There are no words to describe my degeneracy. If I ever have kids they will be born with a gambling addiction it is for sure. The casinos are begging and praying I have a lot of kids. IM surprised they dont send women to my house that I can have sex with raw dog all the time so I will get them pregnant. An army of my kids would me a casino owners dream.

The feeling I get when I have money and am winning at the casino is almost as good as sex. The euphoria is indescribable. I also really like looking around at all the girls who work there and fantasizing about them. Im an attractive guy and I live this delusional reality where I think they are intrigued by me and want me to **** them. In reality they probably find me a repulsive loser. Or maybe not. Who really knows.

the odds are against you.
everybody knows it
but they keep coming back
really hard to understand

Some people claim that is all fun and entertainment
How can loosing money in a game that is rigged against you be fun?

Gamblers are not as ignorant. If you ask them they all know the odds favor the house.
Is like when smokers read the label of a pack of cigarettes. People smoke anyways.

What sucks of being a degenerate is to really know that you will be broke for the rest of your life. No matter what your income is.

glgl

We think even though the odds are slighly against us that we can still prevail sometimes.

Ive had some good runs. I feel like if I would have stayed disciplined the good runs would have continued.

We think we can prevail.

Some of the games the odds are very slightly in the houses favor. EVen less than 1%. IN some cases an experienced BJ player can even turn the odds in their favor.

Its not the odds that get us. ITs the fact that the house has unlimied funds to play with.

To the degenerate. Funny how your name fits the thread theme so well.
Your posts have taken over the whole conversation. You seem to have conveniently joined in July just as the thread was posted. You seem to have an endless stream of money to lose.
Degenerate, stop trolling us.

Im not trolling buddy. I wish I was. But then if I was I would not have had all the excitement in my life that I have had. But then again I would have not had the endless heartbreak or disappointments either.

Just know that I am an absolutely gargantuan degenerate and I stumbled onto this thread after I registered on this forum.

Degen isn't trolling imo.

His posts give some insight into the degen mind, though perhaps too much info.

I had to re-visit this thread.

Today I was in a family-member house for the first time and I noticed, as everybody else, the computer was on the living room turned for everyone, while he was there from time to time, I noticed that he bets on sports.

And I was there with a cousin that knows I am completely ****ed up and that continues to witness me lighting all my money on fire, literally, all, everything, ok, I get to stay with 20 dollars to live for a full month, but that's closest to having no money than having something...

And he started to tell me "yes that's a good thing to do, to bet on sports, not like you"

And I think I finally made it more clear to him, when I told him, it's the same, he insisted it's not, and I got to reason with him, our family-member has his head on the place where it should be, he is careful, and is not crazy, that's why he, and others make money with the bets they make and that's why his betting doesn't mean anything in reality, other than some change apart from his work.

And that's exactly the same with the people that play what I play, if you have head, you can make money.

And he asked me, so it's you that are not good of your head?

Yep! That's damn right. I am completely ****ed up.

Just imagine someone, spending one full year, 12 months straight, like he's fighting to survive because he's poor, really poor... But in reality he's just living like that, because the tens of thousands he could have if he had saved, he was getting robbed or something like that. But in reality he's not getting robbed, he's giving it away from "free" will, asap, so that he can spend, like if it was a masoquist pleasure he had, to live in misery for 3 or 4 full weeks at a time.

That's me.

The optimism is in the future.

It's gotten to the point that my cousin that is really anti-drugs, and get's crazy about that, not getting crazy about that anymore if it's in regards to me, it's worse for him now, that I tell him he saw me the other day because I was going to make a deposit to play, than if I told him I was going to buy some joints to smoke. And he's really not the kind of person to ever accept that, but he has come to the conclusion i'm much worse with this drug than if I just smoke a joint here and there.

I managed to waste my money in other stupid stuff aswell this month.

But I've made a progress which is after I get my money, I send asap money to my mother and brother, and I pay a debt I have that I am paying in three times, and the next month is the last. But after that, I will have more 7 or 8 months paying another debt I have that I will have to divide in 7 or 8 times because it's big. Because I wanted that money to light it on fire. Now I have to pay. That along with everything I have to pay, it's waiting me 1 year at least to be debt free.

That means I am stuck, I am a prisoner in the country I am emmigrated, because I rather pay everything I have to pay than going to my country visit my mother and brother even if it's for a week, because I will go there with no money to be there, and I don't want to face them again and talk with them face to face about that anymore, I tell them I stopped, and that I am looking into going there... But I am not, I can't go there with no money and they can't know I have debts I have to pay, much less the amount.

