(I will never read a reply)

Just for my own entertainment I'll name a FEW of the hands today I've seen today at a 1 table. ONE TABLE LOL! No blaming volume or variance for this bullcrap.

8 full houses. 18 straights. 12 flushes.

Run a pair into a pair with exactly one higher number kicker than me, 4 times.

Flopped a straight, 4x.

Quads- 3x Flopped Quads myself once

Board with 3x single suit + 4 to a straight = 8 times! The chance of this is insanely low.

Flops missed: 96% total missed after running up 5 buyins.

Most flops missed in a row: 28.
Most flush draws missed in a row- 16
Most straight draws missed in a row- 22
Longest period of time without receiving a Premium Hand (TT+) : 177

Percentage of time a high card dropped on the river and they had it, 87%


Again, this is exactly why they disable hand history. Every single session I play is like this. They do not count on anyone sitting down and recording the volume. There's no way a donkey would continue to play on their site once they find out their biggest losing hands are TT+ and biggest winners are trashhands.

Sweepstakes Poker, not real poker.

Note: I have found out that while you are completely card dead, do not raise any hands like AQ, KQs, etc. Every single flop will end up being two runner runners. Although I suppose this doesn't matter. Once you are doomswitched after running up 5-6x buyin, you will steadily lose all your stacks no matter how much damage control you do.

I wouldn't be surprised to find out in the future that half the players are housebots whose holecards simply can be anything until they turn them over. This actually makes a lot of sense, because every time there is a runner runner, which is supposed to be super rare yet happens ~87% of the time on the river on Global Poker- it's not just the fact it's the runner runner, it's the fact they always have the hand that connects to the runner runner exactly. The chances of this happening repeatedly are STAGGERING to none. Basically zero percent.

Flop a two pair with Ace King and WATCH that board runner runner a 4 card straight. Miss 16 flush draws in a row even though that's mathematically impossible.
Watch the maniac fish raising any two pair get handicapped with a 2 pair on river even though your bet sizes were perfect and he's already hit 5 runner runners in a row vs you within 15 minutes. Mathematical impossibiltiies.
Watch the housebot who has been online for 96 hours straight magically reraise you with the bottom of even a fishes range and magically know you don't have anything and call down the river.

Again, I'm a professional live player who has been doing this for 10+ years. The mathematical chances of even a single thing I listed here is literally impossible. The fact even a couple of them is happening is beyond mathematics. Yes, I'm sure I'm receiving percentage chances of board textures and hole card positions that are trillionths of a percentage regularly. 'variance'.

I will never read a reply)

Just for my own entertainment I'll name a FEW of the hands today I've seen today at a 1 table. ONE TABLE LOL! No blaming volume or variance for this bullcrap.

8 full houses. 18 straights. 12 flushes.

Run a pair into a pair with exactly one higher number kicker than me, 4 times.

Flopped a straight, 4x.

<snip>

Someone should tell their Australian parent company!! Alert the stockholders!!!

"Global Poker is an Australia-based online poker site that opened in February 2016. It is owned by VGW Holdings, which also operates Chumba Casino, an online social casino. VGW holds class 1 and class 3 licenses from the Malta Gaming Authority.[1] For the quarter that ended Sept. 30, 2017, Global Poker produced revenues of $33.7 million.[2]"

https://poker.fandom.com/wiki/Global_Poker

my favorite that ive been noticing a lot lately at the cash tables, is flopping a set, on a monotone board they always have flopped the flush or the magical flopped straight. so youre always praying for the board to pair cause you know youre dead unless that happens

flopping 2 pair and villain having flopped a set happens a lot, example from last night, had AKo flop comes AK7 villain stacks off with 77, had j10s flopped j104 set of 4s.


i gett this **** happens even in live, but i feel like the setups that ive been seeing are outliers when it comes to the probability of it happening, im not one to hop oon the band wagon of rigged etc etc as that is what fish do, HOWEVER global does kinda rub me the wrong way as they do not have hand histories available, and even when you get to showdown you dont get to see villains hand etc. lots of these issues would be solved completely with hand histories being available for download etc.


i wish i was better with math and statistics, and could run some of these spots in sims as opposed to how often they are happening on other sites, like ACR. i just dont see it as much on ACR, or im paying more attention to global now that ive begun reading some of these threads that are starting to make me a believer.

