"Just try to be responsible"
"Thanks, but I won't".
"Come on, man... don't play with money you can't afford to lose".
"Thanks, but I will".
"Alright, well... seat open"...

When Rich walks through the door, you can feel how ****ty his night is about to be. You can try to prevent it or give him a heads up, "Hey man, your night is about to be really ****ty", but the ****storm will relentlessly commence and conclude somewhere between a 2000BB - 4000BB loss, 1-2 empty handles of Crown, and a dozen slaughtered Copag decks, squeezed to hell from the frustration of 15-hours of terrible decision making.

To my understanding, Rich's wife carried them, financially. They had just made some larger purchases, moved into a new house, and were beginning to settle down. He had more to lose than before, but this was his self-declared "going away party"... he seemed more ambitious than ever to have a ****ty night.

The night started relatively mellow, with Rich playing fairly ABC and relaxed. It always starts off this way, but all of us know the time bomb is ticking, whether we can hear it or not. Typically, his desperation directly correlates to the size of his dark preflop raises (I blind raise to $15...I blind raise to $25....$45...etc.). So, if you're asking yourself, "How bad of a night is Rich having?", you can just refer to the size of his dark raises to find your answer. On this particular night, about 8-hours into the session, with the average stack about 500BB deep, he began consistently blind-raising 30BB. Every hand.

And this marks the inevitable time in the night where my moral compass starts erratically spinning in all directions. For me, as a host and a player, Rich is a dream. A ****ing unicorn. For me, as a human being, he's a total nightmare. I don't enjoy watching someone play with their mortgage money, but I also don't like denying my players a chance to win money against a whale. Whenever Rich yells, "CHIPS", 8 people spin around in their chairs and stare at me; their eyes pleading, "For the love of god, please don't talk him out of putting more on the table. Please let him reload. Please". He reloads. Shoves with 10-high. "CHIPS". Death stares from the table. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

It's 11am in the morning... 16-hours into the session. Rich picks up his phone after blowing through another 500BB buy-in. He puts it on speakerphone and places it on the table. He has tears in his eyes:
"Hey Mom...please don't get mad. I did it again. I lost control"
"Rich, NO...please tell me you're joking. NO. NO. NO."
"Yes, I'm sorry. I just lost everything."
His Mom starts crying...we're all staring at each other in awkward disbelief. Rich puts his head in his hands and stares at the ground. He eventually takes the phone off speaker and walks out. At this point, everyone at the table is emotionally shell-shocked. Why the hell is he having us listen to this? Do we console him? How do we react? Do we keep playing? After a few minutes, we agree to play one more orbit and call the game.

Then, the door swings open......

Rich looks up at me with a twisted smile on his face, "I just convinced her to send me money. Get me some chips".

This is a terrific home game.

Thank you for your hospitality!

I can tell this is not a home game where the players are not friends. I feel for Rich and hope he gets help with his gambling addiction.

Everybody wants something different in a story, so this is just my 2 cents, but this isn't funny, it's not sexy, not romantic, not epic, it's just sad.

It is sad. The tone of the story doesn't necessarily reflect my personal feelings for the situation. Nobody wants to read an emo-story told from the perspective of a teenage girl on her Tumblr blog. There's also quite a few omissions (for the sake of brevity). A few additional bulletpoints:
* Rich was banned from my game for a year leading up to this session (and has been indefinitely banned since).
* I won't ruin the open-ended-ness of the story, but I will say this: When he asked for chips after speaking to his mother, my response made him angry to the point that he grabbed another players cards and mucked them in a 1000BB pot.
* After the session, I rebated him a significant amount that I won't disclose (this was coupled with an indefinite ban from the game).

In general, as a host, there's a vast, often indistinguishable, moral gray area in certain situations... this particular instance is probably the only instance I've faced (in four years) that was clearly beyond the gray area. However, it's still relatively complex. Rich is going to lose this money elsewhere (every time I've cut him off, he's immediately driven drunk to the Commerce or Bicycle, and lost the rest of his money there). At least in my place, he gets rebated, and won't drive home drunk.

It's a situation that has no upside, which is why he's banned (and why I've removed myself from this equation altogether in the future).

A lot of us are friends (just through the game), but we play harder against each other than most strangers do. If your post was meant to imply collusion or team-play, you couldn't be wrong in your assumption.

Thanks man!! GREAT meeting you the other night.

No, I wasn’t implying collusion. I meant this guy should not be gambling, yet everyone is implicitly urging you to keep selling him chips. Friends would not take advantage of someone who has a gambling problem.

Um, no, tbh I doubt it's even close. "In general" means that more often than not, your statement is correct. Between hosting for about 4 years, playing in home games for 5, and a couple of years of reading/contributing to this forum, your experience is far from "in general".

