"As humans, we seek something to calm our unease. Our happiness is always found in some far off goal or future. Whenever we find this thing,
we are happy, but then the happiness fades and we are unhappy again. So we are stuck in a cycle of searching and being continually disappointed

If we pause for a moment to reflect, we become despondent. How can we ever find motivation to do anything? Our motivation was centered around
some idea of permanent, perceptible increases to our well-being and yet no such thing exists. Why pursue anything? And yet, the rub lies therein.
We cannot accept life for what it is - Temporary. Frustrated, we shake our hands and grip the world and DEMAND It to acquire the infinite.
But life is not infinite. If we accept life for what it is - Temporary, finite, ephemeral - We can enjoy each moment for what it is, not what
we desire it to be." - Anon





"I am not a philosopher. The philosopher thinks about things. It is a mind approach. My approach is a no-mind approach. It is just the very
opposite of philosophizing.It is not thinking about things, ideas, but seeing with a clarity which comes when you put your mind aside,
when you see through silence, not through logic.
Seeing is not thinking.


The sun rises there; if you think about it you miss it, because while you are thinking about it, you are going away from it. In thinking you
can move miles away; and thoughts go faster than anything possible.
If you are seeing the sunrise then one thing has to be certain, that you are not thinking about it. Only then can you see it.
Thinking becomes a veil on the eyes. It gives its own color, its own idea to the reality. It does not allow reality to reach you, it imposes
itself upon reality; it is a deviation from reality.
Hence no philosopher has ever been able to know the truth." -- Osho

Not a bad 8,000th post.

You all getting deep in this thread

Thread delivers

$600 in almost right away but ran into some goodness recently. Hopefully it holds up.

gogogo!

Thanks Morph!

Held. Now about to crush an Arizona Charlie's steak & egg special plus an omelette add on.

I was hoping for some memeing on this. Thanks Morph!

What's up, Slater? If that was your 8k post, then I'm incredibly honored! It's fantastic. In any case, it's good to hear from you again. You got in early on the Nit-tastic Tales thread, and I appreciate you.

The first quote is very much the story of Hamlet, but in terms of executing justice rather than finding happiness. We know Hamlet as that smart young Dane who was too smart for his own good. It's obvious from the start of the play that Hamlet's father's been murdered, and that the murderer has stolen his birthright, and that the guy is also ****ing his mother on top of everything (figuratively and literally), yet he's paralyzed by the meta abstraction of watching himself trying to suss out a way to seek revenge. That character in that play secures Shakespeare's genius in my books.

There's actually a proto-Hamlet in the play 'As You Like It' named Melancholy Jaques. He's the one that says the 'All the World's a Stage' soliloquy from the Rush song. Beyond that, though, Jaques just isn't as smart as Hamlet, and all he does is sit around and uselessly contemplate **** while the other vibrant characters all make fun of him.

I mention him because my Merge poker screenname is melancholyJJ, and nobody's ever gotten the reference, a fact that would have sardonically pleased Jaques, I'm sure.

The second quote brings up some of the differences between real life and games. One of my most devastating early leaks out here has been 'just looking at/seeing' the turn and river, and not thinking in real time about these spots.

Osho's right that seeing is not thinking. When I've just stared at the board there, then acted, I've almost always been dead wrong, and it's been for a ton of money/EV. It's been a key to some of my early struggles. Seriously now, for the last couple of weeks, I've had to repeat the mantra, "Don't let your mind go blank on the turn. Keep thinking."

It makes me wonder, if someone with more of a natural talent for the game just stares at the board, then goes with his/her instincts, will they be right most of the time?

Anyways, I have more thoughts on the nature of reality vs games, and why we play games and take them so seriously, but this post is way too long already. It's likely that I'll return to the concept at some point.

Friday: Orleans: 6 hours:
+$665

Three Stacks $600-$60,000 Challenge:$1/$3 Level:

Link to Challenge Rules

Starting bankroll: $600
Last bankroll: $715
Challenge day progress:+$665
Current bankroll: $1380
Bankroll needed for $2/$5: $1875

Great week SJ!

perhaps from your perspective, but these longer, self-reflecting posts, are why I keep following.

one man in his time plays many parts

btw; this production of, As You Like It, was pretty damn sexy;
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077180/?ref_=ttmi_tt

I envy SJ love for the game and grind and desire to make it happen live

Thanks mendicant loafer! You were in on the old thread as well. I appreciate you! I tend to think in paragraphs, so there will be more long posts.

And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part.



70's Pornstaches for Movember.

This^ baller is getting married soon in front of the Bellagio fountains. Nuff said.

Thanks robert!

Bally's: 5 hours:
+$352

Solid week SJ!

Thanks fid!

The rungood ran out last night, but I'm happy with the overall month thus far.

Flamingo: 5.5 hours:
($-400)

jinxed!

I had rain fall on me last night for the first time since I moved here in July. After a while out here--hundreds of miles smack in the middle of a howling desert--you forget about the rain, forget that the rain is a normal process in most places where you'll find a large city, forget that it's no big deal here to go 90-120 days without it

Given its isolated desert location, Las Vegas would become a near instant ghost city without gambling. The local product here is $100 bills. It's the cash crop.

This Las Vegas as ghost city idea has struck writers over the years, and we've seen the Ruined City pop up and be inhabited or re-inhabited in various forms: in Stephen King's The Stand, in the new Blade Runner movie, and in the Fallout video game franchise.

