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09-09-2017 , 12:17 PM
Wow, is Florida every gorgeous!! Between the trees and the Gulf, and the Ocean ... you and biggerboat sure are living the life there in paradise Can understand why so many Canadian want to retire there when they have the chance ... even *with* the occasional hurricane happening

Gosh, this sounds like a tremendous opportunity for the bike delivery business!! With people not having supplies in their rooms, and maybe not wanting to venture out, especially if some stores have closed and they don't want to have to wander around the neighborhood trying to find things. Maybe some of the other bike deliverers have even left town too, so more business for you guys?

Glad to hear you and Sven will be out of harm's way of the hurricane!! Incredible that it could go all across Florida, and still have the steam to be wreaking havoc all the way into the mainland The road conditions do sound worrisome though - guess you've got the unicorn to protect you now Will have to wish you and your friends safe travels when it comes to braving the slippery roads - hopefully you and your friends are all able to stay accident-free, so you'll all be in prime shape to make the best of the bad weather and bank lots of $$!

Best of luck to you all Hank!! Wishing you all safe travels!!

Last edited by TrustySam; 09-09-2017 at 12:24 PM.
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09-10-2017 , 02:57 PM
Yo my Brother Sam, always nice to hear you offer kind words. I actually have a blood brother named Sam so most Sams get shown love except for maybe David Berkowitz but he was only the Son of Sam.

Yesterday's JJ's was great on so many levels, wind steadily built all day, no precipitation, good fun inshop customers, some of my favorite fellow riders, and a Yuuuuuge bonus.

The franchisee Marc owns 6 stores in the Tallahassee region and is a truly nice guy decided to shut the store down at 10pm, this news didn't arrive at my ears until 8:30pm at which point I was prepared to cover for my boy Vince who stayed up all night prepping his place for Irma. JJ's on Gaines will be closed today and tomorrow so in light of that they would have to toss all of the meats, bread, and veg in the cold table. My manager asked if
Me or the other rider wanted any and Justin took the bulk of the cheese as he's vegetarian manager took some turkey and that left me with about 20 Lbs of cold cuts, bread and fixings.
This is the haul laid out at the world renowned " International Book Mine" which is directly across from JJ's it's a used book shop in what looks like a tiny airplane hanger that deserves a whole chapter of it's own. Made some sammies for the owner and his live in help James & Larrrrry who hold down the interminably chaotic book mine. I've spent many hours there hanging out playing chess with a former employee Brendan who just happens to be an expert (2200) player who would beat the snot out of me even spotting multiple pieces. I'm a mediocre at best play and we played dozens of matches had my moments came close but he never took a dive and remains the bookmine champion.


So after breaking bread with my neighbors at the bookmine I sauntered a whole half block over to the "Warehouse" which is pretty much a pool hall bar/honkey tonk to battle on the felt and distribute the remaining bounty. There's a guy there named Sam who is an absolute sniper on the 9 ball table and he typically relieves me of $5-$10 at each encounter. He never asks to play for money it's always my idea then he crushes me and I quit playing for stakes. Good news is I beat him for the first time in a non $ match it felt Great! Eventually found some takers for the meat I was toting around some lady there gave me $10 because I said " im not selling this but I do work for tips!"

Also earlier in the day around 1pm I went to take the trash out to the dumpster and found a gigantic blob of uncooked wildly over proofed bread dough that the previous night manager or one his charges failed to deposit in the dumpster. This blob had absorbed a decent amount of water and was getting swollen from the yeast, I was the perfect man for the job.

Blob weight approx 60lbs my solution after some contemplating was to take a large cardboard potato chip box, roll blob in and hoist it into the rubbish bin. Worked like a charm.

Storm prepping here got my lantern, gallon of wine, pouch of Bugler, ratchet, and other odds and ends going to ride it out either at the book mine or Stadium center the retail/apartment complex that JJ's occupies. I'll be sure to get some video of the conditions from the parking deck which I reckon is very safe indeed. GL all Floridians, shalom.
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09-12-2017 , 10:56 AM
Chris bussed in from Lowell Mass and is getting ready to do some cycle touring on this gnarly electric assist E Bike.

