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Old 10-07-2010, 05:27 PM   #1
DonLigretto
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Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

Hi

I've been at this point quite often...I've probably lost quite some money playing poker. Each time I quit, I'll take a break and deposit after this break (usually some days) about 200$ online, run it up to about 1000$ quite quickly (not a conservative BR management, however always playing with like 50 buyins, so I usually start with 4.40$ at Stars). Then I cash out some, move up in limits and take small shots and can't stop losing. So in the end I end up mostly break even or like -200$ before going on a break.
As a guy said in another thread, I can't stop thinking about poker. If I win, I want to play more and win more money. If I lose,I want to play more and win everything back. I cancel stuff with friends (or even with my gf) so I can play more. It's sick. I'd just love to become one of the big earners...some weeks ago I've met one of the most successful online pros in our country and while I was there he just won in a donkament 200k. This was so tilting, for him it's so easy and I never have success.

But Poker eats me up. I don't sleep enough, I eat unhealthy, I cancel stuff with friends as said, I don't workout and I'm even not looking forward to my absolute dreamjob I'm gonna start in 3 months. I've worked my whole life (I'm 26 right now) for that and I can't stop thinking about Poker. I would never quit this job though, however I'd love to earn a ton with tournament poker next to it. Just the imagination of sitting at home, drinking a coffee and just winning 200k in some hours is just the nuts...
How can I stop? Or is it even worth it to stop? Because when I want to quit I always think how easily I run it up in the beginning, so I must be beating the game. Just this week I finished like 3 times in the top 30 of a 7k player donkament (but buyins only like 2-5$ though..), busting out in a coinflip or even slight favorite and usually for a pot for 3rd-5th place at that moment. But even so, is it worth it? Because I cannot control myself.

But I've always dreamed of becoming someone very successful (and I quite am jobwise, but I would also love to be financially..) and Poker seems so easy if you watch some guys online...


This week however I've lost again the whole 1.1k I've won during the past week, got scammed by a guy for my like last 50 bucks and now I'm sitting here while I didn't want to see my gf tonight so I can play poker.
And the worst is my parents and family are in such a desperate need of money right now..I earn enough in my current 9-5 job to get me through however not them of course...if I'd ever won such a big big donkament the first thing would have been to support them with money.

And now I don't know if I should stop or if I should restart the same procedure again, over and over again...
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Old 10-07-2010, 07:33 PM   #2
alexd11
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

Sounds like the pressure you're putting on yourself is enormous. In these huge field MTT's even with a decent edge over the short term doing well is pretty much luck because of the massive amount of variance.

If I were you I'd try and play within my bankroll, take regular shots if you must but don't be putting yourself within arms distance of going busto. If you manage to sustain good brm it will help you in other area's of your game and you will see more success but this dream of hitting "the big score" is equivlent to just playing the lotto atm.

I'd reccomend writting down some goals on what you'd like to achieve in the game and trying to realistically work out how would be best to go about hitting them.

If you're diligent in other area's of your life then try and be the same way with poker and see where it gets you.

ATB.
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Old 10-07-2010, 09:21 PM   #3
trixtrix
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

kill your friends and break up w/ your gf, no distractions
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:48 AM   #4
n0nplussed
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexd11 View Post
Sounds like the pressure you're putting on yourself is enormous. In these huge field MTT's even with a decent edge over the short term doing well is pretty much luck because of the massive amount of variance.

If I were you I'd try and play within my bankroll, take regular shots if you must but don't be putting yourself within arms distance of going busto. If you manage to sustain good brm it will help you in other area's of your game and you will see more success but this dream of hitting "the big score" is equivlent to just playing the lotto atm.

ATB.
This. Also, I'm a big fan of Jennifear's BR management guidelines. They might seem a little constraining at first, but it's a great reference point and, played within them, certainly minimize any risk-of-ruin.

Regarding the donkaments, for every 10 successful poker players who've "made it big", 1 has done it through a big score, and the other 9 have grinded their BRs up through hard work and good BR management. So don't get discouraged if you see someone get lucky. It's not the only way to make money in poker.

That said, self ban exists for a reason. Never a bad idea to step away for a bit when your BR takes a dip.
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Old 10-08-2010, 06:36 AM   #5
Monaguillo09
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

I can relate to this post in many ways actually...

The desire of easy money is always in our minds. Although, if easy money is what you're looking for, there are WAAAY better ways to achieve it.

Good luck, grind on the mind.
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:08 AM   #6
LetsSeeThree
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

One thing you should know is that even when you hit that big score, the satisfaction and stability it brings will be short-lived. It sounds ridiculous saying that now, because of course you have a goal to which you are striving; to be able to live comfortably and to solve your family's financial worries. I began playing poker for the same two reasons, or at least I thought I did, and used them both as a strong motivator to learn, and become better.

However you come to realize that after all the patience, the learning, and eventually the beating of the game for some big scores, you still wish you had more. "...as much as that guy! Wow look at his stats, he must be far happier than me. I guess I'll have to get serious about this game, put in some more volume and I'll eventually be him". In this fashion it becomes a dedication, and one that cannot go hand-in-hand with a stable 9-5.

None of this.. the competition, the money, the respect, is worth the emphasis and disillusionment we subscibe it. You have a stable job, don't jeopardise it in any way with poker. It should remain a comfortably affordable hobby which may eventually result in some nice supplementary paydays, rather than one which makes you worry about how long it is til your next payday. Focussing on stability, relationships and family life is the most important thing at the end of the day, and poker will satisfy none of these long-term.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:14 AM   #7
9monthsOMG
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

Sounds you like when you first deposit and get that rush of sitting again you have the best of intentions, with keeping 50 BI's etc... but you win a little and then it's like a game show and your trying to grab cash quick and all good BR management or even relatively good BR Mg. goes out the window.

You need to regroup yourself while playing, balance your life and focus on what's important both on and off the table. If a "big score" is your goal/hope, try playing some small satellites for the bigger events mixed in with your regular MTT's that allow for some semi-conservative BR management still. Then if you win a seat maybe you can parlay that into a big score, but if not you haven't blown big buy-in money.

GL
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Old 10-08-2010, 11:45 AM   #8
Dudesome
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

br management is the key to dealing with this. been there done that dealt with it.
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:19 PM   #9
DonLigretto
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

thanks for all your good advice. you are so right in so many points. However even if I keep up the good BR management I seriously ALWAYS think about poker...if I don't have to work one particular day and I wake up at 5 am I get instantly up and play Poker..how can I get rid of that? Not in a tilting way..even in the beginning when I grind with a safe BR...
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:27 PM   #10
deluz35
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Re: Can't stop playing, how could I do it?

the best way to give up an addiction is to have a zero tolerance policy with yourself. just don't play a single hand of poker for 3 months. you can live without it, and an extended break will hopefully break the obsession. you can the fill resulting mental void by reading books, learning new things, taking a class, problem solving, puzzles, video games, etc. you can fill the competitive void by playing organized sports like basketball or tennis or whatever. there are plenty of outlets that can address the personal needs that poker presently satisfies.

you might be obsessed with poker because it is a puzzle you are trying to solve. or it could be a fantasy way out. either way, you have to accept that you probably aren't good enough to beat the game in a substantial way. you are competing against players who have dedicated their life to beating the game. players who have studied harder and practiced way more than you can. if you are trying to win the poker lottery, you are probably better off treating it as such, playing low buyin satellites to higher buyin MTTs and restrict yourself to that. you may be able to luckbox your way to a big score ala Darvin Moon or Jerry Yang. but again, you must accept that it probably won't happen and give up on any attachment to the outcome. it's not impossible, just highly improbable
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