I actually didnt know this sub forum existed until yesterday. a little about my self ive been playing poker for about 3 years, im a winning player but for a while now all i do is just lay in bed and watch twitch and browse instagram. Ive become pretty stressed out about putting in the hours because i know its going to be a long 7 hour grind and mainly i know its going to give me adrenaline spikes and stress me out . i do deal with mild depression and anxiety. im not sure if i should got to the doc and get put on meds or not or should i continue to grind it out but the thing is im only playing one or two games a day which is no where near enough. im really close to making this a full time thing but i just cant pull myself out of bed and grind for hours.

Hey!

This is a common issue for many poker players. You clearly enjoy the game of poker but the reactions that occur to winning and losing cause you to build this fear of not wanting to put in volume.

A clear issue from your post is the impression in the mind of playing poker as a "long 7-hour grind". With this image, of course, there isn't this desire to put in volume.

As a general note, most human beings are not aware of the impact language has on the shaping of the mind. And in poker, when it is viewed as a 'grind' then it is not viewed as something enjoyable.

However, when actually playing poker is viewed as something enjoyable then there isn't this effort to force yourself to go and play.

"I like playing poker. I like the challenge of making decisions based on the theory I've learned and the observations that I make"

Can you see the powerful nature of viewing poker from this standpoint (or something similar)?

Now, as far as, anxiety and depression go getting to the root of the issue is imperative. Unfortunately, on a forum like this, it's difficult. Precisely, because there is a barrier of writing back and forth on a public forum.

Being able to talk about your own specific issues in a dialogue is helpful. Because it allows you to gain a grasp of what is actually going on in your own life. And move towards an understanding that is actionable and applicable.

What can be said, is that taking anxiety and depression lightly is irrational. With the cultural influences right now, the need to be always doing something, making money, becoming a success, etc. are all largely the dominating factor driving the behaviours of human beings.

But if anxiety and depression are there then they are there. And ignoring this due to some form of desire blocking the necessity to look into this is clearly not intelligent.

Taking the right action to dissolve these issues is an act of strength and intelligence and not an act of weakness.

What the best action is you probably already honesty know. And you can find out if you ask yourself when your mind is quiet.

If you're already feeling like this, I'd be extremely hesitant about making this a full time thing.

Thanks for the reply, its a weird thing because i know i have anxiety and depression for years at least 5 years now, but i havent received treatment because i guess im so used to it and its become part of who i am in a way. But i definitely need to seek treatment at some point.

I also believe that i have a internet addiction, specifically instagram and twitch.tv. to be honest thats the first two things i do in the morning, i check instagram and start watching twitch, i would say i probably watch 12-15 hours a day of twitch, and probably check instagram a couple hundred times a day.

I tried a web blocking app a few months ago for about a week and it worked but i was able to bypass it and was back to my old ways.

But ive found a new one and will try it out tomorrow and im hoping this will work because i feel like **** just siting here all day, especially with small success at the higher limits and being so close to my poker goals.

It's great that your honest about this! Let's see if we can look into this...

The various forms of entertainment on the internet (Instagram and twitch in your case) are stimulating.

When you repeatedly spend time doing this and become absorbed in it, the mind becomes attached to this stimulation (what is commonly referred to as addiction).

Most of us are attached to some form of stimulation (coffee, our phones, TV etc.) but are not fully aware of it. When you look at it objectively and a little deeper you see that our minds form these grooves or habits based off what conveniently provides stimulation.

This leads us to the following inquiry:

Is it possible to break out of this habit forming mechanism? Does forming another habit (a so-called 'healthy habit') in the mind get to the root of the issue?

And a little further and to something practical:

1) Is it possible to look into the urge (inwardly) to check Instagram and the urge to watch Twitch?
2) Just to simply look at it without trying to change the urge or act on it?
3) Is it possible to look at it as many times as is necessary throughout the day to not be absorbed in it?

Fear of adrenaline spikes is giving you anxiety? Do you find poker to be fun at all, i mean when you're running normal instead of great?

Meds wont help, your just putting a band aid on the actual problem.
If you don’t enjoy the grind and you are only in it as your job, quit now.
It only gets worse, I’ve been there before.

Poker has become a job to you that you do not like.

Take a few weeks off and see what happens when you are back. If you still have anxiety and depression over the grind, this is not a profession for you.

I just looked this place up, too. Rather than rant on a forum, I thought I'd just read what some others are saying about their mental game.