So, I was playing live recently and was table changing to a new table. I was coming into a seat where there was not enough room, I set my chips down and asked the dealer "square the table please" as I sat down. The player to my left then aggressively pushed my chips to the right and gruffly said something I could not understand. I said "F*ck you man" (let me state that I am a calm player almost never expressing any kind of anger at the table. I would normally never say that, but after him pushing my chips it just came out.)

He then angrily says to me "what did you say"? I say "you heard me". He then lunged at me and grabs my neck like he's trying to do the Vulcan nerve pinch or something. Security was nearby and got him off me pretty quickly, I didn't strike him back or anything. Then as they've got him nearby he dodged away from them and lunged at me trying to grab my neck one handed again, he managed to grab it again briefly before they had him off me. He said he would see me and get me or something to that effect as they pulled him away.

Security takes him somewhere, and shortly comes back after viewing the video and asks me if I want to press charges (call the cops).

I was pretty shaken, but not particularly hurt. He never actually struck me, he did leave quite a mark where he grabbed my neck though.

Would you press charges?

I dunno, while I can see how you esculated the situation by your words, the fact he physically attacked you twice and then threatened you is overreacting on his end.

I'd probably ask for him to be banned from the room for awhile, if they're not willing to do that, I'd tell them you want to press charges unless he apologized and self banned for a month.

I'm probably naive, I've never had anything close to this happen to me, I've always tried to be decent to other players even when they aren't.

Why would you not want to press charges?

Bec he realizes that a large part of what happens after '**** you' is on him?

I've never had anything like it happen either in 30 years playing live.

I behave myself very well at the table. I'm polite, call people sir, never raise my voice or complain. When someone sucks out, I often say nice hand. Seriously, ask anybody

The F bomb just came out, as he invade my space pushing my rack of chips and knocking over some small stacks beside it. He said something(?) angrily as he pushed my chips. I think it was the angry vibes too that prompted me to say it.

This. Don't do it for yourself; do it for his next victim.

+1

By you pressing charges, the casino will have to permaban the guy. They may do it regardless, but this guarantees that the guy won't be back in the poker room.

Everyone is going to hate the person who presses charges here. The cops, the DA, the judge, the poker room, and the character who assaulted him and who might be the type to take it to the next level. The only person who likes it is the criminal defense lawyer. Plus, OP'd have to take the time to go to court which prob won't happen bec, if he has no record, he'll take a plea that doesn't send him to jail. Just let it go.

I personally would press charges because eff that guy. Whether or not it actually gets to court I don't know and don't care, but I'd like to make sure he at least gets interviewed by the cops.

This is how it works in a civilised society, someone attacks you in a situation where you don't want to retaliate, you are trading the option to fight them for them to face the legal consequences of assaulting you.

That's my take on it though, you do you OP.

EDIT

Also yeah it's easy to criticise OP for dropping the f-bomb on this guy, but I'm sure we've all snapped back at one time or another when people are rude and aggressive. Getting into a verbal fight is unwise but understandable as long as it's not something you make a habit of doing. Assaulting someone in a casino because your feelings are hurt is not OK and not something normal people do. This guy crossed a line and should face the consequences.

At any point, as you approached the table, did you ever consider--even for a moment--greeting your new table mates? Asking them to create some space for you? Do thoughts like that ever cross your mind?

"Here I come, everyone needs to revolve around me--and make it snappy! Let's go, chop chop! This space is MINE. Mine mine mine! Start hopping!"

Every hour I'm in a cardroom, I find myself hoping that these folks will treat each other decently--and of course, I'm constantly, CONSTANTLY, disappointed.

I'm sorry but "**** you man" doesn't justify someone else putting their hands on you. OP is not responsible for the other guy's actions.

The cops don't hate people for pressing charges like this. The DA doesn't hate it unless the victim is calling him every day bugging him about it. Chances are pretty good that the staff in the poker room is happy if charges get pressed (what is the likelihood this character is not a jerk all the time?).


The chance of OP having to go to court is tiny. It will more than likely be a simple matter of a plea to a low level offense with a fine. OP would not be needed unless the case was going to trial and honestly with the video evidence they could probably try the case without OP.

