This post doesn't belong in any thread, anywhere, so I'll cram it into this LC thread:
I played a tourney at my local card barn. After the break, I asked the TD how many players were in the field.
Of course, "right after the break" is the moment that late registration closes, and all the regulars start howling for the payouts to be calculated and posted, so this TD presumed I was asking about that. He explained to me that registration had just closed, and it will take a few minutes before he could post the payouts.
"Payouts??", I asked in my best Jim Mora voice. "Don't talk about payouts. Payouts?? Are you kiddin' me? Payouts? I just want to win a hand! Payouts???"
It got a huge laugh. I've used it a few times since, and it's a hit every time.
If you're not an NFL fan and don't get the joke:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40mhBE5MpbA