Buy her nice things. Emphasize that poker provided you the ability to buy them for you.

Reminds me of time I returned home from 16 hours playing poker at Commerce. GF at the time was confrontational demanding to know where I'd been for 16 hours. I said playing poker. She said "You mean to tell me you played poker for 16 hours and only won $1,000"? Five minutes later she was asking if we were going to one of her fancy restaurants for dinner.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. You also can't bury 'em in the backyard without the dog digging them up.

Doyle Brunson said it best, in his book According to Doyle he said something along the lines of "I give her the same amount of money, win or lose, that way, poker doesn't affect our relationship. Problems on the table stay on the table."

I'm sure he didn't tell his ladies about any downswings.

Surely they would have noticed?

Of course not with all the wads of cash being handed to them lol.

I think it is more psychologically taxing to inform your gf/wife/whoever about downswings, regardless if their end of the swingy income is rock solid...
For example lets say durrrr gives his girlfriend 5k like he does every two weeks, or whatever. He then tells her that he had a 300k downswing. Is she really going to feel that great?


This is the key problem imo. I have never discussed any "downswing" with anybody ever. Although there's not a whole lot of "downswings" in 5cd, it's very low variance, but I think my point is still valid.

How about an update on the situation op?

Wow

I just googled this issue and straight to 2+2....

I have this issue right now in my life. I love poker. It probably takes 80% of my spare time. I was a losing player for a while and lately I have been picking up my game. During holidays and when things go well I kick ass. I do have a day job and my GF is a History and politics student. So you can imagine the type of girl she is. I told her few months ago I made like 5 times my salary in a week. She didn't even care. She doesn't care about about money just educating herself. She is pretty confused about our lives now and she says I need to compromise. And I do. We go out weekly. We cook dinners together and we live together. We get along perfectly when things go well. Just now she hit this depression(second time now). And said she needs time again to think about things. Yes this already happened. She broke up with me for 4 months and came back saying she made a mistake....Sometimes I think I also need my own time and not be around her. When she sees me playing I can tell she hates what I am doing and sometimes its a massive cause of my downswings. Wish woman were understanding. Any advice out there is appreciated.

Cheers

I like this.. but on the same note the g/f should be willing to compromise too.. it's not always the guys job to compromise ladies... my how the times have changed.. hehe... you should also be willing to not make poker your life.. and if you have a fulltime g/f.. aka one that is living with your or spending more then like 5 hours a day with you.. you should be understanding to her needs as well.... she should be fine with you playing 1 to 2 hours a day in my personal opinion and on weekends maybe more.. if your looking to play more then 4+ then i think thats probably selfish as well.. if your looking to make a good relationship with her etc..

personally if you playing poker is a make or break type deal and you do not have a problem with "gambling" like throwing money around and reloading all the time.. theres no reason she should have a problem with it either.. and if she does.. i'd just cut ties now before it gets harder later.. your not gonna want a woman/wife that tries to control your every decision. my wife is rather cool.. we have 2 kids.. but after they are in bed she is totally cool if i play 1 to 2 hours a night... and i work a 7-3 day shift as well... gotta pick your battles.. and your hobbies.. as long as your not an addict should not be a battle as long as you balance it.. if she can't understand that.. i'd move on man.. gl

oh yeah explain to her that any hobby costs money.. (for the most part) ... bowling, golfing.. model airplanes... if poker is something you enjoy its a hobby as well as i consider it.... so theres no harm in it like i said unless u have a problem with putting money up that costs you part of your livelihood... i personlly love to golf as well.. and have a bit of a hobby with rc helicopters.. ( yeah it sounds nerdy.. but you tube... beam heli and watch a few vids... they are sick

Hi Cliff.

Thanks for your answer. I do agree with you that I should take things more slowly with Poker. I do have a bit of an addiction problem. When I lose she can feel it. I tell her that I can't explain losing and winning to her she will not understand it. She asks regularly how my progression is going. But I can see in her eyes that she is not happy with me. I told her I would learn Italian this year which I have not even started trying yet. Cause she is Italian...She says she needs to see me doing things that make her happy. Sometimes I feel she is right. And sometimes more than others I think she is purely selfish.

All these issues cloud my game when I play and I think 50% of my results reflect to our relationship issues. I toold her I will never stop playing and Its a part of me that I need to try and accomplish to try give myself a better life from the finances. Ah woman...Complicated.

Hahahah that beam heli looks like a mosquito. Cool hobby man

dump girlfriend
buy lotion
??????
profit

more sex. good one. good not only for u, but also for her.

money over bitches

I'm gonna quote Hustle & Flow here:

"whoop dat trick"


I think this covers most bases.

just speaking from experience.. if money is your main motivation... it will probably make playing poker harder on you...

Are you dating the OP? Your argument is incredibly one-sided. Sounds more like the OPs GF is saying "do what I want to do, and nothing of what you want to do." What happens when the OP wants to go out with his buddies once a month? Does this happen only if it pleases her majesty?

Relationships are all about give and take, and from the OP, it sounds like this relationship is all give and no take. Trying to change a person, or stopping them from doing something they enjoy doing will only lead to resentment, which of course leads to breaking up. Ultimatums are bad, DUCY?

Logic is sexless.

A real man would ensure his testicles remain firmly between his legs, and not in his significant other's purse. Holding your significant other hostage with sex is incredibly immature, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a person like that.

OP, gtfo quickly, while you still have time. This is not the kind of woman you want to date. A person worth dating would talk to you about their concerns and try to understand why you like playing poker, rather than just tossing out a blanket "stop playing because I said so."

tl;dr Grown ups talk about their problems. You want to date a grownup, not a child.

The biggest problem here is that 90% of all poker players are losers, including most who say they are winners. The girlfriends of these players are going out with losers, but also liars. So it is not unnatural for them to want their bfs to stop the activity that is threatening their future and their security.

Unless you are a true winner, with lots of cash coming in on a regular basis, you should not expect a rational woman to sign on to your addiction. And in fact, grinder-losers should not be dating at all. They are a bad investment and typically bad company also.

maybe it helps you guys if you take POKER out of the equasion

so you have a discussion what you expect of eachother living together and what you want to do together. Both also discuss when you want freetime; to see friends, read, go to yoga, karate, browse the web, watch football, etc.. FREETIME. you can do whatever you want in your freetime.

if she has additional problems when you have agreed on how much freetime HOW you spend your freetime, that would be another discussion but then you have a strong position.

You're just going to have to kiss your sweetie with your fist. Clearly no other choice here.

Maybe it's night time hours at the table away from her that bother her most?

If she's religious give her the Merton quote: "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and to not twist them to fit our own image (or convenience)."