Maybe I am totally oblivious here, but would not the casino want to permaban some guy who physically attacks another customer? Unless ,of course he is "connected", or someones nephew or or something I guess. If the casino does ban him I would likely not push it any further to avoid the disruption. Just my opinion.

OP where was this? Major casino, Small, or an underground room??

I think it's fine to press charges but it's also fine to let it go. It all depends on what you want to do. You're the one who got assaulted so no one else gets to make that decision for you. I support either decision you make and I think it's morally wrong for other people to influence your decision with threats like "the DA is going to hate you if you report the crime." Good day to them. You have every right to report a crime that happened but you also have the right to let it slide if it's too much of a burden for you to deal with the reporting process.

Personally, I would press charges, but I completely understand and accept if you don't want to do that. I'm not going to guilt trip you into either decision when you're the victim here.

Unless you're really unlucky, it's not the first time he's attacked someone and it's probably not the last. Having a misdemeanor assault on his record may come into play later when it's important such as his next court date for an assault charge, a custody hearing, his attempt to become a police officer, etc. IMHO pressing charges is the right thing to do.

Whether you want that kind of trouble is up to you. I'm not sure if I would go through with it in the moment.

I never really understood why it's left up to the victim to press charges in this sort of thing.

Because for all we know, the victim could be friends/family with the attacker and might not want them getting into trouble. Like if I got into a fight with a close friend, I might not want to press charges because I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship.

Because a person cant be prosecuted without the victim testifying against him. The accused has a constitutional right to "confront their accuser" in court. The courts are already overloaded with cases without adding more cases where they already know the victim isnt going to cooperate and show up in court.

Only in cases of family violence (mostly husband/wife) will most jurisdictions prosecute without a cooperating victim and that's because so many wives are afraid to testify against the husband that the County takes over as the "Complainant". Even then they need a written statement and pictures from the victim or nothing can be done.

+1

The exchange jumped into hostility right away, and it took two people to escalate it that quickly.

In case it's not clear, the first salvo was fired by the OP when he asked the dealer to square the table. The Villain pushing OP's chips over was a gross overreaction.

If you're pissed off because you lost a bunch of money at a table, don't carry it over to the next table.

I probably wouldn`t, but he do deserve som sort of reaction. It`s not ok to behave like this. But if he doesnt get banned from the casino you can exploit his anger next time you see him there. Get him on tilt and stack him.

How is asking the dealer to square the table firing the first shot?

The eff-you man was warranted in this situation but they are also fighting words for many so not surprised that it escalated. I wouldn't press charges in this situation.

Really gross to see posters who I otherwise respect say it took two people to trigger a lunatic.

This is a common misconception. Victims do not press charges, only the DA can press charges.

In many cases, the lack of a cooperating victim, in cases that depend on testimony, are difficult to prosecute, but not impossible. Otherwise there would be very few people tried for murder. In this case, where there was, I assume, ample video evidence, the police could choose to arrest, and the DA could choose to press charges, without the victims cooperation. But they won't, because the crime is too minor, and it would be too much work and too little payoff if the victim is not cooperating.

Asking to square a table is considered an offensive request?!?!?!? I walk up to a table where they have been playing 8 handed for awhile, so they have all moved into the empty seats space, and I shouldn't ask the dealer to square the table? Sure, there are a dozen different acceptable ways to ask the table to make room, but surely asking the dealer to square the table has got to be one of them, right?

Strongly disagree with this. Asking the dealer to square the table is exactly how it should be done. Except that the dealer should do it automatically without needing to be asked.

The villain did all the escalating here, as told by the OP. He got physical with OP's chips, and then went psycho after OP said 3 words. While you certainly should realize that telling somebody to F*** off might result in a physical reaction, that doesn't mean that they are justified in any sense to do so. To me this sounds the same as telling a woman it's partially her fault she was raped because she was dressed provocatively, or because she flirted with the guy.

While OP should decide what's best for himself, if it were me, I'd ask the prosecutor to throw the book at villain. As others have said, given his rapid escalation to physical violence, this probably isn't his first assault, nor will it be his last, so let's get him away from the rest of us ASAP until he learns his lesson.

Cheers, Greg Raymer (FossilMan)

This is a really bad post.