Casual home game with self dealers. Normally if a flop is pre-exposed, we put the natural turn and river face down then shuffle the flop back in and redo flop without burning a card.

Here is what happened: flop came out good, turn was exposed early so we burned and put the natural river card face down, shuffled in the exposed turn card. In the meantime, someone accidentally flipped the natural river card that was on the table thinking it would be the turn.

I let this be the turn, then had next card on top of the deck be river. Was this ok to do? There were conflicting opinions on this.

I try to follow TDA rules but this wasnt really covered for this many fk ups lol.

Sounds like you did it right by accident. River becomes the turn card. Premature card is shuffled back in. New river is dealt with no burn card.
You should never have cards face down on the table that will play in the hand at a later time.
You are doing the pre- exposed flop situation wrong.
You will find both of these situations covered in the Live Casino Poker section.