The site also does such obvious fish protection. Fish are their biggest contributors by far.... and sharks are the least. In fact, they do not want sharks. Which explains why someone with 18% hands played who openly adjusts their ranges based on the full table ranges gets punished. Why would a Poker site want someone like me edging fish off and winning 90% of hands vs them while not depositing, while if they allow the fish to win more hands... the fish stay on the site depositing tens of thousands long term.

If anyone thinks a group of shareholders and executives got together in a room and said "well, we are located in a part of the world that can't be legally prosecuted for rigging gambling or cheating, and if we do a few adjustments we make 200% more profit longterm, BUT it screws over some people we don't care about. Yes, let's not make 200% more profits."

A perfect example of fish babysitting is a couple hands I just had targeting a fish at my table. I have Kings, I do a typical raise and he calls with his wide range of Ace rags and anything. Flop comes out with two running cards and an Ace. Now, his range is so wide that immediately after seeing those cards I knew he had something connected, either the straight draw or the Ace.

A moment later a new guy joins the table, allins the fish with AKo on the flop and stacks him. He calls with a pair of 3's and loses his entire stack after a pretty obvious King allin flop. Key notes here are, the super aggressive fish gambler gets a dry King flop and I get two of the wettest flops ever seen before in history. Vs me however, they babysit him because I'm not a depositor. Because of this, they are handicapping total fish with names like "LuisBrazil103".

Eventually part of the pattern goes as such. You get to a point where the system actively tries to tilt you. Got AJs? They got AQs. Every single flop misses. The chance you hit something and even minraise results in an almost immediate overraise. You can't call because this is Global, and they aren't even bluffing. They just have it. Eventually you realize it's been 4 hours since you even won a hand.

Eventually they just try to bait you to toss your stack. You just flopped a set of Aces. You know not to even bother raising since the board is already flushed. Then it happens. Ace Jack 7 board becomes Ace Jack 7 King Queen. Then that big bet comes in from the guy who only called you. You make the right choice and fold, another guy calls and he has the flush vs the straight.

You start shaking your head. "5 hours of this now, I'm impressed I even have a few buyins left". That's where I'm at today. Because I dodged so many of these supercoolers that are designed to lead to a deposit, they are giving me nothing but trash hands, and when I hit a marginal hand with KQs, or hit a pair of 6's, the opponent has had exactly 1 card over me 3x in a row.

Again, it doesn't matter how you play your hands during this period of time, you will not connect to a flop you can make a dime on.

I will say, this has actually helped me considerably in other aspects of my life. The amount of patience and willpower needed to fold for 5 hours straight is akin to being a LITERAL Saint of Jesus. As for Poker, this is a complete joke. Again, same exact routine every time I have a minimum balance on my account. 5-6x buyin, card dead for 4 hours filled with cooler after cooler. Fold every hand and wait for premiums? Here's your premium and everyone folded because the algorithm gave them all easy to fold trash. Enter a hand with any K-X or A-X and you will be dominated by 1 card level every time. Do not even bother raising at this point, just limp even Aces because the system will give everyone trash hands that they fold.

However, it doesn't matter how you play hands at this point in the algorithm, you will miss every single draw, be dominated by 1 card, run Kings into Aces or a set, etc.

Somehow I'm still at 3.5 buyins after dodging 14 coolers in a row. This is the best I have ever done during the doomswitch period. The hilarious thing is I'm outposted on a table with FOUR FISH, and the equation effects the hands even more to protect them.

