Rasta,

False. Even if I did really like or dislike you, my advice would be exactly the same.

Prejudice against virgins exists just like prejudice against people with acne, gingers, short people, bald people, stutterers and a host of other things that people get teased about. Equating it to things like racism is absurd.

Huh? Do you not know how common it is for people to see shrinks? I think you are a lazy and entitled person who also may well suffer from depression, like many, many people do.

Rasta,

Yet when given suggestions on things to do to increase your chances, your response is that you don't have time.

Now we're talking

Agree and respect everything you say (minus entitled, I'm really really not asking for much from life)

Thing is, I was kind of hoping that I could get a job that would at least afford me moving out before I attempted the podcast and/or the blog.

I feel like investing my time in job applications, as I'm doing tonight, is a better use of my time than trying to learn podcasting.

I mean if I got on this graduate scheme. http://www.charity-works.co.uk/

(no real reason not to send you the link)

I'd most definitely do the podcast and blog *whilst* on the placement for whichever charity I got given. That would be ideal.

Oh, and btw, you say I spend a lot of time posting here but honestly, it takes barely a minute to rattle things off when you're just talking and saying whatever you're thinking.

All those other things are near-universally regarded as bad, bad things to make fun of and/or discriminate against. Virgins on the other hand are expected to suck it up, even when they're further sullied as fundamentally bad people when the next Elliot Rodger or whoever pops up.

And of course, we haven't even mentioned the loneliness, low self-esteem and internal isolation that comes with a lack of romantic affection. Anyway, I'll feel a lot of solidarity with them for years to come, but that debate between us has run its course, we've obviously reached our impasse.

Right four out of five of those questions done.

**** knows why, but crapping out my most negative and socially-destructive thoughts on 2+2 and seeing them get smacked into oblivion does me the world of good. Just the knowledge that I'm not suffering alone really does help me work harder.

I've got a thicker skin than you realise. This is all good. Gonna knock this application out and then hit the hay.

Point taken, although 100 percent of my knowledge of you comes from this and the sexodus thread, which mostly involve you discussing your insecurities -- of which these are two. So it's rather less of a straw-man from my perspective than from yours.

I missed you in London by a few days, but I would have been happy to buy you a pint IRL, an offer which of course remains open when I return.

We are not. I really don't want to start a politard derail. My view: The general black view of prejudice against blacks is doubtless different than the white view, but I don't think either one is intrinsically more valuable than the other. How about gathering objective statistical evidence and trying to actually understand reality? There was a long article on the idea that blacks on a major highway here in the states got speeding tickets more often -- and it turns out that blacks on that particular road actually sped more often, but that point took a fair amount of study to suss out. Anyway, my point is that the race of the observer doesn't award extra perception or analysis or correctness points. IMO anyway.

Seems to me that's missing the point. People may care, but you can 100 per cent avoid the problem by never telling them. That you have the complete ability to opt out of the problem whenever you want makes all the difference.

I'm entirely with Rasta on this point. I suspect that an IRL conversation with Rasta would be interesting -- and probably fun.

Ah legend!

Didn't expect anyone to take me up on that, I'd be well excited though!

I really have spewed some unbelievably personal **** on here that I wouldn't dream of sharing with even my closest friends (not because I don't trust them or because they'd react badly, but because it'd just put a tonne of pressure on them that I wouldn't want to inflict them with!) but it'd be a fascinating experience to meet someone who knows all and sundry about the worst of me!

Finished the application by the way. Feels good to have knocked that out in one night even if I don't get anywhere with it.

(Give it a few more weeks of doing the same thing over and over however and I'll feel like necking myself at Dignitas again...lolz)

I guess its a little different from the stereotype for me as I wasn't a virgin in the traditional sense (i.e lack of a willing partner - of that those there were about half-a-dozen very clear-cut ones in Uni).

My problem was that I suffered from ED and because of that, was so clearly nervous and clueless that any girl I was with would have instantly cottoned onto the fact that I was a virgin based on my actions (as opposed to someone who simply fails to find a willing partner due to being physically undesirable but can rock 'n' roll from the word go once he does manage to find someone).

I tried to have sex for the first time when I was 19, couldn't get it up, tried it again later that year with a different girl (both of them were external to my social group so there was 1) no blowback and 2) I could just let people assume I'd got laid just fine) and failed again.

After that I declined to have sex with a girl I really liked who was indeed within our social group as I knew that I'd have to reveal that I was a virgin and there'd be a clear path from her>best friend>her best friend's bf > everyone else.

