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Old 02-15-2019, 02:20 AM   #26
cashed
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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Originally Posted by PIHKAL View Post
As another poster pointed out there are a lot of dynamics here that weren't laid out in the OP, I didn't want to write a wall of text but I guess I should have considering how salty some people in here are.

There is 0 incentive to lie about this, at least I can' think of one. I also never said I was a good poker player or better than anyone else. I enjoy poker, I always gravitate towards it and I find lessons learned in it can applied to other facets of life, many parallels for me. I do not play poker to make money, I play poker because I enjoy the feeling of understanding and ideas make me high. I like to make more correct decisions than incorrect ones using all available information.

As I stated in an earlier reply this is a mutual acquaintance and the word friend should be totally disregarded. The back story is this guy is from our area and is friends with my good friend and roommate from his middle school/high school days or something, I hadn't met the dude up until like Dec 1st. The short story is he moved out to Cali a year or two ago, put all his eggs in one basket and things went awry. Things could be worse for him but he is still in a jam and has 0 to little funds. Now this is a house all about helping as we're all around this age and just starting to get things figured out. The problems start to arise when he starts trying to pull fast ones us with things that involve money. I won't go into the specifics but hes the kinda dude where when you give an inch he attempts to take a mile if he sees the opportunity but doesn't try to hard. It's at the point though where he knows we know these things but we've never said them out loud. The three long time roommates are all cool with tolerating him for the next two months until our lease is up and the three of us head to our new place and he does whatever. We do complain to each other quite a bit.

I don't want this to spin out into minutia anymore than it has but it boils down to we get hes in a jam and we are helping him by giving him a room for cheap and driving him around as he has no vehicle (here or west coast). He's become rather discouraged lately because as I've said we don't really give him inches anymore and he's not really doing anything for himself. I hope I'm not coming of as self righteous here because my life is a disaster zone, I'm just in an upswing right now.

Now whether or not his hand qualified for the high hand at Mohegan is irrelevant. The guy next to me certainly thought it qualified as did the rest of the table when he brought it up while dude was away from the table. Also from what I remember about mohegan you get a slip and it doesn't get put on the table, this might have changed though. The whole situation with him right now is....icky for everyone involved. I guess I should've made this clearer. I see a lot of myself in him when I was younger and like I said, this is the exact kind of thing that was done to me by the people around me. I don't need a lecture or shaming about the type of person I am. I'll end by saying the money is irrelevant and I find it horribly disgusting. I can't stand the stuff. I cover my basic needs to keep me breathing and happy (which is simple and cheap for me, so a lot to me is not a lot to most people) and I hemorrhage the rest on purpose. You wan't me in your poker game right now.

TLDR;

The dude has actively tried to take money out of our pockets without us noticing and has been taking every advantage he can in the recent past because of a pickle he is in. There's little guarantee that if he was to score this $1100 that all would end up in the hands of those who are owed if any, imo. I believe I am helping him by not helping him in this spot. 'maybe if I wasn't being so sneaky and shady, people would want to help me' An $1100 sting is not going to hurt myself or anyone else but this person, and it's all a 'principal' thing to others parties involved. I am horrible at poker.
Seriously, stop leaking money and get yourself a good therapist or counselor or psychologist. Figure out why you have the problems you have and sort them out.

I hope you can look back on this period of your life and have it feel foreign to you, because you are so far removed from your self-destructive past.
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Old 02-15-2019, 03:23 AM   #27
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

It sounds like you really hate your roommate, and hate yourself marginally less...so the good news here for you is that both of you ended up worse off.
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Old 02-15-2019, 07:54 AM   #28
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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It sounds like you really hate your roommate, and hate yourself marginally less...so the good news here for you is that both of you ended up worse off.
Hate is such a draining emotion. I don't hate him and I don't fault him for being who he is, no one gets it right but we're all supposed to try. I don't understand all the vitriol in this thread.
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Old 02-15-2019, 11:02 AM   #29
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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Assuming this story is true:

You take $1100 off of your table and away from your roommate because you want to prove a point that you're more attentive than he is? Or you're a better poker player than he is?....
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Originally Posted by cashed View Post
Seriously, stop leaking money and get yourself a good therapist or counselor or psychologist. Figure out why you have the problems you have and sort them out.

I hope you can look back on this period of your life and have it feel foreign to you, because you are so far removed from your self-destructive past.
You blast me telling me I'm a moron for not letting a fish put dead money onto the table, and then when I tell you I give away money because I don't like it you tell me to plug the leak and stop putting dead money out into the world....
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Old 02-15-2019, 12:13 PM   #30
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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Hate is such a draining emotion. I don't hate him and I don't fault him for being who he is, no one gets it right but we're all supposed to try. I don't understand all the vitriol in this thread.
It really seems like you hate him, as that’s the most logical reason for what you did (and wrote at concerning length about.)

You’re not interested in the poker aspects (one or two cards) of the high hand. Most here say it wasn’t actually eligible. Maybe it was.

And as for etiquette, this is different than a standard showdown OHTAP situation (though the current high-hand holder would disagree), and I think most people would at least try to nudge a friend/acquaintance towards showing. Maybe some raised eyebrows and looks towards the HH board.

