Hello this is the artist formally known as the infamous Grimstarr.

This will likely be my one and only post on this forum as I’ve been banned more times than I can count and have just been lurking the past decade and expect the grudge holding mods to snap ban me after seeing this. Anyways I have a question regarding a local home game that may generate interesting discussion about what the poker community has devolved into over the past decade so here’s some quick backstory.

I was invited by a local donkey who occasionally will give microstakes (usually 25/50 cent all he can afford)Texas holdem action at local game. Guy loves buying in for single digit numbers but occasionally seen him buy in as large as 20 maybe once or twice. Never seen him buy in for anywhere near even 100 before. Loves to limp and junk call to river showdown high cards and call bets no pair no draw with near nut low on river completely clueless maybe wins about 1-2% of sessions. Don’t get me wrong I love playing poker with someone this clueless but the antics that have began lately is becoming quite the headache and not sure where to draw the line.

Long story short he’s invited me to a no rake home game about a dozen times but has withdrawn the invite every time. The game is at a “social club” type of setting that I happen to be “banned” from joining for some reason I don’t even understand exactly. Maybe it’s my autism. Anyways one day recently he invited me again and forgot to withdraw his invite and when I showed up we played a $20 tournament 8 handed which I took first place in for 100 and it turned into cash game 1-2 blinds at adjacent table. I heard them say you can buy in as short or heavy as you want when they started it but when I showed up they wanted to cap my buy in at 50 when I asked to buy in 120 they all made a scene. I was just trying to cover a clearly bad player with a approx 110 stack (biggest at table at the time lol). End of the night I profited like 55-60 bucks from the cash game and left as presumable biggest winner of the night. “Host” took my number said he’d add me to group text (never happened so far - shrug). As far as I know I made a good impression of showing my hand down 99% of the time even tho I didn’t have to and being respectful to everybody and giving some business to the cash bar and giving a small tip. Day or two later donkey inviter made some comments to me about how he regrets inviting me and he believes everybody was upset that I took their money. Lol.

So fast forward to now and the donkey inviter started making claims that I won 500+ at this game and I owe him at least 50 for the invite. I told him first or all it’s none of his f - - king business what I won or lost. Second of all I don’t owe him anything. it’s significantly less than 500 and I offered to make a gentlemen bet with him that he can call his friends ask how much I cashed out for and if I did in fact win 500+ I’ll self ban myself from the game. If it’s under 500 I owe him a kick in the nuts. He accepted the bet and I told him I can’t wait to cash in my winning ticket.

So yesterday he calls me asks if I want to play again I say sure he says ok it’ll cost me $20 (aka he wants a free buy in for the tournament cuz he’s broke). I told him hard pass no I’m not interested in paying a fee for a seat in this game. He claims he’s got a ton of other people who will happily pay him $20 for a seat (lol 99.9999% sure that’s a lie). I also forgot to mention that he’s said in the past that if the wrong person sees me at this game they may ask me to leave. So obviously with a tiny stakes donkament and micro cash game that caps my buy in at 25 bb out of fear (lol). Games likely don’t run for more than 4-5 hours total between donkament and cash and that would require a roughly $5/hour win rate just to break even lol which I’m sure I can attain easily versus this line up but just seems very targeted specifically versus me as clearly nobody else is being charged an entry fee. His defense is that hypothetically if I invited him to a game and he won 500-600 (lol that’s about as likely as lightning striking same place 3 times in a row) that he would have given me a tip/kickback. I then said if you wanna be hypothetical then what if I hypothetically lost in this huge sample size of one poker game that lasted 4 hours would he still be bugging…ahem…begging me for a toke to which he got upset and said that’s an irrelevant question and that I came in my own free will…whatever that means.

