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Old 09-26-2016, 10:31 PM   #26
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Hello psychology forum.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob148 View Post
2k posts and about a year later, things are going well. I'm always looking for more exposure and the possibility of helping people. If this post hits home for you, then I strongly suggest that you seek professional help. It can change your life.
Quoted for emphasis.

I've passed a few milestones. Another year has passed without having to check myself into a hospital. Another thousand posts have been made by yours truly since the last update, and another year has passed since my last update. No news is good news I suppose.

I also invited some friends to check out this thread. Hello friends. Don't know where I'd be without you folks. Probably broke in a gutter somewhere.

Thanks for reading.
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Old 09-22-2017, 12:59 PM   #27
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Another 1k posts; another year without having to go to the hospital. I still get a bit misty when I read this op. It wasn't easy to click the "submit post" button, but I did it and haven't had the least bit of regret because of it.

8.6k yo!
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Old 10-05-2017, 10:40 AM   #28
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but I feel like I have something to say about what has happened in the past week. Perhaps there is a better platform for this, but I really love this community. Much love. <3

I'm sad because of the recent shooting in Vegas. It's absolutely disgusting to me. I wish there was something that I could have done, or could do in the future, to prevent such atrocities.

In my Facebook browsing, I came across a link that hit home for me. I clicked and it brought me to an organization that seems to be currently in the beginning stages of formation. It's a bunch of cops, psychologists, and community members that have joined forces with one goal: to prevent the next mass shooting.

I contacted the guy that provided the link just last night, with no response yet. Here's a clip of my comment:

Quote:
I like to consider myself a mental health activist of sorts and I would be a poser if I didn't ask you about this. Do you think that it's possible to prevent mass shootings without infringing on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? How do we get there?
Questions or comments are always welcome as usual.

Thanks for reading.
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Old 10-06-2017, 09:10 AM   #29
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Quote:
I contacted the guy that provided the link just last night,
Still no response from the guy, but I decided to go above his head and I contacted ATAP, which stands for American Threat Assessment and Prevention. I called the California phone number, left a brief message, and they called me back within an hour. They gave me the phone number and email of a doctor that is the head of their New England chapter. I called him and left a message. No response for a while. Then I sent him an email and he got back to me within an hour. His first response was something like "sorry but we don't need your help." So I said this:

Quote:
Thanks for the response, but I'll admit that I'm sad that I can't help. I feel a deep connection with people suffering from mental illness as I'm a recovered paranoid schizophrenic man of 37 years. As such, I consider myself an expert at actually living with, experiencing, and dealing with psychotic thoughts and behavior. If you ever need my help, I'll be there.
Then he responded a few minutes later:

Quote:
Might you want to come speak at one of our ATAP New England chapter meetings to talk about your experience with the illness? The majority of ATAP members are not mental health professionals, and it could be very informative to many members.
I said that I think it's a great idea and that I would love to.

So now I gotta write a speech. Paranoia levels are a bit high for me at the moment relative to recent years, but it's really nothing compared to the high paranoia levels that I experienced between 1999 and 2010.
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Old 10-07-2017, 07:15 AM   #30
m869er
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

i got schizophenia. i like poker/
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:03 AM   #31
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

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Originally Posted by m869er View Post
i got schizophenia. i like poker/
Hey welcome to 2+2. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:15 AM   #32
m869er
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

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Originally Posted by Bob148 View Post
Hey welcome to 2+2. Thanks for sharing.
do you work fulltime while on medication?
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:31 AM   #33
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

I used to work 20-30 hours a week but my boss, a great guy to work for, he had a heart attack and they let the two of us go. I've been unable to find a steady job that is accepting of my issues. So now I just take odd jobs when given the opportunity.
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Old 10-07-2017, 09:59 AM   #34
m869er
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob148 View Post
I used to work 20-30 hours a week but my boss, a great guy to work for, he had a heart attack and they let the two of us go. I've been unable to find a steady job that is accepting of my issues. So now I just take odd jobs when given the opportunity.
what are your goals with poker?
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Old 10-07-2017, 10:01 AM   #35
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

It's just a hobby that pays me back.
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Old 10-19-2017, 02:11 PM   #36
Singasong2222
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob148 View Post
Much has been said lately about mental illness. One thing's for sure: we have at least one sick member of our community. I figure there must be more. To our sick members and lurkers, I say this: REFUSE TO LIVE IN FEAR! This is easier said than done for some. I know this fact all too well.