I'm not saying there's not a market for your stories, if they're good ofc you'll find a receptive audience, but ime the world of home games (as opposed to underground games) is the exact opposite of "a vast, often indistinguishable, moral gray area". I would think you're writing up your experiences precisely because they fall outside of the "in general" games most of us inhabit. It's why Molly's Game was a passable read, but "sw_emigre's game" would redefine soporific.

I felt remorse for someone at the table once. Was a $1/1 friendly home game. Gave his $80 back because apparently he was now dead broke and wasn't paid til Friday, his girlfriend is gonna kill him, etc.

I went on a booze run and by the time I came back he just donated it to someone else. Don't think I'd feel remorse for someone at the table ever again.

Can't wait to play again. I have 3 interviews in the next 2 days and then I'm looking at another 40 hours this week at my current gig so I have to be fresh and on point.

Plus I ran good on ACR last night, so that scratched the itch for now haha.

This pretty much sums up the game. The story of Rich was not the norm. The game is reg central and mostly everyone has a job. And it's true that the other regs play harder, much much harder, against each other.

The level of competition is similar to the $300 PLO game at Commerce.

OP is a terrific and a generous host. I understand some of the anger in this thread, but there is a misunderstanding going on here.

I walked into the game, and he was very welcoming and accommodating. There was alcohol/soda/bottled water/ice bucket/candy/chips all for the players to enjoy. Nightclubs charge A LOT of money for that kind of treatment. That is basically the VIP room. OP didn't charge a cover, and would refuse to accept tips from the players. He even bought everyone tacos and covered the expense out of his pocket. There was also another new player there that night, and OP went out of his way to make sure that both myself and the other guy felt at home.

I was nervous about being in a home game with people I didn't know for the first time but got settled in and shook the cobwebbs off. The Yankees were playing on the flatscreens and there was music playing in the background. This is an amazing home game. The story of Rich was an exception and not the norm.

As far as the story of Rich goes, OP made the right call and dealt with the situation accordingly.

Is a home game host suppose to cut people off? What about the players that are losing generally. Do they get banned? Is the host suppose to tell the players to read Sklanskys NLHE and play tight aggressive? Ask the players how they got the money to buy into the game? That is ridiculous. The players know what their getting into. They don't have to be there. No one was lured and induced into the game. People are free to make their own decisions. How someone buys into the game is their business. When they decide to stop playing is their decision.

The story of Rich was told because it was an astonishing example of what can happen to someone who has lost self-control and is a cautionary tale. There was no Rich or anyone like that when I played.

It's a good game with competitive players who have been friends for years with disposable income and with a generous host.

While I agree that the sentence is poorly worded, at least address the sentence it in it's entirety: "In general, as a host, there's a vast, often indistinguishable, moral gray area in certain situations"...the last two words of that sentence void the issues you have with my application of "in general".

I'm addressing specific circumstances and situations (such as this one), not saying that this story, or instances like this, are the "general" or "norm". And yes, you are correct, I wouldn't be telling stories such as these f this were just another Thursday night.

While I understand what you're saying, I think it's more complex than it seems. A lot of the players are shielded from the total degeneracy of a particular player (they don't see the texts, or get asked repeatedly for the markers, etc). They all stay up until 9am losing a lot of money most of the nights. They all say, "man, I'm a ****ing degenerate". "I have issues". A lot of gamblers think the term "gambling addict" is a relative term. For someone who doesn't gamble at all, seeing someone lose $700 in a 13 hour session is absolutely definitely someone with a gambling problem. I'm not justifying that perspective, but it's definitely a perspective that is at the forefront of how people view addiction (this is coming from someone who has been sober for 2 years). Nobody thought I was an alcoholic because everyone got drunk...sure, I got more drunk, but "we've all had those crazy nights". It's hard to have perspective when you're that close to the tornado. In this particular instance everyone realized how bad the situation was when his Mom was on the phone. That was when absolute reality hit for most of the players at the table.

I know Rich has a legitimate gambling problem. I spend a year fending him off from my game and banning him left and right. I got his brother on the phone the last time he impulsively showed up to my place (the time before this story occurred)...he drove here and dragged him out. But there's certain nights where he is absolutely going to find a way to lose it. He's going to gamble. I'd rather him do it with a host who rebates him 25% of his losses and forces him to Uber home. Lastly, his brother told me "let him gamble tonight" the night that this story took place (his brother actually showed up to play with him on this night).

What stakes are these? 1000bb pot are fairly uncommon at every home game I've played.

Also, 500bb buy ins are extremely rare...in fact, I've never seen one at a home game.

And finally, I play a lot of home games and rarely has it gone past 4 am...

I must be playing with the wrong degenerates!

$1-$2 NLHE, with no table max.

Definitely encourages post flop play. Likely to be back Sunday night.