1. Places that model themselves after Nevada (ie, the smart places) allow the dealers to play, on or off the clock. Places that think they know more about gambling than Nevada (ie, the dumb places) might put restrictions on such things, even without good reason to do so.
Speaking of dumb places, NH has maybe the dumbest policy of all, that I've ever heard of, governing this issue: dealers may only play in the room where they work on their days off. So if you're clocked out, done for the day, and changed into street clothes, sorry, you can't play, you worked today, this isn't your day off. Madonn'!
2. I've seen some dealers who are trained to point at every player as the action gets to them. I hate this. I don't mean, "I hate when they point at me." I mean, "I hate this," no matter who they're pointing to. It's not polite to point! We learn that when we're children. "You point with your eyes, not with your hands."
OK, you used the words "gesture at" instead of "point", but my sentiment is the same. I've seen dealers "gesture" to every single player every single time the action gets to them. I've seen players voice annoyance about this. And I've seen these dealers say defensively, "Sorry, that's how I was taught."
Here's an article that appeared in my hometown paper
about a charity poker room's opening. Click on the photo next to the article to enlarge. It's a photo of several employees sitting around the table playing poker. Since nobody's stack has more than six chips in it, I'll call this photo "hastily staged", but that's besides the point. The point is, the young lady in the box is pointing at a player who clearly knows it's on him--and I happen to know that "the young lady in the box" was in charge of dealer training at this place!
So, to answer your question, if you find your hands are CONSTANTLY "gesturing" in this manner, you should know that many, many people find this annoying/offensive...or at least me and the guy in your story, but I guess it's possible that we're the only two.