I think this is the right section to post this; I've struggled with this my whole life I feel like, When you tell people you play poker for a living they always react in strange way , usually confusion followed by negativity. This bothers me because I feel like I have to cut these people out of my life and that's basically what I've done. There's no animosity towards them, I just know that I want people around me that will support me and respect my work. Being misunderstood all the time is annoying. They tend to compare poker with table games like blackjack and roulette and just assume that I have a problem and I'm crazy when in reality I work my ass off and take the game very serious. Ok I think I'm done ranting lol Just wanted to vent somewhere and hopefully other people out there can relate to this. My strategy of isolation has worked wonderfully but is there a better way?

Just get rich and people come around

lol yea the wrong type of people, money isn't important in life but its all people care about

Most family and friends are the wrong type of people. You’re not going to get the average person to understand how you study ranges and solvers. People are results oriented so they need witness the end not the means.

You're right about that man

Though it's easier said than done, what people think of you and your life isn't your problem, it's theirs. Live the life you want to live and be proud of that life and of who you are. With that mindset and attitude the right people will come around and the wrong ones will eventually drift away. Hang in there, wish you the best!!

Thanks a lot for the kind words, great points as well.

I'm probably not qualified to address this issue, since it probably becomes an issue if you pretty much full time grind, which I don't.
But that answer made me think of guys like Esfiandari, with his father always sweating him. Also Negreanu and his mother,r.i.p..
Sure, if you have massive success, I guess people come around.

Convincing people about poker is largely fruitless. Recognise your energy is limited each day and save it for something actually useful

If you're good at explaining things conceptually, sometimes you can make in-roads with people.

For instance, you can analogize it with day-trading, and illustrate how any individual session (like trading day) doesn't represent your level of success, but rather you're spending a lot of time studying game theory, math, and strategy to make a lot of individual decisions that pay dividends in the long-run; and that you treat it like a business such that you have the records to know how much you're expected to make hourly, what days and locations you profit from the most etc. Yes, there's luck--but there's luck in anything, and just like in anything, making more right decisions than the next guys makes you money in the long-run. I think saying things like that can assuage a lot of people's concerns. And sure, it's easy to just say that you should be strong enough not to care what other people think...that's certainly true on some level. But at the same time, caring about how your family feels about--and caring to eliminate any unnecessary fear and anxiety that may be expressing towards your life decisions--is the sign of at least a basically healthy and functional relationship with your family.

That's a really good analogy, thanks

I like to clarify with ppl that poker makes me money even after I subtract how much it costs (ppl think we only talk of winnings and don't factor in how much we've lost). I say it like 3 or 4 times in different ways. "Total profit I've made this year minus the losses is x". It's like betting on heads or tails but you know the coin will land heads 60% of the time etc etc. I explain it over and over and over. And next time we meet, I explain it again. It probably took 3 years for my mum to stop worrying.

Are these people not giving you any money? You did say in this thread that you want people to support you. Is it financial support?

I would change my belief from money isn't important in life to money is very important in life. If you want to play poker you need chips which money buys usually.

In terms of brm yes money is important, and no I don't mean financial support; I don't expect people outside of the poker community to be interested in staking of any kind, I simply meant I don't appreciate the constant negativity

going to go ahead and toot my own horn here

lots of good stuff in this original thread:
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1...aining-345270/

wow awesome thread! its a skill game Jo!!

Did you move out from your family s house?
Do you pay all your bills?
Can you effort to pay a "normal" unexpected event (ex. broken car, salary if u get injured) ?
Are you planning or paying a pension for yourself ?
Can you take time off if your presence is needed ?
If you answering no to some of these questions probably at the moment they 're right. This doesnt mean you should care who s right or wrong.

Steve makes some good points.

I've been trying to convince my parents regarding a poker career since 21 or so. They were extremely hostile to the idea at first. Even when I started grinding online several years later and showed them graphs of a million+ hands where I'm making more money than I ever have, their reaction was like I could suddenly lose it all (mass tabling low stakes?). My mom had bizarre nonsensical ideas about me losing everything and getting in debt to loan sharks who would break my legs or something when I couldn't pay. My dad being more math-minded admitted I might be able to make money this way but in his conservative Christian mind I was just a step up from a prostitute or drug dealer.

They finally came around when I was 30. It took many many conversations and explanations of the same concepts over and over. And my parents are intelligent people. It can be hard as hell changing peoples beliefs, and the older they get, the harder it is. I recall reading somewhere that people's beliefs are fairly fluid into early adulthood (college age or so) but by their 30s tend to become entrenched and unchanging in their beliefs.

So...good luck. It will take you a while unless you quickly amass a fortune. In the meantime maybe just explain you're doing what makes you happy, and even if they don't understand it, the people who care about you may accept it a little more.

Yes I completely agree that I need to be financially independent, It is especially difficult when they've seen me as a losing player for years. ( because I was one ) It just makes the idea of convincing them seem futile. My mom still thinks that the "house always wins" lol I told her I play against other players not the house but they can't even understand that simple concept even though they have respectable jobs and are pretty smart people. I will quietly establish my win rate and prove to myself that I am winning player, and then see if I still care about entertaining the idea of explaining myself to others;

Yea I totally agree that people don't change late in life, I think it just has to be a agree to disagree situation; I can't control the situation but I can control how I respond to the situation; so i'll just keep positive and keep trudging along

"but I can control how I respond to the situation; so i'll just keep positive"

Wisdom for many aspects of life...

It is not about the family and friends but about some people overall, and I have had trouble with it only outside my close social circles. It is then about thinking I am a gambler who loses money; that doesn't rate you well in cases.

As that is the risk, it is better not to mention it but if one has to, and if one has to one can say one isn't losing money and leave it to that but if they ask more, and if reason doesn't go into their heads, one can give up after a couple of tries, as in life generally.

When I hear any criticism (i'm just a rec) i ask them what they know about the game which isn't much. They think it's like roulette. I then explain percentages to them and the amount of degens in the game.

I think it's more about having a profession where you take other people's money without giving any kind of value in return.
That many may see this as 'preying on the weak' (and thus labeling a poker player as morally bankrupt and avoiding them) is sorta understandable.

Many don't get the difference between gambling and applying a skill. Heck, there's plenty at the poker table who can't tell the difference. How would anyone expect non-players to understand this?
The house takes rake - so she's right, too.
You may play poker against other players, but the house is not playing poker against you. The house is playing a different game.

The game the casino plays is: pay us money to use our dealers, venue, toilets etc.

The only way to convince others you can make a living in poker are results. If you fail to convince others and cannot show results even after a number of years then it's more likely their opinion is correct and you're the one being delusional.