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Poker Tells/Behavior, hosted by: Zachary Elwood Discussions about poker tells, behavior, and psychology, with a focus on live poker.

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Old 08-08-2017, 06:17 PM   #1
Highspirit1978
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How to control anger and pain?

I been playing poker for money for at least 5 years and I won some and lost some but I think I broke even over all but I still get angry and feel pain when i lose especially if I make the final table and get bad beats. I made it up to the level of being nice and saying nice game and walk away without saying anything else but once I'm around 5 minutes away I get mad and curse and start talking to my self and feel a lot of pain. Is there any good way to deal with these feelings? Is it just me? I know it's illogical to behave this way but i can't help it. What should I do? I'm not looking for sympathy because I know I wouldn't get it from here or anywhere because ppl seem to frown on gamblers but I'm not looking for any just new ways on how to control my feelings.
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Old 08-08-2017, 09:01 PM   #2
wowsooooted
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

its called the "mental game". You hear that all sports is 90% is in the mind, this is more true for poker because you can play 100% perfectly and still lose time after time.

Awareness and breathing techniques can be helpful, but just training yourself overtime can have real benefit, try youtube videos even a book called the mental game of poker
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Old 08-12-2017, 04:34 PM   #3
Highspirit1978
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

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Originally Posted by wowsooooted View Post
its called the "mental game". You hear that all sports is 90% is in the mind, this is more true for poker because you can play 100% perfectly and still lose time after time.

Awareness and breathing techniques can be helpful, but just training yourself overtime can have real benefit, try youtube videos even a book called the mental game of poker
Thanks I will try the things you mentioned
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Old 08-16-2017, 03:17 AM   #4
TexasKK
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

No, you are definitely not the only one for sure. I have had my fair share of outbursts and curse-filled rants after bad beat hands. But over time, it has gotten better for me. While I haven't tried any psychological techniques, I've noticed that over time I have started to 'coach' myself thru those times when a big pot is brewing and while I might have the second or third or fourth nuts, I tell myself there will be a percentage of the time when my opponent just has it and this might be it. And with this, it makes the pain/anger reaction come and go much faster. I guess it's teaching myself that percentages play out this way. Time and experience doesn't eliminate it, but it does lessen it.
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Old 08-16-2017, 06:10 AM   #5
RickBoyle
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

there is a book called the mental game of poker, i think thats a must read for any aspiring online player
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Old 08-16-2017, 07:23 PM   #6
Highspirit1978
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

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No, you are definitely not the only one for sure. I have had my fair share of outbursts and curse-filled rants after bad beat hands. But over time, it has gotten better for me. While I haven't tried any psychological techniques, I've noticed that over time I have started to 'coach' myself thru those times when a big pot is brewing and while I might have the second or third or fourth nuts, I tell myself there will be a percentage of the time when my opponent just has it and this might be it. And with this, it makes the pain/anger reaction come and go much faster. I guess it's teaching myself that percentages play out this way. Time and experience doesn't eliminate it, but it does lessen it.
Thanks. I believe i'm getting better because I didn't get mad in my last bad beat and I even stayed to watch the rest of the tourney and enjoyed watching others get sucked out on. One trick that worked was I told myself what ever happens I will not get mad and just except it and it worked plus me staying there probably helped because I didn't want to look like a fool near the table.
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Old 08-16-2017, 07:24 PM   #7
Highspirit1978
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

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Originally Posted by RickBoyle View Post
there is a book called the mental game of poker, i think thats a must read for any aspiring online player
Thanks, i heard about that book and I just ordered it from the library last week and should arrive soon.
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Old 10-05-2017, 02:29 PM   #8
SimplyRavishing
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

Tommy Angelo.
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Old 10-07-2017, 04:10 PM   #9
Highspirit1978
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

just finished reading the book and I believe it helped me a lot. Thanks guys
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Old 10-25-2017, 04:37 PM   #10
BanjoFetz
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

I have destroyed all the knuckles on my right hand and now I feel no pain when I punch.
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Old 10-30-2017, 06:26 PM   #11
POL
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

breathing is a tool we often forget
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:32 AM   #12
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

Elliot Roe
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:33 AM   #13
felixxx1021
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

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breathing is a tool we often forget
gold
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Old 05-28-2018, 06:19 PM   #14
Shai Hulud
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

Why is this in the tells section? Seems more poker psychology.

Anyway Tommy Angelo has some books that might help.

I don't play large field tournaments so I can't really appreciate how much worse it must be compared to cash games facing coolers and suckouts. In a cash game you just reload. In a tournament it might have cost you tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars after days of work.

That said, I think you just have to accept as a given that tournaments by nature are long shots. You will mostly lose especially in large field tournaments. Accept that to win you have to run very good, and as a corollary to that, other guys running very good will suck out on you. Just the nature of the beast.

Try to get into the mindset that the goal is to win money over hundreds of tournaments, so the outcome of any one tournament is not so hugely important.
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Old 05-31-2018, 02:35 PM   #15
kidpython
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

The trick is not to control anger, it is to bypass that emotional response entirely. I discovered a method for retraining my unconscious brain to do that in an obscure self-help book. It took 2 weeks of intensive focus, but it worked. I went from getting angry every other day to getting angry on average about once a year.

Since the book that I got this from has gone out of print I intend to write a short ebook to spell out the details about how this process worked for me and how I used it to improve several areas of my life. In the meantime, here is a short reddit post https://www.reddit.com/r/poker/comme..._tilt/c9udmhf/ where I summarize the process.
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Old 06-04-2018, 04:07 PM   #16
antialias
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

My advice would be not to look at the result of a bad beat but at the hand. Did you play it well? If so - there's absolutely no reason to be angry. (If not, then it should be a welcome starting point to get better. So...also not a reason to get angry. "Crisis as chance" and all that)

You certainly have lucked out on other players before so occasionally they will luck out on you. No reason to get upset about it. They are as 'deserving' of luck as you are. Congratualte them. Makes them all the more likely to make the same mistake again.
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Old 06-06-2018, 06:23 PM   #17
ripitin11
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

Jared Tendler - The Mental Game of Poker (V. Good Read - Better as Audiobook IMO)

I find what works for me is breathing steady. On top of this, rooting myself in that exact moment works too. I realise what I can physically feel, smell, hear etc...

Sounds weird but if you're putting more of your thoughts into how your pocket feels and find a loose thread or something, soon enough the beat fades out into "it's been and gone" mode.

Never take it out on the other player, we need bad plays in the game no matter how lucky they are being that specific night. And the same goes for you, don't take it out on yourself. Half of poker is confidence, and you'll create fear for yourself the next time in that same spot if you berate yourself this time. Good luck on the felt.
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:03 AM   #18
iggystoned
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Re: How to control anger and pain?

Understand the inevitable luck factor in the game. Also understand that without poor players no one would be winning pots.

Mental exercises, gratitude, and breathing techniques definitely help.

You are the enemy, not the bad players.

Hope it helps,
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