Conversation that ensued after I sat down at a Step 5 Higher table. I fixed it to make it more readable. It starts out a little slow, but I'm just reeling him in. I spice it up towards the end....
Dealer: skinsftbl has joined the table.
Dealer: Waiting for 9 more players to start the game. BB0UJA: skinsftbl wats up skinsftbl: sup BB0UJA: not doing to well man skinsftbl: sorry to hear BB0UJA: dropped 5k today at the steps and 2k nl tables BB0UJA: hows it going for you skinsftbl: medium.. havent played today yet BB0UJA: ohh BB0UJA: do you remember me BB0UJA: do you recognize my name? skinsftbl: nope BB0UJA: weve played a few times before BB0UJA: im the guy from the leaderboard skinsftbl: k BB0UJA: this your first 5k tableha? skinsftbl: yeah, it is BB0UJA: yeah ive never seen you here BB0UJA: ive seen you at the steps a few times i think BB0UJA: the 1k step skinsftbl: yeah, true BB0UJA: anyway skins skinsftbl: anyways BB0UJA: i came to ask you for a big favor if you can skinsftbl: k BB0UJA: i came to see if you can loan me 400 until tommarow evening BB0UJA: reason being i do western union and my cash wontbe in until tommarow BB0UJA: i mean if you can do it i will pay you back with interest BB0UJA: what you think skins BB0UJA: can you float me? skinsftbl: how do you not have $400? skinsftbl: I'm confused BB0UJA: i do western union thats why BB0UJA: i dont do bank transfer BB0UJA: on a bad day like this id probably make party players rich lol skinsftbl: i mean in your account though BB0UJA: i do western union to control myself BB0UJA: i dropped a bundle today skinsftbl: oh.. I feel ya. good idea about the western union to cool down BB0UJA: yeah BB0UJA: i do western union to control myself BB0UJA: i just went right now skinsftbl: how much did you have before your bad run? BB0UJA: i usually have like 7k in account minimum BB0UJA: but ive been cashing out all month skinsftbl: that's a little low for the steps, don't you think? Or is that for self control? BB0UJA: just opened me a wholesale bussiness in michigan skinsftbl: nice BB0UJA: 7k i play alot more 200s though BB0UJA: maybe 1 1k step BB0UJA: a day BB0UJA: but yeah thats it skinsftbl: oh, ok. sound about right BB0UJA: or i would qualify from the lower steps skinsftbl: dude, I dunno. I've been where you're at before and I wish I had thought to wait a couple days skinsftbl: hard to turn around when the cards aren'y hittin you BB0UJA: true but thing is BB0UJA: i want to play a multi special tonight BB0UJA: i mean if you can float me skins BB0UJA: i will pay you back 450 BB0UJA: 50 interest for a day BB0UJA: 25k here is not bad BB0UJA: are you there? skinsftbl: hey man, from one poker player to another, I think you gotta sit today out skinsftbl: I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself BB0UJA: i have to qualify for a tournament thats why BB0UJA: yeah i know but thing is i need to qualify for a multi tables tourney BB0UJA: if i dont qualify today i dont get it skinsftbl: man, i dunno skinsftbl: what tourney? BB0UJA: ppm BB0UJA: sup satelite skinsftbl: yeah.. I mean, do you think you can play right? or will you be off your game? BB0UJA: yeah i think i can play right BB0UJA: i mean im up overall BB0UJA: im sure ill get it back tommarow BB0UJA: when i go to the 200 games BB0UJA: i mostly a 200 sng player skinsftbl: you said it yourself man, western union. I don't wanna lose another player to tilt BB0UJA: do really well in the 200s skinsftbl: I mean, I'm trying to think about your well-being BB0UJA: naw man BB0UJA: skins i understand you feel me but i need to get three packages for the ppm thats why skinsftbl: BB.. you have a gambling problem skinsftbl: you need to get help skinsftbl: It happens to the best of us BB0UJA: trust me i dont BB0UJA: honestly BB0UJA: im up 800k on party man BB0UJA: i play alot of poker skinsftbl: that's what an addict would say man BB0UJA: 800k BB0UJA: check my stats on prophecy skinsftbl: I was there one time... listen to this story skinsftbl: I was playing way too high for my bankroll BB0UJA: ok skinsftbl: and I lost it all in one day. skinsftbl: I borrowed 10k from a good friend, who was pretty wealthy BB0UJA: k BB0UJA: wow skinsftbl: lost it within 3 hours. BB0UJA: wow skinsftbl: since the money didnt mean that much to him, I tried to see if there was anything I could do skinsftbl: like, instead of paying him back BB0UJA: ohh skinsftbl: cuz he's the type of guy that likes to see people do stupid stuff for money BB0UJA: lol skinsftbl: so, he told me to eat 1/2 lb of my own poop skinsftbl: no joke BB0UJA: ok and what did you do? BB0UJA: dam BB0UJA: XXXX that skinsftbl: and I did it. but thats not all skinsftbl: he made fun of me like, all the time skinsftbl: from that day on skinsftbl: and one time he was gonna tell my girl about it BB0UJA: wow' skinsftbl: and, i really didnt want her to know BB0UJA: yeah skinsftbl: I stabbed him dude. skinsftbl: i XXXXing stabbed my friend skinsftbl: he's alive tho... but he can't walk BB0UJA: get the fuc out of here skinsftbl: and he sued me hard BB0UJA: and? skinsftbl: I played poker for 5 years and paid the settlement skinsftbl: spent 2 years in jail first tho BB0UJA: how much was it? skinsftbl: 500k BB0UJA: dam BB0UJA: but the guy cant walk skinsftbl: so dude, don't play today. You might eat poop and stab a dude BB0UJA: aand hes a millionaire probably BB0UJA: comon man BB0UJA: for 400 dollars BB0UJA: i have my own established bussiness bro skinsftbl: is $400 worth eating poop and stabbing your best XXXXing friend! skinsftbl: ? BB0UJA: but thing is my cash wont be in until tommarow BB0UJA: naw man BB0UJA: i will pay you tommarow bro skinsftbl: no. I won't let you face what I face. BB0UJA: honestly BB0UJA: lol BB0UJA: how am i going to face what you did skinsftbl: learn from my mistakes BB0UJA: lol skinsftbl: also... BB0UJA: what you make me eat my XXXX for 400 dollars BB0UJA: would skinsftbl: stop this stupid scam skinsftbl: moran
(long pause) BB0UJA: ]skings BB0UJA: you think im scamming you' BB0UJA: thats the dumest story ive ever hurd by the way
(he left)
skinsftbl: and one time he was gonna tell my girl about it
BB0UJA: wow'
skinsftbl: and, i really didnt want her to know
BB0UJA: yeah
skinsftbl: I stabbed him dude.
skinsftbl: i XXXXing stabbed my friend
skinsftbl: he's alive tho... but he can't walk
OMG!! Im in tears as well, i havent laughed so hard in about a year. What a doomass, it actually sounded like he believed you,lol, thats what made it so funny.