And I am already here, and I don't visit them for 1 year now. And I lived with them all my life.

This coming here and writing this and all the other stuff I have written must also be another sort of masoquist/fetish/degenarate/gambler pleasure I have because it pains me to remember and type it, but I keep doing it.

It's the best pain, because it's not really physical, I'm not in pain physically, I am emotionally, inside of me i'm really bad, but whenever I forget about it I am good and happy again, and I live happy, I am full of luck for what I have, so most of the time I am happy, but I don't like physical pain, but to feel something other than the happiness that characterizes me, I get to go in my wallet and make my payment to the dominatrix that will give me pleasure while I feel the pain of spending everything.

It's just another analogy, it doesn't help, because I am like when I was a kid and I only wanted to make **** in the classroom and I didn't care about my future and if I got expelled or failed the school-year, until someone told me, everyone wants to help you succeed, but you also have to want to succeed because if you don't want, you'll never succeed. And I changed.

But here that rational part is in the garbage with the money.

without help from support groups or family degens are on a downward spiral

I apologize to the degenerate, I sort of bluffed and my bluff didn't get through. I had to give it a go. Your posts are just so non chalant it's nothing I've ever come across before. Maybe you fit the classic description and not what I was trying to propose.
Take a good look into your life, what have you done in the past that's so bad and you're trying to punish yourself now?

Thelover, we all come to a point in our lives where we have to go it on our own. . The mother Baer raises her cubs up to a certain age before they inevitably go it on their own. We human beings normally will all eventually leave home and try to make our own lives. You don't have to feel guilty and punish yourself for leaving your mother and brother, you have to live your life. You did nothing wrong.

Yes, I'm thinking about starting to give all my money or close to that to my cousin to keep it, in real money, that's my only alternative, to be away from my money.

We talked about me giving him my credit cards and my internet login machine to my bank account so that I could not have access to it... I agreed to that, but subconsciously I didn't:

I gave him only my internet login machine and one of my credit cards, and I stayed with one card that still allowed to go to the bank and make withdraws, meaning now instead of making the deposits directly thru internet I have to go out to the atm, withdraw money, and then I go get paysafecards.

When I gave him the stuff for him to keep he knew and told me that was not the solution because I was not giving him everything I could still go and get money and make deposits in real life...
To which I ignored, I didn't even argued because I didn't want to talk about it and give him reason, I just tried to pretend it was helping me anyways and tried to fool him and myself by telling him, no it's better you keep this because I can't go on the internet because if I do it goes even more fast, much more fast.

And he doesn't know to this day, that even if I gave him everything, I managed to create a debt with the bank he thinks I'm in, so what I did, so that I didn't need to pay the debt, was to create another bank account in a different bank, so now I have another bank account that I use, so that I don't need to pay the debts with the other bank.

And I did that, I went to create another bank account in a different bank, as soon as I agreed with him I would give him everything from my bank so that I couldn't have access to my money, because I wanted to create a way out of the prohibition I need.

Even after that, I only gave him a little of my access to the old bank.

That's addiction to you.

Now the next month I will withdraw, and give him my money to keep, that's the only way. For me to save money, someone has to keep to it for me, and buy whatever stuff I need with me or something like that, and forbid me to have more money.

The problem will always be I will always be the rightful owner of my money, if I get crazy, I can just tell him to give me all my money or come up with some excuse for him to give to give me more money than what I really need, and then I'm back at it.

I've been thinking about that for a long time, there might be some reasons for me to be the way I am and act the way I act because of something that made act and think like this while I was growing up.

And the thing is I've always been in awe to money in general, and the big numbers, and the "wonder" lives of everybody I've seen that only are like that because of the amount of money they have.

And so I've made stuff like being a dealer in my past just because of the profit it gave me, because of the money, I have been like obsessed with money and having it, lots of it, no matter how... Put a stop on that, because I was raised in a moral,ethic and honest family so I still don't agree with a lot of ways that some people use/create to make their money in dishonest ways and treacherous.

But money has sort of speak louder in a lot of stuff.

I remember a lot of times when I was a kid my grandmother getting really angry at me because I was in awe with some money I got I don't remember how and I was speaking about it like it was the best thing that happened to me, or I was doubting my aunt because she wanted to see what I had and I told her she couldn't like she was going to rob me or something like that I don't remember well...

But I remember my grandmother saying, "ffs, you only think about money, you are crazy about money, you will have big problems in your future because of how you are" and here I am. She hit the jackpot on that, and I was like 10 years old.