You can try to change tables, take a break, etc, when you come back the equation will be in full effect. And you can even see the new players who deposited getting their runner runners joining the table. Some name I've never seen before, a new player, joined the table. Within 3 minutes he tripled up with runner runner gutshots. The odds of not having a playable hand for 5 hours, which is probably around 500+ hands, is mathematically impossible. A one in trillions type percentage. The funny thing is, I've found ways to get into the flops, but 0% are hitting during this time. However, the system does tease you with gutshots galore. They figure at this point in the algorithm you will be so desperate for a dopamine hit that you just chase gutshots.

As I say this, the last hand at the table before leaving I was dealt pocket Aces in the earliest position. We all know how this goes. You get zero action. I can tangibly feel that I'm not going to make a penny off these Aces. Then I see the folds. Every single player folds. I actually had to F-CKING LIMP ACES because of this dead period. Big blind is instantly scared off by a 3 straight flop with 2 suited. If he had any pair he would drop it instantly. I waited 5 hours for this hand and made 1.5x blinds.

I will say that I'm proud of myself. Global Poker is literal torture. If heaven exists, I will receive a free spot no matter what I do in my life from now on, based on the patience I've shown here. Even H1tler deserves better than this algorithm, it's simply not humane. The worst part of the algorithm is it just continues until you're broke. One day this was happening I just played it on my tablet while doing a home workout and then working and watching TV. I was literally folding ALL DAY. I'm talking 10 hours of folding hands. Absolutely bonkers. I wish I was making this stuff up because I'd really enjoy playing legit poker online.

Just joined another table after logging out and logging back in. Three immediate super coolers happen.

I flop a straight and it becomes a 2 runner flush pot with 3 people. I make the disciplined fold and he has the flush. 5% chance of double running suit, 5% chance of him even having flush cards.

Very next hand I play, I flop a King on the big blind vs the small blind. I know he doesn't have a high king kicker hand since he would've likely bet me from preflop. However, something doesn't feel right. Turn comes Jack, River 9. There's an 8 on the flop which gives me two pair. "These cards aren't random, they are doing something for exactly the hand he has since this is a fish". He does a minimum value bet, I have a high two pair so naturally I call, also I wanted to confirm it. Yep, he randomly has 10-7o for the nuts straight, on the small blind, vs my two pair flop. A hand like this isn't impossible, but a double gutshot runner? That's something else.

It's just odd when they have the exact hand that matches the two exact runners over and over. These are hands you see once in a few thousand hands in live poker, online you see them every other showdown. It's not a situation where you're like "well those two cards runner runnered BUT there's a pretty decent chance he doesn't have that exact hand, so I'm betting. If it's there and you're in the card dead part of the algorithm after going up 5-6x buyin, they will always have that runner runner connected hand.

A few hands later I'm Big Blind and I have K-Xs. I flop two pair. I already know not to even bother betting on it. Runner Runner straight and flush and both players end up having it again. Action pot!

They do this interesting thing to eventually try to get you to stack yourself: They will give you several flush draws WITH an open ended straight draw on the flop, trying to entice you to bet on it or call. But it's a giant trap. You won't hit anything so do not even pretend to bet on it. I believe the odds for hitting these hands is like 62%, so they know most sharks will bet heavily on them in the right spots. But it's all just a ruse to get one of your last buyins.

Btw as I write this, 6 hours of being card dead and losing every single hand. "Definitely not a rigged site"

damn bro 6 hours of being card dead?! youve got some serious patience my friend. not any playable hands that entire time? damn sick run

Guaranteed 10,000 word stream of consciousness incoming.

im trying to force it out of him, some of his posts are so awesome i cant believe they arent just a massive troll

They finally got me down to a 1 buyin with a 0.0002% chance of happening ultra cooler vs a fish.

