Hi

My threads is probably a bit special for a poker forum. I've been playing now for 2 years. I've always been a very competitive person and I was always certain that what other people can do I'm certainly able to do as well. If I weren't able though I stopped. In school and university I always have been one of the best, with compared to the other little effort. In sports I've also been pretty good...for example I started swimming when I was 9 and within a year I was one of the top 20 swimmers in one discipline in my country. However my team didn't select me for the national championship so I stopped...this has always been a weakness of me, I wanted too fast too much.

In poker I started reading books right from the beginning and I've always played good in my opinion. The first year I played small stakes, 11$ sngs and NL25. After one year I had 400$ in my account, that's when the tragedy started. I tried 3 100$ turbo sngs and won all at once. After that I was 4-tabling 100$ sngs for 2 weeks and was pretty successful, raising my roll up to 8k. I wanted to try NL200 with that roll. After I've lost 2 buyins I started tilting..ridiculous I know. I played a 500$ sng, which I've won. But after that, I started losing, a lot. I didn't play good anymore at all and lost all within a day! This day I seriously almost killed myself. I blocked myself of all poker sites the same day. The next day I opened up a second account everywhere though. I deposited 100$ and played an MSOP 25$ tournament at Fulltilt last summer with 2000 participants. At the final table I was massive chip leader and was close to winning 11.5k. However I finished 5th, winning "only" 3k, which I've lost soon thereafter.

Since then I've always wanted to stop and return after some days or weeks. At the beginning I played good with new hope but after some stupid dropout of a tournament I've always started tilting and lost everything. Money has lost its value to me because I've been winning and losing 1k in a matter of hours! I've cheated at work to get more money to play poker, I've sold a lot of stuff to play poker and lost it all.
Today I deposited 100$ at Pokerstars, built it up to 320 and then participated in a 40$ sat for an 800$ seat with 72 particpants. When we were 5 players (3 got a seat) I was chipleader. In one hand was Ak vs A8 vs 99 (99 was the big stack) and and a flopped, otherwise I would have won. Then I pused AT from the SB into KQo, the flop was AQQ, gg me again as bubble boy. In no less than 20 minutes I lost the rest of my roll.

I've blocked me out for half a year now from pokerstars, but I fear I'll return to maybe some other site. Because I cannot accept than I'm worse than other people in this and I've always seen that I'm good!! But I cannot control my emotions..but when I'm at home and bored I always want to play.
How cna I forget about poker! I don't want to play anymore...but I'm so envy of all these guys making 100ks per year or more. I would some much enjoy being that guy but I really need to stop....

I hope someone took the time to read this long post, thanks for your advice

wow. are u really serious?
your biggest problem pokerwise was def. bankroll management.
but this sounds serious. I really think u need profesionel help here for compulsive gambling, because u obviously play with money u need for ur daily living (cheating at work, selling stuff,..., to have money to play).
I don't have any experience with compulsive gambling I just write down here what I think an objektiv person can say to help.

Sounds like you have alot of potential, but as mentioned above bankroll management is seems to be your problem, looking at it from a poker point of view. All that aside I think you need professional help aswell, you're making unjustified sacrifices in your life to play poker. Poker should not be a priority If you're not already making a living off of it. As for envying the people who make $100ks a year, Im pretty sure most people would like that too regardless of them being a poker player or not. Its hard to give you help from your post because I think your problem stems much deeper than what you've posted here.

Best of luck with finding a solution to this.

wow good 4 u 4 posting that takes guts and i think is a big starting point 4 u 2 b honest with urself!!
Sounds like u have a gambling problem but sounds like it could also b something more 2 it then just a gambling problemnim just being honest.

I myself found alot of success early when playing poker and won a large amount of money 4 myself. I dont wanna go into details but basically had bad bankroll management stopped working and lost all what i had won and then some credit cards loans and anything i could 2 get money. It wasnt just poker but many casino games online and live and basically betting on anything in bookies.

I was young but had a child and misses 2 support. I was drinking alot also.
I ended up going 2 counciling 4 depression and aa and ga meetings which helped me realise alot about myself and beleive me i saw people who had real bad problems alot wosre then mine but still i had a major problem.
Basiclly i realised that the gambling and drinking wasnt so much the problem in itself but was a release 4 me 2 hide underlying problems.

