I would buy a book of collected and organized ytf stories. Self-publish ebook. I'll help edit if you like.

Because this never happens to me I would probably say thats "$x" because I would not understand what I was being asked.

But if I did understand I have no problem letting a player at this point know that it was "posted" made up blinds. In fact the version of this I actually do see is the player points to the dead small blind and says "whats that?" .... and I tell them that its the players dead small blind.

It seems to me to be the equivalent of the player who ignores the 1001 times I announced that a player straddled .... and when the action gets to them asks me "was that a straddle or a raise" in which case I tell them (after letting out a huge sigh).

This. And I would make a face to indicate that I did not understand what was being asked.

When they ask me after I've announced it repeatedly, I usually say, "I'm sorry, I should have said something."

I get this a lot. Especially from the Sports Betting forum, back when I used to post there (I worked in the sports books before moving to poker dealer). I actually sat down and tried to crank out a book, and never got past Chapter One, because it was so terrible. I now just tell people to find my "The Well" thread from the 2+2 Sports Betting archives, because it has all the good stories in it.

After much prodding from the 2+2 Health and Fitness forum, I'm going to start work on my first such endeavor this fall. One of the posters there is in the e-book publishing business, or something, and thinks a book about a guy who lost ~200 lbs without surgery or gimmicks could draw an audience. I'm thinking I'll follow the Bill Simmons "Now I Can Die in Peace" model, and just copy/paste/collate my internet postings into a book.

Stealing this as of now.

I've been using "You know, I probably should have mentioned that." for quite a while .... but it never gets the response I want. Sure once in a while I get a knowing smirk from someone .... but mostly it just flys right by without notice.

It could be my delivery .... but I think a lot has to do with the fact that no one was paying attention anyway.

Yeah, I've taken to just saying "yes" or "correct" with an edge of over-earnestness when someone asks something IMMEDIATELY after I've said it. The key is to exhibit the patience of a saint. But I prefer when they set me up to repeat the exact same thing, because I get to say it with the exact same inflection.

"Five dollars to call."

"How much?"

"Five dollars to call."

I sat back and watched at two adults fought over a seat being locked up just to see if two grown men could solve such a complex social situation.

Went pretty much like you'd imagine.

Fist fight, neither got the seat?

I like to say that the majority of my job is spent trying to get adults to behave like adults. I am rarely successful.

Generally they do behave like adults....granted I don't expect much from adults....

How seriously do you take someone who always makes comments about the bets of other players ("tightest player here is betting!"), whispers to his buddy next to him ("fold this one"), etc? Do you try to curb it, or is it just the standard table talk of today's 1/2?

I might let the first one go as standard table talk but the second one (telling someone to fold) should be stopped.

My usual response is to say something like "Let the other players figure that out themselves," with a smile. Oddly enough this had a decent success rate.

The one that really peaves me is the person who folds after the raise is announced but before the amount is (in No Limit, obviously). They almost always think it's fine to turbo-muck there and a lot of times they don't understand what the problem is.

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I'm flooring right now and as I was doing a fill, a player made a racist Ferguson-themed joke. Despite being offended, I said nothing. The only thing that made it suck a little less was the uncomfortable silence at the table.

Has anyone ever said something so offensive at your table that you had to say something about it?

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Any discussion of race needs to be stopped immediately, regardless of context. I don't care if it's good-natured ribbing between life-long best friends, or earnest discussion of the problems facing our nation, or even the names of professional football teams--stop it as soon as possible.

Because poker players are idiots. And even when nobody involved in the discussion has any ill intent, these things NEVER end well. There's never a happy ending.

I was dealing an $8-16 limit game one night, all male players. Half were white, the other half were Asian. A few players were joking about this. The Asian players would cheer when another Asian won the pot, and act disappointed when a white guy won the pot. The white guys were laughing with them. Everyone was having fun with it, there was no ill will in the air at all.

And I asked them to stop. They couldn't understand why. I told them. They didn't believe me. They kept doing what they were doing.

Before my down was over, the floor needed to be called because one of the white guys got stuck and was steaming and was suddenly sore about Viet Nam and Pearl Harbor and we were on the verge of a fist fight...

I usually say something super blunt like "Well that was completely inappropriate!" nice and loud in front of the whole table and it almost always comes off perfect and nips the issue in the bud. I find it works better than trying to quietly get them to stop because if I'm whispering to someone after the hand it feels to them more like I'm pulling them aside and scolding them. If I get a retort along the lines of "What? Nothing I said was that bad!" I usually followup with "Well, all that stuff starts at the top of the hill and there's no where to go but down" or something like that.

I agree with every word of this. I put a stop to it whenever I observe it.

I once saw a man in a wheelchair and a woman with a walker come to blows over their places in line for a casino promotion giveaway.

Yeah yeah I know, NC. The infraction is worth it.

Years after I graduated and quit dealing, I went back on vacation with my family and stopped by after the family was settled in the hotel to see my old boss and a couple of dealers I worked with. At that time my son was around 3 years old. When the table was starting to get a bit worked up, I joked with my old coworker that my son was ready to be a poker player already, as he could count to five ($1-5 spread limit game at that time) and he regularly threw temper tantrums. Got him to chuckle in the box.

Non-industry person here...

Yes, once I was next to a guy who was telling another player across the table that he was betting like a ******, playing like a ******, etc. for several minutes over the course of a few hands. (Replaced word is the standard mean word for homosexual.)

The guy across the table was an older salty character and it didn't seem to be bothering him, but I turned to the player next to me and said, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that word." I was all ready to back up my request by making a parallel with the n-word (the player saying ****** was black); thankfully, to his credit he did look embarrassed and apologized about it.

The second case is always going to get me to respond loudly and harshly. In the case of comments like the earlier sort ..... I have grown to accept that even though to me they are blatantly inappropriate and you would have to be a complete moron to understand why you should not be making these comments at a poker table during a hand ...... I am just not going to be able to get most players to see that. So now I let most of it go unless i think I have people at the table who might actually respond if I correct them.


Personally I agree with you about this, yet when it comes to Asians its almost impossible for me to be able to convince anyone (including Asians) why this talk is offensive. It just seems so ingrained in our culture to make fun of Asians (especially the accents of non-native english speaking Asians) that they all tend to accept it as fair game at a poker table.

The most offensive thing I have heard at a poker table that was not an actual direct insult hurled at someone .... was a women arguing that Hitler was misunderstood. She wasn't trying to justify the murder of millions ... just suggesting that we should look beyond that.

As a box I encountered this situation the other day and was asked by a customer what I thought (he's a black reg and I'm white). I kept it short and sweet as to not upset a customer over this situation and listened to him vent about it and just nodded my head. (I live in STL btw)

Yeah, I might have to start taking that approach.

Problem is that it's this same kid doing all of it. When he's at the table by himself it's bad enough, but when his buddy is there, it's non-stop commentary, except when they're whispering to each other. The other day he said, "Aces again?" when a TAG raised... and the guy had aces.

He also does other stuff that bugs me, like almost completely covering his cards despite frequently being skipped. He speaks quietly when he does a one-chip all-in, despite having a ruling recently go against him. When I was working floor I tried to explain how a lot of communication is visual, and English words tend to trail off, etc etc, but he didn't get it.

I should learn to let it go. Except I've seen many fights erupt among close friends over THIS EXACT THING.

Sorry if this is obvious to everyone but me, but,

You mean a boxman at a dice table?

What situation?