Must be something in the air recently. Been playing live poker fairly regularly for 10-15 years. First time ever last week I almost got into it with a player. Other guy is a scrawny 19-20 year old looking short kid who just got beat by a str-flush on a paired board (10's). I'm older (almost 50) but 6'3. I also have not been in a real fight in almost 30 years.

He played the hand like he had pocket 10's and the magic ten came on the river also completing the str-flush. Other guy tables his str-flush, the kid angrily tosses his cards in grousing about not believing it. He lost like $150 on the hand at 1/2, so not like a life changing event on the loss... but

If he had pocket 10's he wins $25,000 bad beat and I didn't recognize him so maybe he doesnt know so I ask if he had pocket 10's. Goes like this:

Kid: "No I didn't have 10's you ****ing moron piece of ****" --bet
Me: "Well **** you *******." --raise
Kid: "I'll ****ing kick your ass old man." -- re-raise
Me: Stands up. "Here I am, what are you going to do about it." --shove
Kid: "**** you. I'll choke you out old man" as he walks out the door. --fold

Lot's of conflicting opinions here and to much to read through all but all I have to say is, would you feel comfortable or safe in that poke room again with that lunatic in there too? Maybe you were a bit of a jerk yourself when you first sat at the table but did that justify someone splashing your chips let alone trying to kill you? Do you think, if you're nice and don't press charges, a jerk like that is going to all of a sudden see the error of his ways? In other words, press charges.

Actually they give them like candy. Really it's sometimes absurd.

Violation of Order of Protection
VOOP NY State

Automatic arrest

btw what state did this take place in?

I only read the first 5 pages

LOL, gotta love the deadly 'I'll finish you punk!' / ~walks away~ combo

I will say, after a few grumpy responses I decided to never to ask someone a question immediately after they have lost a hand, unless they make it obvious they are OK with the situation.

OMG, how did this ever get 11 pages? Unbelievable.

Dave, sounds as if everything you did was OK, even the F-you part. What a loser that guy is. (And I'm a middle-aged woman.) Glad he was banned. He deserves it.

My husband and I were verbally assaulted at Hialeah. Pretty darn scary considering the guy doing the assaulting (obviously been in jail and gang-type). He was texting friends to come kill us. Seriously. He was escorted out by security and police put a BOLO on him. We were escorted out by security at 6 a.m (about four hours after the assault) and never saw him. Have not been back

No.

1, I recognize my role in the event.
2, No harm was done to me, so no need to ruin the guy's life.
3, I would not want to waste my time trying to press charges that probably lead to nothing.

You'd think that ought to settle it but it won't.

And here's why.

Regarding 1, all "you" (OP) did was insult someone. He didn't physically attack anyone and he didn't even threaten anyone iirc.

Regarding 2 and 3, which is it? Are you going to ruin his life or is pressing charges going to lead to nothing?

The reason that pressing charges is a good idea is because if it's a one-off situation for this guy, then nothing will happen. But if he's a habitual offender, there's a good chance that he'll get something more than a slap on the wrist. And something more would be appropriate for a repeat offender.

IMO, OP absolutely escalated the situation.

First missed opportunity to exhibit social skills. Maybe ask the players on either side 'excuse me, could I get a bit more room, thanks" rather than ask the dealer, which subtly delivers the message that you don't really want to talk to the other people at the table.

[QUOTEI The player to my left then aggressively pushed my chips to the right and gruffly said something I could not understand. I said "F*ck you man"[/QUOTE]

Player to the left is definitely in the wrong, but OP misses a chance he to diffuse the situation. OP's reply is an escalation, pure and simple. he's wrong for pushing your chips, but how do you think this guy is going to respond? If you didn't want to fight, don't poke the bear. Say something conciliatory and let the dealer intervene at this point.

This just makes a bad situation worse.

I've been know to respond like OP did at times in my life, but to my mind, if I took OP's actions, after the situation was over, and looking back and realizing I contributed to the escalation, I'm saying no harm no foul, and not pressing charges.

Takes two to tango.

What? Seriously? What OP did was fine -- everything. Wow, you guys are nuts.

It's hilarious and sad that some of you see this as less chicken**** than pressing charges. What an extreme level of selfishness to base decisions and to measure consequences based solely on how you were personally affected.

The next person who sets him off might be smaller or less lucky than you. She might live and be trapped with him right now, and she might have avoided getting involved with him had someone created a record or left a warning. Because:

Nobody grabs just one throat. Nobody. How many throats have y'all violently grabbed? If your answer is between zero and two throats, then you are both rare and temporary.

There are definitely some considerations when deciding whether to pursue legal consequences, but if any part of your answer is "I walked away fine" then you lack basic empathy. Admitting it publicly is another level of wtf.