This thread is intended to be more than a self indulgent rant, and more than a coming out party for the mentally ill. Sickness touches every one of us at some point in our lives. I'm not a doctor. I can't cure you, but if I can help just one of you a little bit, then my goal will be accomplished.

You might be thinking, "But Bob, what does this have to do with poker?" Truth is: not much, but we have a little community here. We should work to build a stronger community. There have been times in my life that I wouldn't even have considered sitting down at a poker table. At those times I found it difficult to eat, sleep, go to the store, use a phone, etc. Now, thanks to medication, experience, willful ignorance, and the support of great family and friends, I can play this great game that we gather here to discuss and study. Unfortunately, many sick people are left out in the cold, literally and figuratively. I feel that the rash of shootings this past year has worsened the social stigma associated with mental illness. This is the time when it's most important for us to stand up against this stigma. We should be educating the public, instead of hiding the truth.

I realize that I might be burning some bridges here. Truth is that many, or most, of you wouldn't associate with me in real life. I don't blame you. I've been told before that I'm "clearly throwing the net out of the wrong side of the boat." Did it hurt my feelings? Meh. What that poster did for me was that he made me realize that even a joking post can influence the way others perceive me. We're not just talking poker here, but building relationships and communities. Let's just say that I've learned the hard way how not to post. You new guys paying attention?

Rewind to 1998:

I had been doing some soul searching over the previous few years. I studied Catholicism, Taoism, and a few others, but I couldn't find one that fit. I didn't believe in God anymore. I turned to science. I found quantum theory interesting and read more than a couple books about it.

I started college in the fall. My grades sucked. I didn't take it seriously. I dropped out. Then in the winter I did some experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs. This, coupled with a failing grip on reality, no thanks to quantum theory, led to early onset schizophrenia.

"Then they sent me away, taught me how to be sensible, logical....."

The hospital was uneventful, except for this one guy. He got hold of a lighter and lit his bed on fire while I was in the shower. I came out to the hallway, wearing nothing but scrub pants, to find it full of smoke and firemen. I held my breath and walked through the smoke to the community room where everyone looked at me like they had seen a ghost. When you're the schizo in the psych ward, you're the one that everyone's afraid of.

I was young and dumb and I told the doctors what they wanted to hear, instead of the truth. I left the hospital unmedicated, but stable.

The next twelve years were tough, but I managed to ignore the paranoid thoughts and hallucinations.

"The smell of hospitals in winter"

Now it was 2010, Christmas was approaching and I was dating a hot 22 year old. To make a long story short(too late I know), I thought that she and her friends were out to get me, one way or another. I came clean with my family. I told them about my paranoia and hallucinations. I told them that I never recovered from my psychotic breakdown in 99. A few days later I was back in the hospital.

I had matured a lot since my last trip to the psych ward. I took it seriously. I was honest with the doctors. They put me on medication. After my ten days were up, I requested discharge. They let me go. When I got out, Christmas and New Year's had passed. It was 2011.

The last two years have been the best of my life. I take my medication. I play poker. I've held a job ever since. I'm in love.

Well I hope this reaches someone, somewhere, in the way that I intend. Learn from my mistakes! Doctors are there to help you. Let them help you. You have a life to live.

Questions or comments are always welcome.
Well done but how does your story help others? Basically you went into hospital and got meditation? You give 0 advice or any tips on what helped you get though your hard times.
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Old 10-19-2017, 02:14 PM   #37
Singasong2222
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Quote:
Originally Posted by m869er View Post
i got schizophenia. i like poker/
^^^^cliffs
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Old 10-19-2017, 04:26 PM   #38
Bob148
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Re: 600th They Call Me Mad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Singasong2222 View Post
Well done but how does your story help others?
By being open about it, we open ourselves to a different life. A life that allows us to seek help when we need it and one that allows us to be honest with everyone.

Quote:
Basically you went into hospital and got meditation?
The real story is much longer than I could fit into a post.
Quote:
You give 0 advice or any tips on what helped you get though your hard times.
Nobody has yet asked this question, but I'll go for it now:

There are no "tips" that can prepare you for dealing with psychotic thoughts and behavior. I don't know what works for others and I'm not a doctor. That's why I can't prescribe any tips.

All I know is that if it wasn't for my friends and family being there for me throughout my life, I'd probably be dead by now.
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