Rode out the storm at my coworker Vince's place and the International Book Mine which is owned and operated by my good friend J who occasionally plays poker for no stakes with me mostly Omaha and NLH. I've gotten a few good books from the old Mine currently reading "Victory at any Cost" a biography of Vietnamese General Vo Nguyen Giap truly remarkable man and story.

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09-12-2017 , 01:40 PM
A big part of my waking hours is spent listening to the radio mostly FM sometimes internet radio, or podcasts. Here are my two radios the Nokia phone I bought in Cambodia 5 years ago and have been using ever since, very durable, decent FM reception even has a flashlight function and calculator. The Etón is what I use around the hovel when my Nokia is dead or earbuds are a hindrance. Great radio, lots of programming I could talk about....coast to coast AM with George Noory, preferred Art Bell but love the late night nutters calling in irregardless of who hosting. They carry the Alex Jones show on our local right wingers station FREEDOM 93.3 fm also the Dr. Michael "Savage" Wiener who is a botanist author and multimillionaire. Savage is my first and favorite wing nut started listening to his show on the first transcontinental bike tour with my buddy Kris Moore.

I can only take that goobly goop in short doses so mostly when working I cycle between WvFS the commercial free FSU station which plays a variety of music, 99.9 hank fm which plays "anything" but focuses on the 80's, WFSQ our classical station, and a few other pop, rock /r&b commercial frequencies.


Partied too hard during the storm so I took the day off to party more and treat my alcohol withdrawal with hair of dog.

Saw some random people with a pair of dogs in a pickup bed reckoned lil ole Svėn could handle himself with a big wrinkly bull dog.
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09-12-2017 , 11:20 PM
Originally Posted by HankTheBank

Saw some random people with a pair of dogs in a pickup bed reckoned lil ole Svėn could handle himself with a big wrinkly bull dog.

Sven's distant relative: "please refrain from wiping your drool on my shoulder, amigo"
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09-14-2017 , 04:57 AM
Sam I loved the Rob Ford dancing GIF and video of crazy mofo's driving in the bike lane. I ride my bike just about anywhere including inside apartment complexes so don't get too tight about non bikes in bike lane unless it's a motor scooter they need to have their own lane too!

Svėn's doing great but he needs a bath, I need to take better care of myself because I'm losing my mind.

This photo was taken over a year ago, me piloting the Bicycle House beach cruiser tandem with Jay in the stoker seat he hadn't been on a bicycle in over 30 years was a fun time. Speaking of beach cruisers I put a little down payment on a Fuji beach cruiser at the bike shop opposite Jimmy John's it's a single speed freewheel bike with coaster brake but I'm having them customize it. Gonna put front and back hand brakes on it in addition to the coaster brake plus a $75 leather brooks saddle B17 edition blue leather which matches the frame. Should have it paid off soon, thing will stop like a champion.

Bike polo tomorrow, time to set up the GoPro finally get some footage of me getting pwnt by Mr. Bob....

Another year plus photo of me using the Bicycle House trailer to transport an oven. Best big trailer ever it's a "Bill and Teds" by Surly.

Last edited by HankTheBank; 09-14-2017 at 05:23 AM.
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09-14-2017 , 12:37 PM

Totally like your concept of using a bike. I see it very similar. You can transport a lot with a bike trailer.
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09-14-2017 , 09:32 PM
Originally Posted by lapka

Totally like your concept of using a bike. I see it very similar. You can transport a lot with a bike trailer.
Thanks Lapka, bicycles can be tools, toys, vehicles and for me refuge from mental stressors.

Did some dumpster diving today and plucked out a whole bunch of different artificial flowers which I use to decorate my pens just like you'd see in an office so people, coworkers are less likely to jack your pen.

This is what a flower pen looks like when it's resting in my helmet:

Really like flowers as they are symbolic of reproduction, peace, and generally pleasant to look also some customers get a kick out of it and they were my favorite special item in Mario Bro's.

I've not been dumpster diving as much lately but bicycles are perfect for it as they are quiet, easy to maneuver and generally stealthy. A guy named "Buckskin Kyle" one of my first tight acquaintances here in Tallahassee is something of an expert and turned me on to it. One time at Trader Joe's he found a 30+ count case of Chocolate bacon ganache/caramel bars (full size) that got tossed because they had mislabeled the ingredients but were otherwise totally safe to eat. At $3-$5 a bar that's quite the lucrative find by my standards.

