I'm not sure what forum this goes in but I really need help. Everything I discuss here is NLHE. I couldn't decide if this belonged in a strategy forum or a psych forum. I probably need a psychiatrist who is also a professional poker player.
Reads on me: MAWG here. Almost always show up in expensive clothes and a ~$5-K$10K watch. Have had to eat from change out of my couch at various times in my life, so I am humble and this is not a barg, but info on my appearance to other players. Had ground out half of my income for a few years on FT while sitting in an easy IT job, pre Black Friday of course. I'm not good enough to do that now. I got better but the game still slowly passed me by. It was mostly $10-$100 SNG full table, and $50HU SNG. I used to go with some friends to AC casinos and play for 24-36 hours straight with no rooms and clean up in cash games, and sleep on the ghetto bus home with many thousands hiding in my shoes and an open knife in my hand inside my pocket. Was always a cash fish online, if I'm honest with myself. One year short of a computer science degree but I dropped out for a tech startup with a friend in the dotcom bubble and lived large on venture capital for awhile before it burst and 9/11 decimated tech for a few years. I'm very good with math compared to most people, but I wouldn't dare say that compared to so many people on here whose posts I study.
My problem: Looking back through my history of playing live casino and cough home poker for the past 5 years, I am consistently profitable in my pro-infested Live 2/5 games and consistently a slight-to-big loser in 1/2. I play 2/5 the most. I'm about break-even at 5/10NL but at a MUCH smaller sample size. I used to have a poker-dedicated bankroll but I am now liferolled.
When I sit at a table full of pros and regs, I feel at home and can read and exploit. When a reg has a wide preflop range I know how to exploit it. I read patterns and body language and ranges and can profitably call down very light and bet for very thin value. I have a good grasp on game theory, although it seldom comes into play. I balance my ranges in a tough 2/5 game at 2 AM on a Monday night when I know I'm probably the weakest player at the table. I can see when I'm being observed and I can counter-exploit. However, when I sit at a table full of tourists I lose my shirt. I absolutely suck at 1/2NL, and at 2/5 on holiday weekends when everyone sucks.
What's wrong with me? Am I really only good at exploiting my image? Please help me understand how to improve in the areas I am bleeding money from. I'm completely blind to it and no longer have poker buddies to discuss things with. I feel as though if I close this hole, I can be truly profitable and move on in my growth.