Hear me out.

Over the past few weeks I've been putting in some real work away from the tables. Stoving ranges, tweaking frequencies, blah blah. It's paid off; I've grinded through the levels to 25NL, and consider myself something of a "high stakes micros" boss. But poker is all about edges, and while mine is enormous versus my current opposition, I know the villains will be a bit more wily as I move through the ranks. I'm starting to search for and consider thin edges through unorthodox and/or ambiguous means.

While doing my GTO homework I isolated myself into a being hermit. I'd just put in my time in the (set)mines, review, sleep, and repeat. Occasionally I'd eat, occasionally I'd take a walk, but never did I fornicate. It was a bleak cycle of existence, and I was starting to get a bit burnt out. Then something happened: my W$WSF and non-showdown increased dramatically; I don't have any stats, but I say this with ~98.6% certainty.

At first I didn't consider the significance; I know how sample sizes work. But as I got to 5k hands, then 10k hands, without it dropping, I realized I'd stumbled onto something potentially huge.

I started using my prodigious skill in pattern recognition to discover a correlation. I poured over the history of the nosebleeds; from the "Godfather of LAG" Gustaf Hanson, to the Ship It Holler Ballers, to duuurrr and beyond. I noticed a glaring trend, and found my breakthrough: these guys all crushed their way up when they weren't getting laid. I mean eventually they got hookers/groupies, ldo, but by then they had internalized a lucratively optimal incel approach to the game.

It's so simple; the most primal, intrinsic urge of the human species. It's the root of virtually all fiscal motivation; why would poker be any different? Winning poker is aggressive poker. A celibate man is an aggressive man. Ipso facto, a celibate man is winning poker.

Relatable equivalence: Guy 1 is "oversexed, blasé, 'no big deal.'" Guy 2 is "2am in the club lot, looking for a fight or a chubby 5." Replace "club lot" with "lobby" and "fight" with "squeeze." Which would you rather have at your table?

It's nothing new; boxers have abstained before their hand-to-hand fights for decades. Poker is a mind-to-mind fight; why would we not treat it with the same respect and severity?

I've started experimenting with a "rewards system" of sorts. My target is 8bb/100; if I'm there at the end of a session, I treat myself (literally). If I'm there at the end of the week, I treat myself to a full lay. If I bink a tourney I will treat myself to a belle of the night <=15% of the score. Breakeven is hand and mouth stuff. I've never wanted to grind more in my life.

I haven't yet corroborated the inverse of this theorem, but I'm fairly certain there's a link between this:


and this:


Reporting live from the tip of an iceberg.

I apologize to mods if this should be in the theory section.

brb getting laid then i will read this

You can't get laid so you make up this imaginary scenario in your head where getting laid = being bad at poker to justify not getting laid.

What's going to happen when you aren't getting laid and you are losing money?

Did you gratify yourself? Or is it boxer style where you never unload while training?

God is a level.

NVG is a harsh proving ground for theorems. I want to like you due to the effort put into the OP. Unfortunately, I think the post-sex zen state defeats the rage-focus of non-release when applied to non-physical pursuits such as poker.

I will follow your celebacy trend. Are we allowed to masterbate?

My wife and I have a very healthy sexual relationship, we have sex atleast 4 times a week except when she is on her monthly obviously. I crush poker and i like to think the sex helps. Sex during upswings is amazing. Sex during downswings well, it helps relieve stress and instead of punching a face, you punch below the waist

pics of wife or it didn't happen

Right now I am practicing celibacy. But it was a mutual decision. Between me and every female on the planet.