''WHEN I LOSE:
I am miserable. I feel stupid and dumb. I feel depressed and hopeless. I want to numb my pain and sometimes use drugs, alcohol, sex, or food to feel better. Of course these things only make it worse.'' > Think we all been there done that.
I assume you are a winner that plays poker full time.
That's what playing poker fulltime is all about brah: Endless pain and frustration.
But it gives you $$$
And yeah loosing doesn't affect me nearly as much when i loose due to mistakes. Happens to everyone, is part of the learning process.
'' I want to die. I hate myself and my life. I hate poker, casinos, and everyone I come into contact with. '' > IDK about this. I just hate myself for a short period of time when i make a mistake. Don't hate anything or anyone else but me.
''People constantly say I am being too hard on myself.''> And they are right.
''I feel I have no idea what my purpose in life is.'' > People's life pupses change as life changes and advances.
I once truly believed that poker was the purpose of my life. At this point of my life i play poker once every other week, and it is a short session.
Right know idk what the purpose of my life is but i know that right now is not poker.
Is prolly getting in the best shape of my life. So i can be the best BKB player i can be.
check this website out it might help you.
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/6-powerf...-life-forever/
It helped me on discovering that poker is not the purpose of my life.
glgl