After spring semester when the FSU students vacate the dorms and rental units there are great conditions for salvaging food, trinkets and household staples such as cleaning supplies, brooms, vacuums, and non perishable food stuffs. I'm pretty good at climbing so a 40 yard roll off dumpster is kind of a cinch to dig around in although sometimes they can be smelly, wet and hazardous.

Bike polo got cancelled which was very disappointing but I did hang out with sensei Bob and a few other players at one of two local community bicycle shops called Krank It Up. Got to show some chemistry major from Brasil how to do some basic repairs to his Walmart dual suspension mountain (?) bike which was nice even though I'm a relative amateur mechanic still learning slowly.

Any readers familiar with "Florida Man" because we've had a few local instances that probably fall into that category one involving a stolen car from a nearby trailer park which got retaken by force after the owner spotted it driving around. Him and his cohort jump in a good old Dodge Truck chased the thieves down and shot out one of the tired with a pistol causing the bandits to crash and flee on foot only guy to not get arrested was the cars passenger who managed to successfully flee on foot. Thinking about starting an OOT thread in honor of "Florida Man" stories there's just so much gold.

Almost been on the wrong end of some Florida Man scenarios in my life, always dug Chuck Shepard' "News of the Weird" so maybe the "Land of the Flowers" is the right fit for me State wise.

Last edited by HankTheBank; 09-14-2017 at 09:44 PM.
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09-15-2017 , 07:05 PM
Hey guys and gals it's not so often you meet a celebrity at work, me and calisthenics KING Richard Simmons on the 18th floor of the state capital building.

Ab Fab
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09-15-2017 , 07:06 PM
Hey guys and gals it's not so often you meet a celebrity at work, me and calisthenics KING Richard Simmons on the 18th floor of the state capital building.

Ab Fab
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09-16-2017 , 08:45 AM
Sorry about the duplicate post sometimes the old iPhone acts Up looking forward to having my laptop back so I can blog more coherently.

Last night got completely trashed and was playing some $5 sngs at the local saloon "Cabo's", original incident was with me HU vs chip leader and he's insisting the dealer button pays big blind. I have no patience for cheaters, film flammers but I'll make an exception for an ignoramous if they legitimately are confused. We had to google rules of HU poker to set this guy straight but by then I'd already told him the parking lot is wide open and if you'd like to check it out I'll be the guide.

Second incident occurred an hour later when another guy double cut the deck after it was shuffled. Told those guys to give me my money back or go to the parking lot. It was a $10 SNG this time but I've played for heaps and it's about game integrity these guys don't know how to say "I'm wrong " and it really makes me mad. Nobody wants to visit said parking lot and I leave, misplaced my stunner shades in the process which is just salt in the Wound.

I hate fighting, but will fight to the death it comes down to that. Even over $10 not about the money it's about R.E.S.P.E.C.T
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09-18-2017 , 10:25 AM
Last year my younger brother was kind enough to ship me this very sturdy
Martin 107 bicycle from Vietnam, it's too small for me and a slightly different model than i rode extensively over there but still fun to rip around on.

Been listening to a lot of Arthur "Blind" Blake's recordings, he was rambling, gambling, womanizer who allegedly had a nearly insatiable appetite for the old ethyl hydrate. Really enjoy the amazing ragtime style guitar work, humorous and sad lyrics and subjects he sings about.

Also "Poker Woman Blues" is probably my favorite Blind Blake tune, having trouble embedding that one for some odd reason.
Police Dog Blues really making me think of doing a big bike tour and relocate to somewhere new, kind of in a rut drinking too much creating chaos being a knucklehead kind of like the "Ape" from what might be the best episode of "Bonanza!" Out there.

Watched this with my neighbor David in his cavernous and landscaped tent site which in thicket nearby on my landlords property line. Guy pays $100/month has a power cord, wifi, and lots of privacy.

He carved out the azaleas with a nice sharp machete.

David with one of his pee jugs.

The following day we watched a dynamite episode of McGuyver where in one scene he fixes a little boys bmx bike by taking the small vanity license plate off the seat and fashions it into a chain guard. Later on buys the kid a chromed out super high spoke count BMX which greatly pleases his new pal.

David likes to imbibe the Bacardi gold a whole bunch and gets around mostly by bicycle so we get along swimmingly, he has from time to time offered me free massage service which I haven't taken him up on yet.

