First post didn’t even know where to post this. But let me start by saying It’s come to point where I am questioning if I can win. I’m getting the money in good I want the calls people are trying to gift wrap it off and I can’t hold. It’s weird Ive left session after session In the last 7 months losing the biggest pots of the night. Players are hitting MIRACLES and we’re getting it all in while I know I’m ahead MASSIVELY then some how they hit something so gross to were they feel bad (not really) but you what I’m saying it gets quiet, I just say “nice hand”can’t be a bad sportsman. I’ve cut out all sports betting for over 3 years no table games for two years tighthen my range and somehow my winning percentage in poker has dropped. How? Now I will be honest I do not put near the volume I use to put in because I was degening 15hr sessions at 1/2 for about 2k a month. I had to stop, it’s not a great lifestyle choice and I was underolled for 2/5 full time play. The inevitable was going to happen so I saved myself the despair. I knew if wanted to climb stakes I would need a legit br and LIFEROLL.. So I got a job. Next, I want to take a shot at full time play. been saving and playing here and there to pad the roll but roll is not getting padded just jab at consistently and I feel as if I’m playing better, more emotional controlled, and come out of sessions wondering how I lost? Literally perfect spots 80% 77% 91% two made hands get cracked and one world draw will brick. Stuck. Again. Then start thinking time-frame set backs wondering if I truly want this? It’s the longest time frame I’ve been through it consistently. My massive pots don’t slide my way anymore I create them get there get all the money in then boom a MIRACLE. My question is how do you overcome the fear that starts to settle In as to feeling like your going to lose no matter what? Like I’ve said I’ve cut down tremendously on playing or should I just take a extended period completely away say 3-6 months? Appreciate any feedback

Variance is part of the game and you shouldn't expend emotional energy worrying about it. Just continue to play solid poker and detach from the short term results. If you are playing better than your opponents, your results will eventually reflect that.

How many times per week were you playing long sessions?

Sometimes its great to take a nice break and come back when your refreshed.

variance is just something you have to deal with in poker

this is not forever, you WILL win again. keep playing. keep studying. taking a break can be a great way to reset your fundamentals and put together a better roll. play the game the way its meant to be played, no emotion, no fear. forget the downswing, forget everything: your only responsibility is to FIND the right line/decision when the action is on you. you deal with those microscopic decisions, and the rest will take care of itself.

remember that variance wont always work against you: in the future there will be sessions where you run so hot that the pot spontaneously bursts into flames and slides towards you before the river is even dealt.

Variance is brutal, relentless, unforgiving. Poker doesn't give two ****s...will kick you while you're down and laugh in the process. It's part of the game that is almost unfair. Get properly rolled and put in 200-250k hands to see how you stand as a player. On upswings don't forget to remember how bad things can be and put yourself in that mindset where you still need to study. Its fcked up.. will punish you mentally over and over and over. It's best to have no feelings.

Poker can be brutal.

Which is why it's so important to build a life outside of it that's fun, healthy and fulfilling. You have to realise that when you play poker for a living if it becomes the only activity you are trying to excel in, your happiness is very vulnerable.

So ask yourself this: what really determines my happiness?

Get an honest picture of this. And realign your factors towards things which are controllable. Hint: The greatest overarching factor is personal growth.

PS If you can take comfort in one thing that would be that through adversity we all grow our resilience capabilities.

PPS If you are really going through emotional turmoil feel free to hit me up in a private message

My respects to you, OP. How long can the worst possible run out keep coming almost every hand you play?? I used to say, "Oh, about a month." Now I say three years. The comments along the line of "there is variance in poker, you know," aren't very helpful. Yes, you know that variance and dealing with variance is an expected, inevitable part of the game. What isn't so inevitable is radical white swan outliers that show up. Your whole point is about when variance gets way out into these nether regions. It isn't expected. It isn't fair. It just is.