just because they have "threads on here" about how sketchy they are doesnt actually mean they're sketchy.

Global Poker is by law a sweepstakes. If you purchase gold coins to play their play money poker, they give you entries to their sweepstakes for free. These sweepstakes entries are what is known as $weeps Cash. The moment they give you $weeps Cash, it has no cash value. They are only sweepstakes entries. You can use those entries to win money, then cash it out, but until you enter the sweepstakes they can't legally give you "winnings" because you havent won anything.

I empathize with you and agree that it sucks, but their entire business model is built on this principle.

Pretty standard imo. A charge went through accidentally and he didn't want it to so technically he didn't authorize it. A case could be made for both sides.

FWIW, I don't think their sketchy in any of their dealings, processing payouts/refunds, etc.. (aside from this 100% playthrough, which happens to be the problem for the OP as well, now that his money is on there..if it still is). I do think there are legitimate concerns over their long term stability in a US legal environment which has ruled against their model before - Washington has already moved on this.

Also, just because there are "threads on here" about how sketchy they are doesn't mean that they're not sketchy either.

I understand the principle on which their business is operating. Bear with me for this point. You say that they only pay out if there are, "winnings," because if there weren't winnings then they wouldn't be able to payout, but this isn't true. Even if you don't win any of the sweepstakes you can still receive a payout if you have played an equal amount to your deposits. So you can lose 49 buyins (assuming you start with 50 at your buyin level) but have broke even on 1 and still be able to cash out. That is not winning any sweepstakes. That merely meets the criteria for the sweepstakes model.

Which, btw, is not a novel concept.

As far as ToS are concerned, this is all I have to say about that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ23kosLFec

Can't they just refund his gold coin purchase?

First, for all purposes of this argument it must be explained that legally, each tournament is it's own sweepstakes, and each hand in a cash game is its own sweepstakes.
So assuming you are talking about tournaments. Yes, you can lose 49 consecutive buy ins, then win 50 on your last buy in. While technically, this "breaking even" in our terms, legally this would be seen as winning since you entered the sweepstakes and won 50x the entry.
Since you have entered the sweepstakes and "won" you can then cash out. Same holds tru if you do the same and only win 25x your buy in. You could still then cash out because what is left in your account is officially "winnings" and not "sweepstakes entries". I'm a bit drunk so i hope this makes some sense lol

I may be wrong, but I believe they have a no refund policy on Gold Coin purchses in their ToS

Not to be a dick but i did extensive research even after Joey Ingram shouted the site out. Also my deposit was 100 dollars. How can you deposit 5k and not know what might happen to your money. I feel bad for OP but also think he was a complete idiot.

I also think he is completely full of **** and didn't realize his mistake until after he deposited the money. Global Poker is in the right here.