Then they immediately attempt to hand me another cooler at my next table. K9S and pair of kings and I pair the 9 on the turn vs weak pairings. The donkey raises his obvious 9 pair. Guess which card gets rivered. Ace. I check and then fold to his next giant oversized pot raise. The other fish at the table was shortstacked so he didn't have much to lose by calling, thankfully. Ace-9. I was about to lose a stack by a 1 card domination again. Luckily only lost like 1/5th of a buyin. Absolutely astronomical chances here of me having 2 pair King and 9 and the river giving his Ace nine the pair.

Full Houses I've had in the last 24 hours, 0. Hands where opponents have made a full house in the last 24 hours, Sixteen that I even know of. Could be a lot more.

Amount of 1 in over 100,000 odds coolers I've had in the last 24 hours. Seven.
Amount of 1 in over 100,000 odds coolers I've given to another player. Zero.

I've hit a couple fairly obvious flush draws right before being forced to donate it to a fish by flopping a nuts straight vs a 1 outter full house on river.

Tell me again how these sites don't make money from deposits? Oh, that's right. Literal nonsense.

"Why would a corporate gambling site want to make more money than they already are". Ahem.. Poker Black Friday, PokerBros, FullTilt, GGPoker, Ultimate Bet, 888, all poker sites that scammed even though they were making tens of millions of dollars. Yes, but a site that purposely hides and deletes your hand history and is unregulated would surely never want to make profits. They created this global poker site because they wanted you to feel good and be able to hunt fish! That makes sense! I love my corporate overlords!

You keeping saying '1 buy in', but don't specify what that is. $1k? $10?

Btw, your posts are my favorite at this time. A+ reads.

Also, why not try sngs or mtts? You figured out that cash games are clearly rigged against you, maybe sngs will be rigged for you? Tons of global sng winners on this site, even in this thread.

excellent post, i agree as well with you that his posts are by far my favorite i have come across....and he doesnt read replies can you believe it?!?!

i feel like bro is under meth pyschosis or something, because nobody in their right mind is going to ramble on and on and on about the same **** that he does every few hours.

he must be a mathematician as well, because he stays quoting probabilities and odds etc.

im just curious what his screenname on global is if we have played against each other on the cash game streets. id LOVE to play him headsup he would certainly tell me i cheat.


and yo whats up with people i play against continuously calling me a "house account" or that i work for global, people are funny as fk i havent heard that one before.

No lawyer said any of that. This site does not need to rig anything to make money and nor does any casino. Poker is a very very very small portion of their profit. Just like another casino. They make all their money from slots and casino table games. Part of then being legal required them give out sweeps for free. That's how the sweepstakes structure works. Just like any sweepstakes you must be required to enter it for free. This site is one of the biggest and if one of their lawyers actually said this it would be on ever poker news site there is and on all the podcasts and YouTube channels. People just don't understand how variance works in these online games. Sitting in a live cash game or tournament you might see 1 hand every 5 to 10 mins. Online you will see 10 times that amount and the average player has atleast 2 tables running if not more. Ofcourse you will see crazy hands and bad beats. On top of alot players who are free rolling amd mew to poker. I would suggest the losing players stay away from turbos and hyper turbos as well as the micro stakes. The turbo games after the first break turn into an all on fest. It's basically all luck at that point. Many players are very profitable on global. You can check their sharkscopes. They don't sit in the $3 and $10 games. They play at min a $20 buy in. Global has posted what RNG they use I have alot respect for them doing so and they claim to be regulated by some authority in Australia I cant confirm that. The RNG they use is called the Mersenne Twister. Which is very common in the poker community. I personally like the party poker RNG better. But really doesn't make a huge difference. Party Poker uses light photons reflecting off a mirror to generate randomness. Just seems pretty cool.

If anyone has proof of this so called lawyer admitting the game isn't random I would like to see that. I won't hike my breath. Something like this would 100% be all over poker news. This would be a huge story and shock the community imo.

Even the best pros don't win even close to 90% of their hands or sessions against fish, but let's just keep making up numbers and ****.

That you're even throwing around such a ridiculously large number signals that you have a strong sense of entitlement about winning just because your opponents are bad.