Listen I don’t mind paying rake. I’ve paid a ton of rake in past and will pay tons in future. But I do mind being the only one being raked and it not even going to the house who is expected to provide something in return (drinks, comps, etc). Donkey inviter seems to think I owe him a curtesy tip from last time and all future times I may play in this game. It’s been a while since I’ve played home game / private game poker and I’ve read a ton about how excluding players becomes more and more common. Yes I understand that it’s a bit different than a “public” casino setting where anybody with chips can sit as long as they’ve been thru the wait list if there is one. Things like hit and run, anti social behavior, excessive tanking, backpacks, headphones, Tupperware lol and hiker esque attire (as the legendary Limon used to call it) etc that we see all too commonly in public casino games is heavily frowned upon and will surely assure you’re not invited back but that certainly wasn’t the case when I played and this case appears to just be an obnoxious scum donkey inviter trying to extort someone into a free donkament buy in cuz he’s busto. My opinion, and I’m sure everybody else at that table would have agreed, is that the inviters behavior at the table was poor in that he was doing things like refusing to deal on his button, making a neighbor do the work for him, excessive tanking in tiny pots and trying to demand a player show a card mid hand to help him decide on his own action, asking to be allowed to rebuy in donkament when no rebuy was ever discussed pre game and begging for chips when busto at cash game. Granted even tho all that stuff is annoying it’s mild enough that we’re still happy to play with such a drooler as his odds of winning any money is near nil.

Anyways the whole purpose of this thread is just to ask what I consider a relatively knowledgeable and respected poker community their thoughts on this situation. Is this what home game / “private” poker world has turned into? Is this common or just one pathetic bad apple?

TLDR cliff notes: is it common practice to give someone a significant tip for inviting them to a no rake home game even though no agreement was made in advance - and if not, is it ok for the inviter to endlessly beg for a tip and say he’ll never re invite without a significant gratuity? Is it common for one specific player to be told that they must pay a fee for a seat in a game, adhere to strict buy in maximum rules when nobody else does, and be forced to be on the edge of his seat under duress that they can be kicked out at any time?

If any of this stuff is commonplace or true I guess I’m just gonna have to never play in home games again as it’s not worth the headache. I’d rather just pay rake at a casino and not deal with the little girl politics.

PS Free Abe

Damn I wanted to edit original post but forgot to mention there was also blatant cheating that happened one hand where they let a guy go north like 15-20 bucks from his pocket. “Floor man” ok’d it saying the guy bought the chips before the hand so it’s ok to add them mid hand. I said that’s not right but then stopped caring after that. Not sure whether it was intentionally trying to angle and cheat the victim or the fact that these guys probably get their poker rulings from old school black and white 1950s movies. Either way it deserves to be mentioned that there’s yet another hurdle to potentially deal with at this wonderful home game.

Mods, if you can edit that above paragraph (minus the damn I forgot to edit part) somewhere in the last 3/4 of original post would be cool. Thanks.

Doesn't sound normal to me, nor worth the tip. I mean, he can ask for tips, but you are under no obligation to pay them. If that means you don't play that game, seems like no great loss. I've played pretty small my entire career, and I probably wouldn't bother with that game.

As for the "cheating" (likely just no real understanding of the rules), The wall of text is already long enough, so let's keep it as a separate post.

My local home game has changed over the years.
We've learned and have stopped inviting/allowing those that are not good for the game.
We've changed stakes to spread limit to help the game continue.
Other local games are different everything.



My two cents:

Good job in the tourney.
Bad job buying into the cash game.
Maybe they all bought in for $50 max to start making it fair to cap you.
If they just wanted you to be short stacked,then I'd buy in short and use it to decide if I was going to return.

Good job in the cash game.
Being respectful to all helps stem objections.
Tipping as a winner to the house helps get invites back.


Yeah, I'm not cutting this dude in for a piece on a standard size win.

I guess if the game were juicy/profitable enough, I'd pay a $20 entry fee.
If not, just say no.

Not a fan of playing with cheats.
It would be enough for me to skip that game moving forward.



1. All games have their own "norms". Exceptions for some players may not make sense. I tend to go along with things and determine if it's a game I want to keep playing.

2. I think it's normal for raked games to have other fees.

3. I think most hosts value profit the most, even to the point of having non-standard rulings if they think it's good for the game.