Last edited by HankTheBank; 09-18-2017 at 10:46 AM.
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09-18-2017 , 03:23 PM

This has become my favorite poker song, I too have come close to losing my shack via poker never played for ladies maybe someday.
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09-30-2017 , 11:02 PM
Got some footage with the GoPro, more to come.

Here's the google maps route for this delivery:

Suspended the champagne campaign for 13 days but it's hard to stay away in an environment that celebrates excessive consumption of adult beverages. From the front door of a customer's apartment:

A member of the polo club moved away and had a bunch of food/household items they didn't pack so I took what I could in the B.O.B trailer which also doubles as a kickstand.

Painted the lawn gnome at "The Plant" our local DIY art space which is really cool it was started by a retired professor of fine arts from FSU.

The B.O.B trailer has been getting a lot of miles, here it is carrying a $150 catering order which included 10 medium fountain drinks, 10 bottled waters, 15 bags of chips, 12 chocolate chip cookies and 24 piece platter which was good for a $22 tip.

I use the bob on sundays to transport my gear to the tennis polo courts, Svėn loves surfing on the trailer.

Speaking of bicycle polo I lost a "chain bet" during Thursday pickup games which meant I had to wear this fake gold chain for 5 days. Posing with one of my favorite colleagues Daniel who is wearing the unicorn helmet because he forgot his that day. The chain is made mostly of nickel which apparently I'm allergic to so after 3 days I got a wicked rash and had to stop, my sentence will be commuted to 3 days of a pooka shell necklace.

The polo "A" team is participating in the World championships of hard court bicycle polo
this week, my goal is to be on that team next year.
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10-02-2017 , 12:16 AM
Originally Posted by HankTheBank
Got some footage with the GoPro, more to come.

Here's the google maps route for this delivery:

Your customers and your boss must be super happy that you ride so fast! The food must get there in record time

That's a really nice service for a restaurant to have, with so many students in the area, who maybe don't cook and don't have a car? Did the first customer give a tip?

Looks like one of those days in the second vid - hopefully those don't happen very often?

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10-03-2017 , 04:25 PM
Originally Posted by TrustySam
Your customers and your boss must be super happy that you ride so fast! The food must get there in record time

That's a really nice service for a restaurant to have, with so many students in the area, who maybe don't cook and don't have a car? Did the first customer give a tip?

Looks like one of those days in the second vid - hopefully those don't happen very often?

My Brother Sam, thank you for the kind words. My manager and coworkers do love me as I am not only the oldest rider but also the one riding the heaviest bike with the lowest delivery time. Recently I've abused that status terribly being sent home twice in a 3 weeks for visible alcohol intoxication.

The first customer had a cash bill of $8.50, he handed me a $10 and let me keep the change. Second video was kind of unique, most of the angry bro encounters occur out on the streets.

Got suspended for two weeks on account of my abhorrent drunken behavior, slamming pints between deliveries, buying boxes of cheap wine at the CVS, and generally being a maniac. Not sure if I'll return even if they would have me back, been the fastest there for two years and by a wide margin. Maybe I should quit my JJ's job and seek employment in London or S.Fran as a cycle courier big shout out to LuckyJimm. Currently at 3795 deliveries for the year @ $12/delivery that's close to 50k. Another troubling development is my belligerence has increased, I'm really terrified of going back to a correctional facility. Only redeeming factor is the captive audience for chess games. Violence is utter ****, but when Mr. Hyde is on the loose these things tend to happen sooner or later I will be in a spot that isn't so easy to weasel out of.

Thinking about what to do with my two weeks off, might ride up to Fort Benning GA just for kicks its about 200 one way, getting psychiatric help has been hard my next appointment is on the 18th of Oct hope they will prescibe me antabuse because at this point drinking alcohol is like juggling running chainsaws.

Last edited by HankTheBank; 10-03-2017 at 04:44 PM.
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10-03-2017 , 05:16 PM
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10-03-2017 , 05:42 PM
It sounds like this week's been pretty rough - haven't had much exposure to the issue, except from what have read ... however have read that addiction is a real struggle because of the chemical dependency? It must be incredibly frustrating to have your mind want to do something, and have your body want to do the opposite ...

That's encouraging to hear that you've got something of a support system lined up, and that there may be medication that might help ...