How about this: Record a 1-2 hour video of yourself playing on Global and post it up and I promise to provide non-troll honest constructive feedback on your play.

Its pretty simple guys dont play on global if you dont trust global. No ones forcing you to. Bovada and other sites are still there and bovada releases the HH's for everyones hand 24 hours after the hand is delt.

I can't believe nobody has pointed out this obvious point demolishing the idea of "sweepstakes = equal chance of winning".

If every hand has an equal chance of winning... never fold. The times your opponents fold will make up for the amount you are losing in rake. Even if it goes to showdown, you'll win 50% of the time.

Now go print on the GP felt! Wait... that didn't work? Almost like the sweepstakes legality has nothing to do with the way the poker deck operates... huh.

I suggested this, he is worried about getting bumhunted or colluded against by people on here if he exposes his user name so I suggested he cover it up upon editing.

Obviously no one here would waste their time to squeeze a couple of 10 NL buy ins from this guy...but he seems to think Global Poker, the forum regulars and the world are out to get him.

I suspect he is the kind of person who throws a temper tantrum when he gets pulled over for speeding and thinks he gets singled out when the officer writes him a ticket for the max amount.

I'd agree to not disclose it, and they're welcome to obscure their screen name.

The idea that one needs to bumhunt at 10nl on Global is pretty ridiculous. It's maybe not 1/3 live soft, but it's still cozy pillow soft.

My offer is to engage with their play quality in good faith and maybe help them overcome some mental roadblocks, at the expense of my own time.

To every good or descent or degenerate like myself, or anyone with 2 brain cells going in the same direction KNOWS FOR SURE that Global Poker and they're RNG is straight flawed. But I have something that'll kill the RNG on every site, thanks to an accident that happened playing Global Poker. I constantly run into synchronicities and a billion to 1 chance of something happening every damn day. It gets old. A lot of us who spot these fixed, scripted, BS hands Global Poker be dealing out. Anyone who doesn't think that the RNG at Global Poker isn't scripted, then you must be one of the people who were told to shut up peasant and put your mask on and take these death shots and booster death shots, idiots.

Now that's out the way. On one of my black phones that I broke, along with LITERALLY, easily over a 100 phones. Most of them were broke over Global POKERS ass. But I'm pretty Certain that I can pull the video and screenshots of the phone, maybe a USB cord maybe, but if you know exactly how to get it off, please reply.
I'm definitely not proud I've went through that many phones, when really I don't even deserve a phone.

Ok so maybe 2 years ago, before me and my wife split up, we were both poker players, we just play different tournaments, which wasn't very often because she didn't play like how us degenerates do. Man we're so bad off, but that's ok fellas at least we admit it. Here's what happened!

So my wife registered for a tournament, and when I came home and she was in the shower, I just happened to register for the same tournament unknowingly. It was only when she came out and told me she was registered for that tournament. So because of that, 1 of us didn't play do to fairness and all. However, the UNIVERSE DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES, and so this was the best accident that could've happened. So we're in the SAME TOURNEY, BUT DIFFERENT TABLES.

I **** YOU NOT, THERE WERE 5 ****ING HANDS IN A ROW WHERE THE BOARD WAS THE EXACT SAME CARDS WITH THE EXACT SAME SUIT, PLUS I THINK IT WAS 3 OUT OF 5 POCKET CARDS WERE THE SAME ALSO. SO ALL YOU LAME ****S THAT TALK ABOUT A 100,000 OR 1 MILLION HANDS TO THEN DO AN ANALYSIS ON YOUR GAME PLAT AND SUPPOSED TO EVEN OUT, RIGHT, NO NOT RIGHT, THATS BS.

