FatSushi Blog & Vlog
02-16-2023
, 06:32 PM
Doing pads challenge in his discord, writing a semi blog every day. Gonna repost everything here : )
--- 2/16/2023 ---
Great day today! Woke up as planned, then we had a great coaching session with praaap. Played for almost 8hrs and 20+ mtts. Had one deep run in APL tournament with 15k+ up top which is super rare in the morning sched and very exciting. Had great stream numbers and even got this message in the middle of the stream ->
Got really starstruck and **** 😄
Ended the stream @ 8pm and then my parents invited us for a dinner (good that they live 150meters away). So I am ready to do my tasks only now. Going for a run, then study and reading.
Also, yesterday in the evening our friends invited us to go somewhere to chill + today in the morning dad said that maybe I would like to watch brothers soccer game and both times I said no. This is literally first time in 5 years I set boundaries, explained that I need to either stream/play or study/read and cant do it. Would always take any opportunity like this to dont do any **** for the whole day or evening.
As for my values family and friends is really up there, but setting boundaries like this is a new thing for me. Insta planned both things for the weekend and everything is gto.
Feeling very committed to this challenge and my goals and responsibilities with my coach. No more excuses
Done for the day, feeling good but pretty tired, time to learn how to rest 😄
Tomorrow we do the same. Wake up before 9am, warm up and study 1hr + Play and stream 5h+ 20mtts+. Run and read a book after the stream -> Enjoy Friday.
Stats for the day + standard share of results after winning session https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets...it?usp=sharing
--- 2/16/2023 ---
Great day today! Woke up as planned, then we had a great coaching session with praaap. Played for almost 8hrs and 20+ mtts. Had one deep run in APL tournament with 15k+ up top which is super rare in the morning sched and very exciting. Had great stream numbers and even got this message in the middle of the stream ->
Got really starstruck and **** 😄
Ended the stream @ 8pm and then my parents invited us for a dinner (good that they live 150meters away). So I am ready to do my tasks only now. Going for a run, then study and reading.
Also, yesterday in the evening our friends invited us to go somewhere to chill + today in the morning dad said that maybe I would like to watch brothers soccer game and both times I said no. This is literally first time in 5 years I set boundaries, explained that I need to either stream/play or study/read and cant do it. Would always take any opportunity like this to dont do any **** for the whole day or evening.
As for my values family and friends is really up there, but setting boundaries like this is a new thing for me. Insta planned both things for the weekend and everything is gto.
Feeling very committed to this challenge and my goals and responsibilities with my coach. No more excuses
Done for the day, feeling good but pretty tired, time to learn how to rest 😄
Tomorrow we do the same. Wake up before 9am, warm up and study 1hr + Play and stream 5h+ 20mtts+. Run and read a book after the stream -> Enjoy Friday.
Stats for the day + standard share of results after winning session https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets...it?usp=sharing
02-18-2023
, 05:34 AM
--- 2/17/2023 ---
Change of plans in the morning, forgot that we have a giveaway on my twitch @ 8pm so have to start streaming later and fin later. My calves are killing me today! Probably will have to take a day of from running and to the steps today. GL ALL!
Aaaand we had horrible session today again 😄 Even after all these years, its so hard to deal with swings. Especially emotionally. One thing I tried that actually worked is from yesterdays podcast. After first horrible hour, I "rewarded" myself for being still here. Muted the mic on stream, told that I am doing good job, should focus on making good decisions and keep moving towards my goal. And it ****ing worked! Had more focus and energy (placebo?) and played great for next 40 mins until got smashed again. Then did the "trick" once more! WORKED. Got smashed after 30mins and didnt have enough will power or whatever to do it again, was down bad. But we learned something today for sure. Gonna try to do this more and we should get better with time.
I think since we are consuming so much new info now, different methods and strategies to do ****, have to try them all first and look what sticks to us. If pads or other guy we look up to says this is the stuff that works 100% and swears by it, but we try and fail doesnt mean something is wrong with us. I wasted like 2 years trying to just push trough **** with my will and grind, which just wasnt there. But podcasts and ppl I was watching at the time was saying that this is the only way to do it, and I was feeling misserable and so ****ing weak for YEARS. Have to try stuff and look for what works for us personally. We are all so ****ing different, our backgrounds, mindset etc. Most of us got ****ed up by our parents in different ways, and now it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to fix that. (Just to clarify I was very much loved as I child and in top %1 run prob, parents are still together and never was abused in some way or whtaver, but they still ****ed up my system by giving me conditional love for good grades and simmilar stuff, they just didnt know better and did their best to raise me good)
Going for a walk now, then we study and watch the same podcast. Also not saying that I found something here with that podcast reward strategy, but I think it clicked something a bit in me and we should try it more and dig deeper.
Feeling meh, but as my new favorite quote from praaap says - "doesnt matter, tomorrow we get better"
Instead of running we chose 10k steps today, took way more time than I expected 😄 First half we spent walking with Goda, so some gto quality time, but since it was raining and its +2 outside she went home in the middle and I spent last 40mins walking alone and listening to new random podcast I chose, Philosophise This! Really liked it : ) Time to study and read/podcast now!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
Done with the tasks for the day. Have planned activities with friends tomorrow, gonna see redbull event where build ships or cars and jump of snow trampoline 😄 Study before that, running in the morning if legs will feel good, podcast or reading in the evening. Rough day in general, but we know that we are getting better and thats whats the most important. Goda is worried that I am studying and "working" too much, but this is just normal working hours for a normal regular I imagine, she just never has seen me do this in the 2 years we are together 😂
Change of plans in the morning, forgot that we have a giveaway on my twitch @ 8pm so have to start streaming later and fin later. My calves are killing me today! Probably will have to take a day of from running and to the steps today. GL ALL!