I'll continue to play with friends and in the casinos, skipping the raked home game scene.

you misread - it's unraked. but inviter is just too douchey if he told me it was $0.01 to play I'd tell him GFY and cash in my KITN gentlemen bet win. the absolute max "kickback" I offered this clown was smoke him up on a joint and buy him a beer from their overpriced bar. I'd rather tip him $4-6 worth of alcohol even tho it costs more than $0.01 cuz he'll lose his $ faster when hes drunker

oh and it's not like they said "you can only buy 50 cuz everybody else only bought 50" when i sat down. they asked how much i want, i eyed the donks stack and said i want that much i mean 120 took out my cash and they capped me at 50 "in their attempt to keep the game "friendly" wtf nothing is friendlier than matching the big stack or better yet buying 10x his stack.

and FYI "floor man" claimed he was in for 200 which I believe...but was probably him buying 20-40 at a time and self proclaimed "donking" it away....so to cap me at 50 is just rude IMO. when i do no rake cashgames at my place I always tell everybody no min no max and never try to cap someone's buy in. cuz i'm a legend of gambling like limon and i know the deal to always keep everybody happy. the golden rule is the man with the gold makes the rules. whenever the inviter guy (basically one of the only ones who complains) that someone is buying in "too much" at my homegame I always say that I don't cap buyins. if mr inviter guy wants to get upset and quit fine go ahead leave with your $15 and don't come back. I'd rather keep the whale who wants to buy in for $300 happy and that guy will play all night and get comp liquor weed etc

free Abe

Right there I can tell that you just lack any kind of respect for these people. If you have a problem with the way he's running HIS home game, don't go.

It's not your game though, deal with it.

As a matter of a fact I have quite a bit of respect for the people at the table and their group they represent. Do they have any respect for me? Well that’s another story.
But also to be honest I have a difficult time having any serious respect for the inviter from the years of bullshit I’ve had to deal with coming from him. I usually just grit my teeth and give a fake smile most of the time because he’s such a poker and life donk. This recent reaction from him though seems very over the top and borderline similar to actions I see from homeless people who bet for $0.25 at the corner store toward their loosie cigarette fund.

And I don’t mind the lol tiny 25 BB cap nearly as much as the after the fact drama he’s been stewing for the past several weeks that didn’t come up until literally 3-4 weeks after the event. I just wonder if this clown would have acted the same in the event that I broke even or lost money? Who knows.
Isn’t it usually the house the kicks back to a player for inviting a new player if anything? Not the inviter begging for a tip/kickback from the invited player?

Another question. As soon as I sat at the Cash table the inviter had already busted out his initial buy in(s) and claimed to be broke and begged me for chips. I originally said no then he offered a THC pen hit so I said ok you got me in a good mood I’ll give you $1 for the hit and let you borrow $4 to be paid back next week so he got a total of 5 chips out of me. Low and behold a few hands later he’s all in pre with AQ and board is queen high. He lets me sweat the hand and says what do you think. I say I can’t say. There’s still betting. Maybe a side pot occurred or not I don’t remember. But it comes to showdown and he keeps letting me sweat his hand while everybody is showing down and asking me what do I think. I don’t like when others break the one player to a hand rule and I never try to break it or ask people to break it for me myself but he must have asked me like 2-3 times what do I think. So I uttered “I can’t say. I just hope you do the right thing.”

Eventually he tables and scoops his main pot of like 20-25 or so. Did my comment go against the “one player to a hand rule?” I’ve seen this guy muck his BB when limped to more times than I can count. Hell I’ve even seen him invent a new play that I allowed at my friendly no rake cash game but I’m not sure if most casinos would allow it where he limps in and kicks in the same motion leaving the BB dead in the pot. Not sure if I’ve ever seen him muck a winner at showdown but I’m sure he’s the type who can and probably has more than once. Just want to make sure I wasn’t out of line with my comment. If I was then please feel free to berate.

OP promised us one and only post, can't trust anyone in poker nowadays

just when i thought i was out...they pull me back in