I don't blame myself for my family and leaving them, they don't blame me either, but I know they need help, they really need help, they struggle really damn hard, you can't understand only I told you about my mother's life, how much she struggles to put food on the table.

But she gave me everything, the way she is struggling now I didn't had to live like that, I had it all, whatever I wanted, whatever I didn't think I wanted, she give me, I was raised in golden era of my mother's life.

And now it's all ended, my father wanted my mother to abort me, my family father the same, my mother family the same, she was the only one that wanted me alive. I will be in debt with her, her attitude, and character, and education she provided me, for all my life, no matter how much I give to her, it will never repay what she give me.

She tells me all that she needs is that I am good and well, and with her, but I don't agree, because she also needs money to be well, and I want to give it to her, and I want to have money myself, and I want to spend it, however I want, and still have money left. It's ****ing stupid, it's how I behave inside of me, it's how I think, even if I don't want to think like that. It's greedy, it's just plain stupid.

Don't need to tell me the people that achieve their fortunes did it on merit or inheritance and I don't have that possibility and I was lazy to go after it on merit, I know that, I'm putting the reasons and feelings that have driven me to do what I do on the table, not more not less.

And I have the self-awareness to acknowledge my own stupidity.

I believe that alot of people gamble to fill a void in their life, its an easy way to have a stimulating rush in their life for next than nothing. Instead of filling their life with passions and purpose that will leave them alot more mentally stable in the long run they look for a short term quick fix solution.

jackinthebox, precisely.

I have used those exact words to describe why I gamble. "Filling a void".

clean up your diet, invest in neurofeedback , find a passion , keep yourself occupied, once you find things in your life you really care about you wont want to gamble.

Jackinthebox the older I get the worse I have gotten at keeping relationships.

Any one said yet that you sound you come across as poor and uneducated which by your logic makes you a degenerate who gambles as that only way you think ever get rich

Your a idiot with idiot reasons.

lottery is a tax for dumb people
i try to explain people i know that you are better off playing roulette than the lottery and they ask me if i am stupid because the prize of the lottery is bigger

glgl

I remember a gambler who said if he had to quit gambling, he might as well die because that was the only fun he had in life.

So, once again. Many professional psychologists assert that degenerate gamblers are people who have low self esteem and hate themselves. As a result, they want to hurt themselves, and in this case, lose all their money at gambling. I am of the belief that although this might be true for many, that there are also degenerates who simply don't know any better. Not all degenerates are subconsciously losing on purpose. My goal in starting the thread was simply to get other people's points of view.
That the thread morphed into something a little different, well, it is what it is.

As far as being poor and uneducated myself, it is true that I dropped out of college in my second semester and I don't have a job on Wall street. I leave others to judge whether that makes me either poor or uneducated.
P.s. I will admit that I've not been running at the 1/2 tables that spectacular this year. So far, my hourly rate is a meager $6.81
No worries sing sing, I'm not quitting my day job any time soon.

I am of the belief that although this might be true for many, that there are also degenerates who simply don't know any better. > Nah. You don't have to be a genius to know when you are hurting yourself, or to know that you are under-rolled, etc.

Is like smoking cigarettes in the 60's. There where no studies, but people knew it couldn't possibly be any good (or harmless).

glgl

The monks go without which is all good if you live in a poor countries

Way I see it we were lucky to be born into a country were every comes easy so why not self indulgence? Seems like a sin if you went without ? What reason is there to limet yourself when you can have your cake and eat it

Only get one go at it , is it really correct to work loads and get old and only have old age to enjoy free time

When your old the fun has been sucked out of you by the grind of life

We are simply lucky to be born on the wealthiest side of the world and I think you should do as much stuff as you can when you can before it comes were you think should done more sex drugs and rock and roll.

That's the same in my case, to take the meaning of that a little further, I only see myself quitting by dying, killing myself.

I don't think I will ever kill myself tho, because the only way I see myself doing it is with a shot to my head, and as I am living in Europe and I don't have connections and proper cause of owning a gun, I will never have access to one, and that's the only reason i'm still here, and that's why it's good i'm not in America or some place like that where is easier to get a gun than to get food.

Well, actually it's really strange, because I really feel like I would like to kill myself and end everything, this cycle of destroying my money and getting in more and more debt each month, literally throwing loads of money in the garbage month over month, really makes me want to kill myself, but then again, I also really want to be alive, so it's reaaaaaally confusing to me, wheter I really want or not to be dead and end this cycle, because I think I have somewhat of a hope, but it's not really hope, I really can't explain it, that's probably because I'm a mess.

Good thing about being degenerative is you aren't degenerative when you win..........