I guess you have never read about road rage cases where a driver cuts off another car, the guy who got cut off flips the aggessive driver off, and then ends up getting run off the road? That's why they tell you not to respond like that when a total stranger cuts you off. You really believe the OPs response of **** you and you heard me was a fine response?

I personally do not think OP's response of "**** you" was a "fine" response. He could have done a lot better. But hopefully you're not implying that a commonplace curse word justifies a physical assault.

That OP's behavior does not justify a violent response is in no way contradicted by the reality that OP also escalated the tone.

The point is that in any interaction with a stranger, a combative response to (perceived) anger is not the best course of action.

I don't think it justifies the physical assault. But I think when you add the "you" to the common curse word, as you call it, you are definitely personalizing the insult and escalating the situation and increasing the probability of a physical response. It does not make the throat grabber right by any means. But IMO, the OP responses to the original offense definitely contributed to the encounter turning violent, and is by no means fine or OK.

It's the ldea of not using provacative language aimed at total strangers. You have no way of knowing if the stranger next to you is some sort of psycho or hardened criminal who will automatically strike out at someone who says **** you to them. So it is in your own self interest not to do that and set the psycho off. It doesn't make the psycho right. But it can still be the wrong thing to do.

If the power in your house goes out and you are sitting there in the dark and smell a funny smell, you might not want to light a match to see where it is coming from just in case it's gas.

Yeah, there is a big area in between "OP is completely blameless" and "Villain was justified."

I agree with those who think it is pretty off-putting for the first words out of a brand new player's mouth are "dealer, square the table please." My initial read is this guy's not going to be fun to play with and is pretty self-important. In a social setting, something like "Hey guys, can I squeeze in and get some room" or even something self-deprecating like "Sorry to ruin the 8 handed fun guys, but can you slide down just a bit" sure goes a long way over "dealer, square the table please" being the literal first words of your mouth at a table.

Then when your second statement at the table is "f you", uh yeah. Chip pusher and throat grabber was much more out of line, but it is really, really rare to hear "f you" at a poker table. You really couldn't have reacted in a more escalatory manner other than physical violence.

Agreed.

In my 25+ years in poker rooms I can say from experience ASKING THE dealer is always! always better than asking players.
9 out of 10 times the offending rude player will not heed your request and having to re-ask and then ask the dealer is far more offensive than simply pointing out that the dealer do his/her job.
I've had players ask me to move over when clearly its the guy on the other side causing the issue, asking the dealer takes the finger pointing and confrontation out of it.
I wonder if the players saying they would ask directly are the same ones who move the dealer button on their own and cause dealer confusion slowing the game.

I'm a large guy. If a table isn't square and say I'm going into the 3 seat and the 2 and 4 are too close together, I will always say something like "hi guys, mind if I squeeze in here" or something like that before I would ever ask the dealer to square the table up. Usually that's all it takes. If after a couple of hands, if there is still not enough room, like if it is because the 5 seat is off center so the 4 seat has no room to move, then I will ask the dealer "are we squared up?" And he will look and then ask the 5 seat to scoot over. 99% of the time that solves the problem. I've never just walked up to a table and have the first thing out of my mouth be "dealer, would you square up the table". IMO that would be rude.

I would never move a button though; one time I saw a player do that and the dealer reached over and grabbed him by the throat. That's when I statrted sitting in the 3 seat--to give me some distance from dealers who are overprotective of their buttons.

Exactly what Riverine said on the square up. Even if I'm not going to ask the other players to move, I would still say something like "Hey, how's everyone doing tonight?" and then look at the dealer and say something like "Can we square up a bit?"

We didn't see a video and maybe OP summarized and said something like that in a friendly way, but having the literal first words out of your mouth at a new table being a terse "dealer, square the table please" isn't conducive to a fun, friendly, gambly image that is conducive to making the most money.

**** you is the universal demarcation line between a verbal dispute and a physical one. ****ed your momma or ****ed your wife are the only two sayings worse....

Flipping the bird is simply the visual version of go **** yourself.

Good post.

OP came off as an egotistic selfish player right from the very start. Obviously the guy was wrong for turning it into a physical altercation but the reason it got to that level was due to the actions of the OP.

Actully **** you is usually retorted as Oh yeah well **** you too ******* or something and then Dealer, Floor, Security or even other players break up the confrontation. Taking it to a physical attack is actually fairly rare at a casino table I would think. V needs to be permabanned, OP needs a mild reprimand for attitude and language. Pressing charges is totally at the descretion of the OP. I might do that , but likely I would rather not deal with the V again if I could avoid. Another incident or confrontation with V would change my mind.

I'm pretty sure that a victim (or witness) has to testify, otherwise in the absence of direct evidence- Case Dismissed!