'What position? What was your read on him? Why don't you have a read by now? How much did you 3bet to? What makes you think that was a good play? Why are you calling the river after that action?' etc. etc.
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Old 08-06-2018, 11:12 AM   #25
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Re: Needed: Recruits for a war on hand story tellers! Let's end this scourge starting now!

I told a hand story once .. and it ended with this guy begging to get into 'that' game and then hitting for 6x his BI by night's end.

So sometimes listening to a BBS can propel you into a new fish pool. GL
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