Hang in there Hank!! Stay safe!!
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10-03-2017 , 10:46 PM
Tom Petty was from Gainesville, WVFS is playing some deep cuts....

This one is my favorite,

chemical dependency is a tricky ball of wax, at the onset of this latest binge I really didnt want it but felt compelled to do so it was like an out of body experience where I just submitted to the booze. Tom Petty was a reformed heroin addict, really interesting guy too bad he had to go.
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10-03-2017 , 11:34 PM
Maybe one thing that everybody has in common is that we're all doing what we can in life - and guess we'll all have our own unique individual journeys?

I so appreciated that time you came into my thread and wrote that nice message of support that time when someone else was doing the opposite ... we're all rooting for you Hank - take care!!
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10-04-2017 , 10:32 AM
I totally like this alternative vibe that comes from your log. I like bikes and greenish low consumption life.

I wonder do you want to stop or to continue drinking?I mean to continue is totally an option, you just need to think about in which way, what are the consequences, weigh it against staying sober and make a decision in a sober moment.
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10-04-2017 , 07:44 PM

I really love your log! It's great hearing about alternative lifestyles. I have never done dumpster diving but I have gotten some great things from beside the road that people have dumped for council pick up. Furniture, decorative plant pots, garden tools etc. It's incredible what people throw out, all the stuff I have gotten has been in very good condition. It seems incredibly wasteful to me to have stuff like this go to landfills.

Food waste is a huge issue. I feel a bit sad really thinking of all the people going hungry when there is such an epidemic of food waste. It's very wrong.
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10-24-2017 , 01:39 PM
Sam, thanks for your kind words it certainly makes an impact to hear/read that people are rooting for you especially in times of distress. Something that really brought me a bit of joy was hearing the fond remembrances of Gord Downie on Studio Q this past week, prior to him revealing his diagnosis I had never heard of the "Tragically Hip" but really enjoyed hearing stories about his approach to life and how he impacted people in a positive way.

My favorite story was about how he arrived at a concert venue only to find the band's trailer encircled in a gated fence. The story teller commented that the fence would be short lived, sure enough 15 minutes later the band was out there taking it down. I understand fences and barriers have legitimate uses but overall feel they are overused, and they hinder my shortcuts on deliveries!

Hearing about how he really went out in the last year of his life making a big push for reconciliation between indigenous peoples and the government/population of Canada was pretty inspiring, our neighbors to the North have much to offer if we look!

Originally Posted by lapka
I totally like this alternative vibe that comes from your log. I like bikes and greenish low consumption life.

I wonder do you want to stop or to continue drinking?I mean to continue is totally an option, you just need to think about in which way, what are the consequences, weigh it against staying sober and make a decision in a sober moment.
Thanks Lapka, for health reasons staying sober for at least a few months seems best. Ever since the problem was identified seemingly the only option offered/promoted was 12 step recovery groups which are certainly an excellent resource and have a long track record of helping people profoundly. To my understanding addiction is a mental illness and having been in and out of 12 step groups for several years feel like it's time to approach it from a medical angle and go from there, so I've got a prescription for Naltrexone and plan on deploying it at some point in the hopes it can allow me to drink moderately via "chemical extinction".

The prevailing wisdom seems to be once a cucumber becomes a pickle it's nigh' impossible to go back but it seems there's some compelling evidence to the contrary so I'll go down that path once my brain & body get healed up a bit more.

Rexx, thanks the food waste issue is really bad here largely because people are so disconnected from food production in my opinion. If people knew what a chore harvesting onions, oranges, and strawberries were they wouldn't be so cavalier about tossing them in the rubbish bin! Also seeing animals slaughtered and butchered is something most people are not exposed to nowadays which is unfortunate because seeing that might help drive down meat consumption and waste.

The two week suspension handed down was elevated to an indefinite suspension by the store's GM who says I can come back when my head is on straight. This is probably the only reasonable outcome as allowing me to come back after multiple instances of extreme intoxication would set a bad precedent and only serve to enable my poor choices.

So in the meantime I've gone freelance delivering food for UberEATS which has been fun, challenging and less profitable. So far I've done about 150 deliveries, barnstorming all over town toting everything from McFlurries to multiple pizza pies in my home made thermal box.