I was right to do so, as when I finally gave it another go with a girl in a different social group and failed yet again, then it all came down with all of that lot finding out that I was a 21-year-old virgin, and honestly, I lost a lot of respect.

Anyway, the Sexodus thread has been done and I really can look back on that as one of the few challenges in life that I've truly BTFO. I love shagging my gf now and it turns out I'm actually really good at it!

I also think I'll be completely capable of getting quite a bit of variety in my love life once that relationship runs its course, so I feel well-equipped for that too.

With Brazil and sex accomplished as well as having got over a year's experience under my belt in my job, I'm feeling a lot more positive about things now.

I just need to get my driving licence, get *some* kind of a job that will allow me to move out, and I can hopefully start making some real progress in life. I just need a job that'll pay me £24k or so in order to move out!

Howard, how about instead of buying him a pint, you hook him up with a job in the London office

What do you have to lose? I've met a lot of insanely delusional people (grew up in a religious cult, complete with extreme sexual repression and a deep undercurrent of sadistic "discipline" of children, good times)...but you are at least as bad at perceiving reality as any of them.

Rastamouse, introspection is not a good look for you. Thinking is not a good look for you. Time to kill some brain cells, my friend.

Edit Oops, forgot to add my credentials: lost virginity at 27, have been (in various combinations, at various times) overweight, acne-ridden, broke, friendless and (ok, always) short.

But are you successful ? Because just being a social misfit will not be enough, I tried.

Rasta, you are not putting any weight on the virgin thing anymore right now right ? I think you should leave it behind you, its just another subject you can dwell on and possibly 'blame' for things.

Oh God no. I have left it behind just fine.

I only really addressed the issue as an example of the stubbornness of certain posters who came out with memorable little doozys like 'no-one cares if you're a virgin'

So I must have missed this podcast thing, is it something you have done/are doing or something you want to do ? Any specific subjects you like writing about ?

A little heads-up. I've made it through to the psychometric test section of the charityworks graduate scheme.

And...The London fire brigade is hiring. Problem? You need a full manual driving licence and to have passed the large good vehicle theory test. Damn. Ahwel I'll work on getting those done should they ever hire again. Literally this is the first time in like 3-4 years they've straight-up taken applications for trainee firefighters rather than just hiring from other counties. Damn Damn Damn.

Ahwel. Motivation to pass my driving test so that I can jump into firefighting should that door ever open up again.

It'd likely be on philosophy and politics with a humorous twist. I mean, you have to understand that at the moment it isn't a priority. Surely I don't have to do a podcast in order to get myself a job that will earn me enough to move out of my house.

Surely I can get that job on a career path I'm interested in and do the podcast alongside it to hopefully boost my climbing up from that? The Charityworks grad scheme would be ideal.

If you want to be a firefighter, I'd say: go for it. Apply now! Say you don't have a driver's license nor a license for a large goods vehicle, but that you are working on it.

This accomplishes some benefits: first, maybe they'll invite you anyhow and offer you to get both licenses while a trainee. Second, if they don't invite you because of this, they'll already 'know' you and that you're eager, when you apply to a position in the future.

Agree. Apply anyway. Nothing bad can happen and there's a chance (even if very slim) of something good happening.

https://jobs.london-fire.gov.uk/your...hewaywerecruit

I honestly don't think there's much point guys. This isn't the 1960s where I show up and make myself known, its an online application process designed to filter people out and select them against a rigid criteria.

I mean, I admire your encouragement and spirit but I think that I'd just end up making myself look pretty stupid and just wind up annoying people if anything.

Actually, thinking about it I highly doubt it'll get to that stage, I'm 99% sure that in the online form there'll be a checkbox for "I can confirm that I hold a clean UK driving licence" that you have to check in order to proceed. As such I'd have to outright lie to them.

Still, it is nice to see them hiring. Shame as I had more-or-less given up. Its literally been what, at least 4 years I think?

Rasta,


Why do you think you should be able to get a job with a career path you're interested in based on what you described as very unremarkable qualifications in a very competitive job market?

Its a fair point, but I am a graduate with a 2:1 from a Russell group university nonetheless. My qualifications are unspectacular but they are above average.

I'm not asking for an awful lot here, just the chance to get in at the bottom of the ladder as long as there is a ladder there. Besides, the Charityworks thing pays between £16-18k and is only a year's contract. The idea is that it gives you a route into the charity sector.

There are loads of people with an equally ordinary background who've managed to get jobs that at least afford them a place to live.

Rasta,

I don't get it. Earlier you describe your qualifications and how they make it near hopeless to get a suitable job.

Now you say lots of people just like you are able to get suitable jobs.

What is the difference between them and you?