Ok, so it's no secret that my biggest tilter is an obese man who smells like he just took a fresh dump right there in the seat. But any sort of foul odor is obnoxious at the table. The smell of sewage coming off a player in AC isn't an odd occurrence. Bad breath is another big one, but you can always offer gum or mints.

But what can be done about the other smells? I'm seriously looking for opinions because I thought about giving something a try. I thought about taking one of those pocket shot axe sprays. How do you think that would go over? Is that even allowed in casinos?

"Seat Change" / "Table Change"


Consider the possibility some players stink themselves up (or just don't bother to unstink themselves) before playing in an effort to get you off your A-game.

I think you run the risk of getting knocked out of your chair if you spray anything on another player. And probably asked to leave for the night.

another good reason to hide under a hoody, oh and get some of that stuff coroners use to help deal with the smell of dead bodies.

Had this happen for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Myself and another regular were on either side of this guy who just reaked. Everyone at the table could smell him as the air changed direction within the room.

The reg. walked over to the floor man and said something. A few minutes later the floor asked the man if he could have a word with him in the corner. A few minutes after that a runner collected his chips. It was very busy so no one was sure if he left or was given another seat but he was gone, so were were happy.

Although you obviously can't do anything like that the one thing that I do, uh, do is bring a car-seat/lumbar pad. Wal-Mart has some nice genuine-imitation leather ones for about $16. Not only will you not reek of the ass-sweat swamp the last ****bag left on the seat, you will also be the most comfortable player in the room.

Fabreze the hell out of it when you get home, of course.

1) What is it with AC that so many people stink? I see these threads all the time, and only rarely find myself next to foul smelling players in Oklahoma and god knows it's way hotter down here. Usually here it's the degens who have been playing for days without bathing and their hair stinks (a couple regs come to mind), or really bad breath, but it is not a super common thing.

2) If you spray perfume on someone you're going to get hit and/or kicked out.

Try these lines next time Stinky Mcstinkers sits next to you.

"Hey, is it me or does it smell like rotten ass in here"
"Excuse me sir, do you happen to have any mints on you? No? I didnt think so"
"ok, who forgot to shower this year"
"Sir, did you find that nice shirt in the dumpster?"
"Sir/maam did your cat piss on you before you left the house"
"sir, is the mens bathroom out of toilet paper?"
"sir, did someone accidently crap in your mouth today while you were sleeping?"

I don't know how I get the crappiest of seat draw luck, but usually when I play a tournament the smelly players get all extra stinked-up just for me. It's either the internet pros who proudly state "I'm on a 72 hour session, I haven't stopped home yet, and I've slept in my car" as they reek up the entire table. It's either that or Gramps McPitstink - I realize your not as limber as you used to be back in the day, but take care of the KEY parts of your bod at least once every two days. Pits, balls, crack....it's THAT easy. With that said....I have two solutions.

One is the aggressive approach. If they smell, fight back. Fill up on a Crave Case from White Castle's two hours before your scheduled tournament time. If you get seated next to a player who has a degree in Aroma Warfare.....fight back! Lift one cheek up and let 'er rip. When people complain of the smell coming from you, inform them you're just playing "his game" and point to the original culprit. All is fair, just giving them a taste of their own medicine.

If your more passive than that, I have a trick that works in my doctor's office. Some patients come in here smelling like they just wrestled in turds and Febreeze just ain't cutting it. Put some Vick's Vaporub under your nose. I 100% guarantee you, you won't smell them anymore (if you can stand the smell of the menthol). Works like a charm!

I'm just going to start bringing a 12-pack of Irish Spring with me, and anytime I go all-in against the hygiene-challenged, I'm gunna toss a bar up in that pot along with my chips. Consider it a bounty chip.

I'm out.

PRETTY SURE I'm going to use "sir, is the mens bathroom out of toilet paper?" next time I draw a bad seat!! HAHA these are awesome

I used to work in a room where a guy who came in always had a backpack with some personal items. Cell charger, laptop, phone etc. He also always had a couple cheap air freshners he would pull out and set on the rail of the table if someone else smelled. SOme were even small enough that he would use them as his card protector.

There's a pretty infamous reg in one san diego cardroom that is completely paralyzed from the waste down and wears a diaper. Sometimes the smell gets so bad people complain but he doesn't give a **** (literally) and keeps playing.