I have some tilt problems like many poker players.

I've noticed for myself though, that losing is far worse than losing money.
My most tilted sessions probably in a long time was playing spin and go's
during a promotion for like no money, probably the smallest game they have maybe. I ran so bad for a stretch of them and was pretty heated.

I get super mad losing at video games sometimes too. Pretty much anything where I really try I guess. I wouldn't get mad losing to someone at lawn bowling, so it doesn't apply to everything.

But the amount of money seems fairly irrelevant to me in terms of the instant tilt that happens. Perhaps later I'm better off when the loss is small and meaningless. But in the heat of the moment, I'll get pissed losing pennies.

Just wondering if anyone else is like this, or do you guys get more pissed when the loses are big.

The question here is really: Why does my mind suffer when 'I' lose?

This, when you look at it honestly, is a deep-rooted issue that most likely cannot be gone into fully in a brief written response.

What I can suggest to look at is to look into how losing affects your sense of 'self'.

What is it that losing affects? When 'I' lose what is it that is actually being hurt?

Is it an image, created in the mind, that I have about myself or the memory of losing several times in a row?

When you take an approach of honestly understanding the deep rooted issues at play here you can unlock an opportunity to move past the hurt that is felt.

Had the same thing grinding NL5 on Pokerstars, 4 zoom tables at once. When I got 4-5 bad beats in a span of 10 minutes which is not that unusual playing so many hands I was tilting like crazy even though it was a loss of 15$ or so.

I think it might be entitlement tilt - I deserve to win because I'm better than my opponent, I don't deserve to have these bad beats against fish who called me with some garbage and got there etc.

I still have this problem to be honest and that's why I don't play online, too many bad beats can happen too quickly, I prefer slower live game where I can get my head straight after some unlucky runout.

I dunno, what if were just hard wired to hate losing. I was a poor loser at 6 years old. Makes me think its all just natural and it can be managed, controlled better, but can never be fixed.

To accept it as natural quite clearly blocks the potential for this habit to change.

"Controlled better" - one has to ask does inflicting control over an emotional response cause it to fade? or does the issue persist in some fashion?

"but can never be fixed" - this is an assumption based off your background that is your conditioning.

I understand this doesn't leave you with anything. But have you ever looked at your emotional response in the moment it actually occurs? That is have you looked at the physiological response in the body to losing? The movement and content of thoughts created?

To look into it without wanting or forcing it to change unlocks something quite spectacular. That is, once you have an insight into the 'entity' who is looking at this response is connected to the response and within the same field.

Well its also an assumption of observation. Like Phil Hellmuth really hasn't gotten better at tilt control over the years, and he's married to a shrink.
He wants to win as bad as I do, so I'm sure he's worked on it. He knows that getting really mad doesn't help at the table.

Same with like a Draymond Green NBA finals, he knows he gets too pissed off that its a technical and he's hurting his team, I'm sure he's at least tried some techniques to calm himself, but no much success.

I've tried stuff myself. But not getting mad when losing to me, is like dropping a bowling ball on your foot, and telling yourself not to feel pain.

But to your point, something we all just have to work on continually.
I've just never seen a hot head like phil, draymond, ever really change.
You ever see a poker player with tilt issues make a drastic change in this regard. In my experience, the hot heads remain the hot heads, and the ones who are really good at tilt control imop (chip reese), were always that way
and were just calmer right from there first ever played hand of poker

Unfortunately you are looking at two/three individuals as examples of truth.

If one looks at other individuals, sees they have tried to change and have not then this builds a belief that change is not possible.

However, if one sees what is happening here in the mind very clearly one sees the serious nature of the issue:

That it is imperative not to build any belief. Because as soon as a belief is built this forms an assumption that "this is how the world works". And it is this very assumption/belief that blocks the opportunity for actual change.

Look at it from a transaction analysis* point of view: Humans want to exist in homeostasis.

When something bad happens to you you can regain homeostasis (equilibrium) in two ways
- you make something bad happen to someone (or something) else. (That's why some guys who have a bad day at work come home and beat their wives)
- you neutralize it with a good feeling. (You got dumped? Eat a pound of ice cream.)

In poker sometimes many bad things happen to you in sequence because that's just the way variance works (or you just happen to run into superior players), and the only chance to regain homeostasis is - for some - to try and immendiately recoup the losses. No matter the risk. (That this rarely works is obvious)

In transaction analysis people talk about transaction units. You try to give out as much as you get.
Example 1: You greet your neighbor in passing (spend on transaction unit), he greets you back (receive on transaction unit). This is an exchange that leaves you in homeostasis. All is well and both of you can go on about your business

Example 2: You greet your neighbor in passing but he doesn't greet you back (maybe he didn't hear you? Maybe he's mad at you for some unknown reason?). In any case you spent a transaction unit and didn't get one back. Result: you feel stressed/bad.

Example 3: You greet your neighbor in passing and suddenly he stops you and tells you all about his recent vacation. You spent one transaction unit but got many back. This is awkward.

Soooo, to make a long story short: you must find a way to recover homeostasis. The best way is to expand your transaction horizon. Currently you're focussing too much on an immediate return to equilibrium. You tilt because you cannot recover within a couple minutes/hours. If you expand your transaction horizon to go to days, weeks, months or ideally to "poker is just one long session" then the problem solves itself.

This takes discipline, though. Poker pros prey on those who lack exatly this discipline.

*see the books by Eric Berne on the subject

I finally solved on a psychological level also the losing-money issue by changing my focus from money to performance; I am ready for the limit, I have the skills, the roll, and I just focus on the performance and trust that I will make it through the variance, ignoring its monetary value.

This keeps me in peace and happiness. I won't allow the negative feelings of the loses of the stacks and loses on the table stake. I just focus on performance. I am confident enough, or I wouldn't be there.

I can later take a look at the result with a tracker but they are just numbers and will show the all-in EV is fine and if I go through the biggest losing pots and see nothing wrong, I am more happy, additionally to knowing I played as well as I can expect at that point of my development. If I played badly, I take a mental note and continue, it not being a worry at all as I am where I am supposed to be.

Losing (not money) is an issue also but having the first attitude right, it should be a lesser problem as one will be tilting less if at all. There is a learning curve for dealing with such emotions. One just needs to focus on performance instead of money or losing. One can be depressed later if one isn't beating a limit (if one gets beat by some player as a result of him being better, no problem, and if he got just lucky, no problem) but being depressed isn't helping but one needs to find ways to improve.