There is absolutely know ****ing way possible that you could justify the incalculable odds that have to happen in order for that to happen. You'd probably have better chances hitting the Powerball 5 times than for this to happen. So just like we all knew all along that the RNG is straight scripted, rigged, shenanigans, etc. I literally was so blown away by this that I'm literally recording while taking snapshots on her table, and that I thought obviously this isn't random, but because we had the same exact board and the same exact suit 5 times in a row including 3 of 5 po key cards being the same, that I was wondering if It did that because of the same IP Address. Like you'll literally see me talking about it on video all hyped up, because I finally have the proof and the astronomical odds of something like this happening, I knew this was death of the RNG, and I'll tell you why it affects all the other RNG sites.

It's because what is another site going to say? They can't say well our poker sites RNG is more fairer than Global Poker's ! That's statement isn't going to work, because if they say that, then the other poker rooms have admitted that the RNG isn't random even on their site, because remember the RNG is just random and therefore that goes for their RNG as well. So now they're stuck. Now that the proof is shown on what happened on my broken black phone, everyone who was told by a site claiming the RNG is random, goes out the window. There's not too many people that will play once they realize all these sites RNG's are rigged.

It should, and hopefully will, put an end to the Rigged Number Generator. Now us poker players know that some poker sites are fairer than others, we the people can say that, but the poker sites cannot.

I can't stress this enough people, use your brain. When playing on these poker sites it's A " BUSINESS FIRST AND A POKER SITE SECOND POINT BLANK PERIOD "! So take that 100k.or 1 Million hands and throw that **** out the window. I don't ever exaggerate, because if I said I've been to the moon, then god dammit I've been to the moon. This needed to happen for me to see what we already knew, and because I'm straight truthful, that players can know what the REAL DEAL is, instead of a fabricated story.

I literally have been asking to see that their license is up to date, and the company who certified Global Poker's RNG. THEY LITERALY have avoided this question multiple and multiple and multiple times. As a consumer/player has the right to have solid proof that I'm getting a fair game, not just because GP REPS. SAY SO. If they have nothing to hide then give me what I've been asking for up top of this message. So operating under sweepstakes rules in order to operate in the U.S. !! That's why I'm glad this should end all RNG's for good on all poker sites.

Oh get this. I love when poker sites say how random the RNG is on poker, then all the sudden plot twist, then why is it slot machines are set on how much to payout, and have in the terms that " Any Malfunction Voids All pay ", when it's supposed to be random! Bro they literally are like a deer in headlights when I say that. They can't even combat me anymore over the RNG being random. I call it " CHECKMATE " on these unfair RNG's these sites use.

I will say this, yes of course you can win money and cashout, and I've never waited past 3 days Literally!! What's sad about all this is that they have a great amount of players, tournaments, giveaways etc. The problem is the RNG is making a joke out of the game of poker, that it's beyond rediculous. So if you can dodge the bots, colluders, super user accounts, any inside scandals amongst GP staff, recognizing patterns to set you up when your low stacked, and dominated by big stacks, etc, then yes you can make money.

Anyone who reads this give me some feedback on what you about what I said, and/or your own personal experiences with the RNG.

you lost me at the vaccine conspiracy.

I'm pretty sure my 5th post on this site wasn't even 2% as awesome as this great wall of text, let's give respect where it's due

And it's so good that I don't even want to finish it in one sitting, going to wait until I have a beer this weekend

Don't forget to slam that Like button

I didn't finish the whole article, but it's useful that we have an empirical methodology we can deploy to create a falsifiable experiment. I'd offer to replicate this myself, but I unfortunately don't have a wife. Anyone want to step up to be my wife for a tournament to make this experiment happen?

Took some time off because I simply cant win....first hand I play I call off a short stack I have a fish tag with AJsuited, he has A10off and of course makes a flush. This means its rigged right?

These guys offer nothing but bad beat stories and expect people to believe them?

Maybe they should offer up some sort of evidence as 5000 word rants that amount to trust me bro I know because I know.

While these posts are great comic relief, the allegations are serious and I do think the posters actually believe what they write, not sure how one would go to prove this without hand histories. Maybe both of them streaming could get enough hands to show that what they experience is normal bad beats that one expects playing this game.