Took some insulation/cushioning off an oven my landlord has sitting in his appliance graveyard and lined a home made cardboard box with it, slapped some high visibility duct tape on that sucker which other than not being waterproof works very well.

Doing UberEATS allows me to work whenever and wherever I choose, also there are no military style cleaning checklists, receipts to sign and carry, or dress code.

Jimmy John's had a very defined delivery area, max radius was about 1 mile with UberEATS I might accept a pickup location two miles away and have to cycle another 2 to the destination in areas that carry heavy traffic and occasionally high speeds. My mental map of Tallahassee is expanding rapidly, I'm meeting new people, interacting with a bevy of cuuuute college girls who staff the pickup spots and getting a much more intense workout from the cycling as the thermal box is far from aerodynamic. Soon I'll make a better version using coroplast and zip ties which will be lightweight, durable, and more water resistant.

The flexibility of when I work is really the best aspect, if circumstances sour my mood no problem I can turn off the application on my phone and go do something fun like play basketball.

Big obvious downside is there's no hourly wage and the compensation for deliveries is based mostly off distance not total amount of check. People can tip you on the app but it's somewhat rare same with cash tips although I have been hit with a few $5 tips on top of what Uber pays out. The layout of the city isn't really favorable to bicycles and by the expression of some folks you'd think I'd shown up on a horse as most UberEATS gets delivered by car or scooter.

Also there is less pressure to make good top times, I'm not competing with anyone other than myself which allows me to stop and smell the roses or talk to a group of fellow drunks day drinking at the gas station next to a pickup location. The guy laying down obscured by Mr. Awesomeshirt was trying to sell his watercolor paintings for $5, normally I'd have bought one but I'm so skint that it seemed unwise.

Lot's of interesting stuff has happened, two days ago in a packed Lotsa Pizza parlour two bros started fighting 10 ft away from me so when they got in a grapple I sprang into action and pulled one off and restrained him so things didn't escalate into a full on beat down as the other guy was about 6'2'' 240 of bulging muscles. After that situation cooled down the bulky dude was outside on the sidewalk jawing with another bro when out of nowhere he hauls off lands a thunderous open palm slap WWF style before walking off.

I'm waiting on an order of bicycle part before embarking on my next little mini tour which will probably be "Sventury" ride somewhere cool.

Obligatory Sven picture

Going to do my best to tow the line and stay out of the saloons, last night this song came on and made me want to go out and "dance holes in my shoes" funny how something like a song or seeing neon lights can fire up that urge it will be gauntlet of triggers but bring it on

Last edited by HankTheBank; 10-24-2017 at 01:57 PM.
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10-24-2017 , 05:45 PM
Uber and AirBnb are pretty awesome for the opportunities they've provided for people to go into business for themselves - and it's so great for everybody to have access to so many more choices.

The freedom to set your own hours sounds especially awesome Sucks that people aren't using the new tip feature too much though - guess maybe everybody got used to not tipping, or something? :/

Sven looks like he may have been a Hell's Angels in a previous life - look at him on the back of that bike!

Really appreciated so much the support and encouragement you extended to me when others were offering the opposite Hank - guess we're all just trying to make our way through life, with all it's highs and lows and adventures in between ... here's hoping we all manage to always land on our feet and find our way, and have a good time along the way

So great to hear you're doing well!! Go Hank!!!
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10-31-2017 , 09:08 PM
Built a new thermal box as the prototype had gotten pretty haggard, this ones not quite big enough for pizzas but they account for so little of the deliveries that it should be ok for a while. It's made from coraplast lined with fabric fastened together with zip ties.

The church signs have always been something fun on my travels wish I stopped to take more pictures there have been some funny ones.

Hung out with my manager from Jimmy John's he indicated they would like me back permitted I've got my act together which would be nice as the hourly at UberEATS seems to be around 2/3 of what I was making previously.

They offer some promotions starting Friday night where you can make extra money by completing a certain number of trips from 9pm Friday to 4:am Monday. This past weekend it was $40 for 30 deliveries in that span which I missed out on due to a gallon of paisano. Uber also ups their payments during weekends so you can make up to 1.9x the normal rate for deliveries which is nice but try getting in and out of a campus McDonald's Saturday night in a timely fashion.

It's Halloween and not too cold so the ladies are out hitting the town festooned in all manner of scandalous outfits which is a nice bonus.
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