You guys that hate smart-mouthed dealers, are gonna hate this post:
Last night, I got off two funnies. The first one nobody laughed at, but I thought it was funny. Maybe the picture in my mind wasn't sufficiently conveyed by my choice of words. The second one cracked the table up. It's been a long time since I've seen a table laugh that loud.
1. The room I work in has over 30 tables. It's a very long rectangle, about three tables wide and 11 or 12 tables deep. The entrance/podium is at one end, and if you're assigned to table thirty-something, you've got a bit of a walk to get there.
I show up for work mid-afternoon, and I draw the furthest table away. There are only about 10 games going, so it's kind of odd that there would be one all the way back, but being in this business for a while, I could imagine a few reasons why it would be back there: maybe the room was full the night before, and this particular game ran all night and never broke; maybe there was tournament this morning that took up most of the tables, and this was the only available one to start a game, etc.
I get to this table, and see it's a $2-4 limit game. I'm immediately making "second-class citizens" and "back of the bus" jokes...in my head! I didn't say a word.
It's not long before someone asks me, "Why did they put this game way back here?" I had hoped that someone else would answer, but nobody did, they all seemed to be waiting for my opinion.
So I replied, "You ever see that movie Titanic?"
2. That was the first table of the shift. This one is from the last table, a $3-6 limit game.
A few limpers, then the CO, having posted behind the button and seeing his first hand, raises. A few callers. Flop comes something like 986r. BB bets out, one caller (who we'll call "CS" from now on, for "Calling Station"), CO raises again. BB 3-bets, CS keeps calling, CO 4-bets, BB and CS call. Three players will go to the river.
Turn is a J. BB bets out again, CS calls again, CO raises again, BB 3-bets again, CS calls again, CO just calls. A huge pot right now.
River a T, board shows 689JT. BB bets out again. CS doesn't call this time, he raises. CO folds (later says he had KK).
Now it gets strange: BB 3-bets. CS's shoulders slump.
It's the end of my shift, and I'm exhausted, so I guess my poker face fell off and I didn't realize it, because I'm puzzled. CS obviously has a straight, probably the 2nd-nut Q-high, and there's no way BB could have been doing all that raising with KQ, the only hand that beats him. Is CS scared of KQ here?
You know how people lift their cards up and wave around before they fold? You see those cards waving, and all you can think is, "OK, you're clearly folding, will you just let go of the cards so we can get on with the next hand?" It's like the logical part of their brain has decided to fold, but the emotional part of their brain is still dealing with it. Well, CS is making that move, except he's waving a Queen around! Only one hand can beat him, KQ, a hand that BB couldn't possibly have, and he's gonna fold???
CS finally calms himself. He doesn't fold. He doesn't do anything. He just sits there, like a statue.
"WTF is there to think about?", I'm thinking. "There's a million dollars out there, you pay off this last bet without a thought."
By now, way too much time is being taken, esp for such a no-brainer decision. It's time for me to nudge this player to choose an action.
"Maybe he's all-in," I thought, "and didn't mention it." I ask him if he's all-in. He moves his arms to show he has plenty of chips.
I guess my face was saying, "Then WTF are we waiting for?", and he finally called.
BB had QJ, chop it up.
While I'm stacking this huge pot, CS tells the table, "Wow! I almost folded!"
"I almost sh*t," I said under my breath. But when everybody burst out laughing incredulously, I realized that it may have been a little louder than "under my breath." One little curse word from the guy who is never supposed to curse, really sparked some laughter. Everybody howled, and the smiles lingered for the reminder of my down.
Then it got worse. Then he said the reason he called was because the dealer told him he should. Of course, I never said any such thing, but I guess my face was speaking volumes.
Now the razzing starts. "Oh, coaching from the box, eh?"
"I never said a word! Don't buy this 'Oh, the dealer told me to call' speech!"
"No man, it was that LOOK you gave me!"
Luckily, nobody took this seriously, probably because nobody in their right minds would fold in that spot. But the players all took great joy in razzing me for the final minutes of my shift. "You know, you shouldn't be coaching the players from the box during the hand. (Manager's name) would probably frown on that!"
(Heh, as I typed the word "Manager", I remembered that he reads 2+2, or at least the thread devoted to his room. I hope he doesn't read this thread.)
Last edited by youtalkfunny; 06-25-2011 at 06:04 PM.