Aaaand we had horrible session today again 😄 Even after all these years, its so hard to deal with swings. Especially emotionally. One thing I tried that actually worked is from yesterdays podcast. After first horrible hour, I "rewarded" myself for being still here. Muted the mic on stream, told that I am doing good job, should focus on making good decisions and keep moving towards my goal. And it ****ing worked! Had more focus and energy (placebo?) and played great for next 40 mins until got smashed again. Then did the "trick" once more! WORKED. Got smashed after 30mins and didnt have enough will power or whatever to do it again, was down bad. But we learned something today for sure. Gonna try to do this more and we should get better with time.
I think since we are consuming so much new info now, different methods and strategies to do ****, have to try them all first and look what sticks to us. If pads or other guy we look up to says this is the stuff that works 100% and swears by it, but we try and fail doesnt mean something is wrong with us. I wasted like 2 years trying to just push trough **** with my will and grind, which just wasnt there. But podcasts and ppl I was watching at the time was saying that this is the only way to do it, and I was feeling misserable and so ****ing weak for YEARS. Have to try stuff and look for what works for us personally. We are all so ****ing different, our backgrounds, mindset etc. Most of us got ****ed up by our parents in different ways, and now it is OUR RESPONSIBILITY to fix that. (Just to clarify I was very much loved as I child and in top %1 run prob, parents are still together and never was abused in some way or whtaver, but they still ****ed up my system by giving me conditional love for good grades and simmilar stuff, they just didnt know better and did their best to raise me good)
Going for a walk now, then we study and watch the same podcast. Also not saying that I found something here with that podcast reward strategy, but I think it clicked something a bit in me and we should try it more and dig deeper.
Feeling meh, but as my new favorite quote from praaap says - "doesnt matter, tomorrow we get better"
Instead of running we chose 10k steps today, took way more time than I expected 😄 First half we spent walking with Goda, so some gto quality time, but since it was raining and its +2 outside she went home in the middle and I spent last 40mins walking alone and listening to new random podcast I chose, Philosophise This! Really liked it : ) Time to study and read/podcast now!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
Done with the tasks for the day. Have planned activities with friends tomorrow, gonna see redbull event where build ships or cars and jump of snow trampoline 😄 Study before that, running in the morning if legs will feel good, podcast or reading in the evening. Rough day in general, but we know that we are getting better and thats whats the most important. Goda is worried that I am studying and "working" too much, but this is just normal working hours for a normal regular I imagine, she just never has seen me do this in the 2 years we are together 😂
02-18-2023
, 05:51 PM
--- 2/18/2023 ---
Had a rough morning with stomach problems but all good now, jumped in straight into studying. Spent first 30mins trying to solver some 100bb 3bet pot where I have no idea what is happening, then gave up and decided that for the time being I will mostly focus on playing RFI vs BB pots and BB vs RFI, the same topics we mostly go over now with my coach.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
Plans changed with friends, so we gonna study a bit more now, read and run after, then spend evening with friends.
Done with the tasks for the day. Felt better today while running after yesterdays 10k steps, but still it is raining every single day here + temperature is low, so waiting for Spring to start very much 😄
Plan for tomorrow is to study as much as possible, plan the week and ofc run/read
There is that small feeling in side of me that is saying that you are moving in the right direction and it looks like it gets a bit bigger and stronger with every day of this challenge. ****ing amazing
And the first non daily vlog is here too! https://youtu.be/vHaXJapuuxQ Would love to here any feedback in dms or here. Talking a ton about this challenge in the first video 😄 We changed the format from daily vlogs to 1-2 per week, this is the first try! Gonna adjust everything in the upcoming months ( video length included ) so any feedback would be great : )
Had a rough morning with stomach problems but all good now, jumped in straight into studying. Spent first 30mins trying to solver some 100bb 3bet pot where I have no idea what is happening, then gave up and decided that for the time being I will mostly focus on playing RFI vs BB pots and BB vs RFI, the same topics we mostly go over now with my coach.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
Plans changed with friends, so we gonna study a bit more now, read and run after, then spend evening with friends.
Done with the tasks for the day. Felt better today while running after yesterdays 10k steps, but still it is raining every single day here + temperature is low, so waiting for Spring to start very much 😄
Plan for tomorrow is to study as much as possible, plan the week and ofc run/read
There is that small feeling in side of me that is saying that you are moving in the right direction and it looks like it gets a bit bigger and stronger with every day of this challenge. ****ing amazing
And the first non daily vlog is here too! https://youtu.be/vHaXJapuuxQ Would love to here any feedback in dms or here. Talking a ton about this challenge in the first video 😄 We changed the format from daily vlogs to 1-2 per week, this is the first try! Gonna adjust everything in the upcoming months ( video length included ) so any feedback would be great : )