I dont no u or no any answers 4 u, but seeing a proffesional and admitting 2 myself that i had a problem was the 1st step 4 me.

I have played poker now 4 about 4 years and treat it as a hobby that sometimes makes a bit of cash on the side. I learned what issues i had and was lucky i geuss that i addresed them and managed 2 sort them. i do not gamble now really apart from fun bets on major sporting events and play poker 4 enjoyment and try 2 improve skill.

I geuss i was lucky that what i thought was a gambling problem was in fact not and managed 2 work out what it was and sort it and realised that the gambling and drinking wasnt so much the problem but was a kinda smokescreen 4 the real issue.

Hope this helps in any way and gl with the future

hey I was in the same situation like you couple months ago. Than I was learning how importent BRM really is.
Is one of the MOST importent things that you have to realize, if you want be good at poker..
And forget about your imaginations.
All you imaginations will always beat you and be against you.
Learn the game from ground.
Move up in stakes, it will help you a lot if you can beat a level.
I can tell you one years ago I just have no plan what i should play SnG or cashgame whats stakes NL 100 or NL 10, Shortstack, middelstack or fullstack,omaha or NLHE I just had no plan at all...
I also thought I was good at poker and could make a lot of money in this game but the true is I was bad (I am still bad but now I know this fact thats the difference).
I just deposited and deposited over and over again and I lost it all very quickly without any plan how to play the game and w/o any BRM.
I also was very emotional and just couldnt stand any bad beats...

Than at the beginning of the new year I learnt to manage my feelings and how to get over bad beat how to manage variance...
I also learnt BRM finally.
I put hard work on my faults: I played my cards very bad, I played my position very bad I didnt fold if I should, I didnt bluff if I should, had very poor reads on my opponents, problems to stay agressiv etc...

I learnt just the game from ground. I've found a limit which I can beat, I started with 40 buy ins at NL 25 and in the last 14days I am up over 1000$ just at Nl 25... And my BR is growing and growing but i dont think to move up or to take any shots on higher limits quickly.
I learnt from my faults in the past. I lost all ambitions, just focus on right now.
Now I am at the point of stabilisation of my mindset...and that is the most importent thing right now.
I am happy with my progress so far but I am just still at the beginning...

So you can do it also but learn BRM, learn how to play the game with correct odds without tilting. And than if you will beat a level your confidece will grown up and if you confidence grown up you game will be much better...
like a circle...

sorry for my bad english...

Thank you for all your replies...and btw: no problem for the english, I'm from a german speaking country too :-)

I know I've always sucked at BRM, but I just don't want to play for pennies...my favourite games were always the rebuy sats for sunday million etc, sucked at sngs though I must say if I look at my stats. However you are right, my problems lie way deeper. I'm just unhappy with my life, because I've been single for 4 years now and I've really given up hope...I'm 26 and achieved almost anything career wise a guy can achieve at my age. I have a top university degree, worked at some really big firms and had important jobs and made a lot of money. The sad thing if I look my at my taxes, is that I've earned the past three years (while still going to u niversity!) over 150k...and have nothing anymore. But I also had an exclusive lifestyle, it's definitely not just poker. Since I've always changed sites and screennames it's hard to say how much I've lost in online gambling, but my guess would be around 15-20k.

At the moment I'm at a school alot of guys would give very much to be at and I really need to focus on studying. But there's always poker in my mind...I always think how nice it would be to earn a little bit cash even though I'm studying and have no job at the moment. Then it's always the same story...I cash in a little bit, am successfull, then have a really bad day because I got rejected or something else and lose it all. Same old story again and again...

I'm not 100% happy about the self-exclusion already, because I always think I'm missing making a lot of money. However it probably would be the best if I stopped 4ever...

At the moment I'm

as I said..I managed again to lose today 500$... :-(

Stop playing poker. Go back to swimming.

Or at least let me have dibs on playing you HU.

You need professional help.
The beauty of poker is that it destroys self deception.

But you haven't won any yet, have you ?

At least you don't have a house to lose and a wife and kids. Looking forward to reading further adventures of fail (seriously, you need more than some friendly advice .. get help)

It seems pretty clear to me that you have a gambling problem. Poker is affecting the rest of your life and seems to be endangering your job and well being. You really do need to get some professional help.

op start smokin weed it helps take your mind off of things

Agreed, weed indeed.

