I have been playing HUSNGs for a while now and making for myself a small income which I'm mostly happy with, in general I enjoy the game and manage the "tilt" aspects of it pretty well with one noticeable exception.

I can't make myself not rematch a player I actually just can't do it. Okay, occasionally I might do it but it takes a lot out of me and most of the time I fail. I suppose it comes down to myself in general often getting unhealthily competitive in life against my better judgement. In poker I just want to always battle everyone, to always accept a rematch to "show" them that I think I can beat them and that I am better than them, whether that is actually the case or not.

If I managed to actually make myself decline players I would obviously be able to find more profitable opponents, I would be able to follow my BRM properly and drop down a limit when it dictates it which would make life considerably easier for me.

I'm aware this thread looks stupid but I'm just genuinely desperate for ideas about what I could do to change my thinking I told myself plenty of times "It's not that hard, just ****ing do it, create a habit and it will get easier" but I never seem to be able to stick to it. If there is any reading you could point me to, or any kind of advice you could give me that might help me fix my messed up psyche I would very much appreciate it.

Your psyche sounds pretty normal. The Power of Habit is supposed to be pretty good.

Start holding your thought->action responsible; no more self lies. Take pride in mastering your mind.

I like what you said

Filter your results by whether they are rematches or not. This will tell you how big a leak it is and might encourage you to click no.

Or set a goal to decline ten rematches this session? Or only allow yourself three rematches this session so you have to think "Is it worth playing this guy again?"