So this doesn’t seem like a poker etiquette question, but more like one chapter in a strange psychodrama playing out mostly in your head where you’re trying to passive-aggressively punish/teach this whatever-we’re-calling-him and telling us and mutual acquaintances about it.

So it’s complicated.
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Old 02-15-2019, 12:40 PM   #31
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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Originally Posted by illdonk View Post
It really seems like you hate him, as that’s the most logical reason for what you did (and wrote at concerning length about.)

You’re not interested in the poker aspects (one or two cards) of the high hand. Most here say it wasn’t actually eligible. Maybe it was.

And as for etiquette, this is different than a standard showdown OHTAP situation (though the current high-hand holder would disagree), and I think most people would at least try to nudge a friend/acquaintance towards showing. Maybe some raised eyebrows and looks towards the HH board.

So this doesn’t seem like a poker etiquette question, but more like one chapter in a strange psychodrama playing out mostly in your head where you’re trying to passive-aggressively punish/teach this whatever-we’re-calling-him and telling us and mutual acquaintances about it.

So it’s complicated.
I do not hate this person, I promise. Everything else you've pointed out is on point. I just happen to believe that the difference between someone telling you how they ****ed up, and you ****ing up yourself is huge. When you **** up, you know exactly what went wrong and what to do differently in the future. If I had alerted him I don't think it would be as deep seated in his mind as if he had found out later what he missed. Kind of moot point since I haven't told him and don't plan on it but I was just looking for advice should I run into this in the future.

As for the length of my posts, this is just my nature. I blabber a lot. I am manic-depressive bi-polar and this is one of the side effects.
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Old 02-15-2019, 06:01 PM   #32
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

You can just close or delete this thread. The universe is funny. He popped tall today cleaned up got a full time job doing what hes good at and basically had a car gifted to him for $700. Seems the collective consciousness sides with you guys.
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Old 02-17-2019, 09:02 AM   #33
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

Youre in a forum full of poker players, spewing information thst you have a big ego and think you are good at poker while saying you dont. I mean maybe we are all wrong, and I could go word by word to show you specific things youve posted that led me to my conclusion but thats some nitty gritty i dont feel like dealing with right now. Its pretty likely most of us can read you better than you can read yourself.

There are 2 clear reasons you didnt tell him. 1) you dont like him (i agree hate is a strong word, but you like him less than a complete unknonw, who will get the money rather than him due to your actions.) 2) you arent gonna help someone who doesnt take your unsolicited advice, because he turned down your boring advice so now screw him on this right? I 100% guarantee if he had graciously taken your advice and humbly deferred to your poker superiority, you woild have told him.

This applies to whatever game type... poker, mini golf, bowling, most people dont want your advice, and most people who think they are good at something cant help but spew it onto every person within earshot (one of the telltale signs you got a very self important opinion of your poker skills). Go bowling with literally anybody, there will be someone in your group who just wants to chuck the damn ball down the lane (and often into the gutter) and some thinks hes good player with a 105 average falling over himself to give that individual unsolicited advice which invariably leads to that person not having fun.

For what its worth, to answer the question, I wouldnt tell a guy I dislike that they won the HH. I also wouldnt drive an hour to the casino with them. I also wouldnt do anything to even mildly encourage a stupid person with serious financial problems who owes money to my friends to play poker. So this is one of those hands where you ask “what do I do on the river???” When you screwed up preflop, flop, and turn.

Last edited by Tomark; 02-17-2019 at 09:10 AM.
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Old 02-18-2019, 02:07 AM   #34
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

^^+++++

And to make it worse, you are choosing to let him live with you. If your relationship is as poor and superficial as you say, my advice ask him to leave. You will maybe be happier, if you even can be happy.
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Old 02-18-2019, 08:30 AM   #35
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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Originally Posted by PIHKAL View Post
There's little guarantee that if he was to score this $1100 that all would end up in the hands of those who are owed if any, imo. I believe I am helping him by not helping him in this spot.
This line, imo, is the crux of the whole thread right here. You need to really figure out why you think this is true. It seems to me that you just wanted to avoid the situation that you think is inevitable when he doesn't pay back any of the money he owes people? That may be true, but it may not be true. Or maybe you really wanted to do him harm?

I know it's not exactly like you're ripping 1.1K out of his hands and flushing it down the toilet because he doesn't even know about it, and of course it IS on him to have known. I'm trying to think of an analogy...maybe something like some guy in front of you doesn't hold the door for you when leaving some expensive store and you notice him setting his bag on the roof of his car while he unlocks his door and forgets the stuff as he gets in...and you don't tell him because "**** that guy, am I right?". You could have easily said "hey, your stuff" but instead, with zero actual gain on your part, you let it happen for no other benefit than your little smug-self-congratulatory-feeling that you will share with no one but yourself.

I dunno. Seems pretty pointless to me


If you really don't like the guy, just remove him from your life.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:37 PM   #36
robrich
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Re: 1/2 NL High hand jackpot and a over confident friend

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I don't gain anything by telling him either. He's not going to give me any and it's not gonna grease any wheels. I probably wont see this person 2yrs from now.
True, you might not. But, you might.
It was around here I lost most of my siding with you. this just sounds so selfish.
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