You absolutely need to stop RIGHT now. Be honest with yourself. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. You're a compulsive gambler and a pretty terrible lier as well. If you've made so much money and finished such a nice university, why are you back to studying and without a job again? You say you make insane amounts of cash yet are unemployed, you have worked for big firms yet have nothing to fall back upon?

As for your poker play, PLEASE...You've lost 15-20k yet consider yourself a good player who just runs bad?

Get real.

Check this -

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/20questions.html

I don't even know you and I'm sure you'll score 50% on those questions.

You're a problem gambler and the sooner you admit it and seek help, the sooner things will start looking up.

And if this post sounds harsh, well, that was kinda the point. You need a slap across the face, even from some random forum-goer in order to realize you're making a mistake which WILL **** up your life.

Oh and as for relationships, what kinda chance do you wanna have when you're broke and out on your ass in the streets? Focus your energy and money elsewhere, unless you're Jabba's illegitimate son, results will follow quicker than you can imagine!

Good luck, and keep us posted.

i think there are some real good advice from our fellow posters

some people are just not meant to play poker full time, i make money playing poker and i dont play poker full time b/c if you just focus on poker then you will surely eventually tilt, you need balance and op has no idea of what kind of balancing act it takes to continue on this poker journey, bankroll mgmt is one of it as is studing your game and seeking advice from fellow successful players and bonus whoring

op, dont take this as a way to feel challenged but if you cant stop playing then at least play the right way, the game takes discipline, if you have to get a fkn tatoo on your body saying something that reminds you to stay focused on the tables, that way it might be harder to tilt since the reminder is right there on your freaken body!

or just stop playing, but stopping is difficult but filling the time with another activity is the trick, dont think of it as stop playing but rather doing stopping else instead

everyone can manage his leaks..but that need time and patience...poker is like other jobs..to be good you need hard work..w/o hard word you will achive nothing. Not in poker, not in sport nowhere...

+2

FYP

The following website may help:


www.howtoquitpoker.com

Yes, with your personality style, you must quit poker and all forms of gambling.

+1 to what BoundforGlory said.

hell, +100000.

Professional help really needed imo. Weed might help, but won't solve it.

If ur for real, u alredy figured out what u really need to figure out to quit poker: I KNOW U HAVE A PROBLEM. Most addicted gamblers don't realize this.

U already KNOW FOR A FACT that u have a problem, and that's a pretty good start-off.

All u have to do is take this problem to a doctor or whatever, and he will treat u, just like any other condition. If u seek professional help, u have great chances of quitting and getting back on track.

1. bankroll management, dont move up to fast

2. dont expect too much

3. play a fixed ammount of hands daily and leave if you feel you tilt

4. many " professionals " earn under 50 K and its still more than many jobs

ok dude, I am in some boring music class now, here is my advice I was basically on the same boat as u about 1yr ago, although I never stole or cheated any1 to support my gambling problems, but when it came to brmanagment I was the worst, I must have busted like 200 times,but then one day someone told me something that kinda woke me up a little, "if u dunt manage ur money,u will always be broke", from then on I definitley improved,but I still struggled with massive tilt problems, since I play PLO, I knew I had to improve my mental game sooner or later. I would definitley recommend watching jared tendler's videos on stoxpoker, and read your worst poker enemy,poker mindset and kill tilt, and while reading em, make sure to take notes I have started my mental education about 1 month ago, and I still have a long way to go, but I know iam getting better everday,Iam pretty sure u will too if u try, gl

Thanks gor your confessions. Ive been there and done that. I tried to play poker fulltime and now im in the red. Down 7k usd
After 5 months of playing live poker at charity poker places in Michigan.

I wanna be a pro poker and Ive been thinking of quitting poker for good. Due to losing after 100 sessions.i wanted to improve my game and have been feeling down cause I think I could improve more but I just don't have what it takes to be a pro. Today I found out some other people have the same problems and after reading these posts I just don't want to give up on poker yet.

I should work and build a bankroll then play as a hobby till I could actually make money playing poker.

Thanks for your confessions guys and good luck.

You create a new account and bump an 8 year old thread? Good start and not suspicious at all