I took a crack at it in one of my old stories, which was subsequently stored on a laptop and destroyed when I ran said laptop under a sink faucet during a blackout. In the story, the Fundies had taken over the government and imposed a sort of Christian Sharia law everywhere, including the outlawing of gambling. Nevada had attempted to secede, and Las Vegas was left a broken war zone, occupied only by trapped and dying secessionists.

The government hadn't yet bothered to move in and squash them, afraid that it might spark a firestorm of sympathetic trouble across the rest of the country. They relied, instead, on surrounding the valley on four sides and on cutting off the water and power from Lake Mead. That was Act I, pretty much as far as I got before the story was destroyed by a drunken rain of sink water.

There is nothing like the smell of the desert after a rain. Everyone should experience it at least once in their life. It's a kind of a piercing semi-astringent primordial mud smell. It's life waking up and invading your space through your nose. Life saying

Hurryuphurryuphurryuphurryup. Hurry up and grow, germinate, multiply, before all this once again turns to dust and slag.

Years ago, during my first residency here, I remember getting two or three days of rainy-ness in a row once or twice. In addition to the flooding--a trailer park by a gully was taken out in one flood--we saw hyper fast weeds growing up out of people's front yards, shooting up 3 or 4 feet in a matter of days. Dean, my old meth dealer, told me that everyone was obligated to cut down their weeds within a certain time frame, or city code enforcers would come around and fine them hundreds of dollars.

I don't know if that's true or not, Dean was not the most reliable of sources, but neither was he terribly unreliable, for a meth dealer. RIP Dean. I don't miss your product, but I do miss you, buddy.

epic blog is epic

MOAR!!!!

sj, you have to survive at least another month. my degen brother and i are spending thanksgiving weekend in vegas. goal 1, play an evening of drunken, silly, low-limit poker w you, shoving every Q3o. INVINCIBLE!!!!

Thanks brother! If it weren't for you guys I'd just be mumbling bits of it in a corner somewhere by myself.

I'm not going anywhere. I pushed all of my life chips across the line back in July, and the flop is still barely unfolding.

Looking forward to meeting you guys! Don't oversell me to anyone, though. I'm just a boring middle aged guy who knows how to write things down.

Today I 4-bet JTs for $115 vs an aggro reg and got a fold. That's about as wild as I get

Still More Topping Up:

As you might remember, I don't top up my stack on challenge days as part of an experiment to see how well my tournament experience might serve me when playing off a shorter average stack. So far, I have no data whatsoever to work with, as I have not yet found myself with a shortie on a challenge day. Thus far, I've either doubled up early and have kept a big stack for the rest of the session, or I've been completely felted during a single hand, and have had to rebuy with the next 100bb stack.

On non-challenge days I keep topped up to the max buyin of 150-250bb, usually in units of $100 each. This has served me quite well, and I'm becoming very fond of it.

I've already talked about creating the perception amongst the other regs that I'm winning all the time by never having a short stack in front of me, but here's an example of a more concrete and practical way in which it has helped.

Flamingo--max buyin $300:

Hand 1:

I pick up KK in MP and open for $10 with $280 behind. I get a call from a Live One on the BTN and a call from a meh reg in the BB. The Live One has $160 behind and the meh reg has about $100.

(Pot $31) Three players.

Flop 742

The meh reg donks $20, I call, and the Live One shoves for his remaining $150. The meh reg folds.

(Pot $221) Two players. One player is all-in.

I think for about 7 seconds, then I call.

(Pot $371) Two players. One player is all-in.

The Live One shows QQ.

Turn Q

River brick. Nice hand, sir.

A very standard beat, and I was happy with the way I played it. I made an awful lot of Sklansky bucks on it, out there in the infinite universes.

I'm left with $120 in my stack. I pull out a hundo, then change my mind at the last second and pull out $180 instead. It's a full top up to $300.

Hand 1.5:

Next hand I pick up JT in MP and open for $10. Folds to an Aggro Reg in the BB who 3-bets to $30. I make a loose call. Tilted? Maaayyyybe a little.

Flop is a brick sandwich for me--aside from a gutshot, which we don't chase in 3-bet pots when villain likely has blockers--and it smacks villain's range. I fold to his c-bet.

Hand 2:

Two hands later, UTG opens for $10. I pick up KK as UTG+1 and I 3-bet to $30 with $270 behind. Aggro Reg is now on the button. He calls. His stack covers mine. UTG folds.

(Pot $62) Two players.

Flop Q8T

I bet $45 and Aggro Reg calls.

(Pot $152) Two players.

Turn 5

A thought occurs: What would I do here if I had AK?

I check.

Aggro Reg puts me all in for my remaining $195, and I snap call.

(Pot $542) Two players. One is all in.

River A

I show my KK and villain mucks without showing. Phew.

Here's the point: after the rake and tip, I'm now sitting on $533, within easy shouting distance of being even after taking a bad beat a few hands before.

Instead, if I'd only topped up a hundo, I'd have just $370.

If i hadn't topped up at all, I'd have $170, or worse--Aggro Reg might have chosen to stay out of the hand after I'd put in a third of my meager stack on the 3-bet pre, and I'd be sitting on $100.

Those are some big delta dollars to ponder.

moar, please.

I'm constantly jealous of my multiverse twins who run @~EV or greater pretty often too.

Yeah, those me’s get all the fkn luck. Bastards!

Thanks lapka! Enjoying your blog. I envy your ability to play PLO without tilting. Keep fighting the good fight and posting about it.

I'm going to need more time to get my thoughts together on the nature of games vs reality. I'll have to do some reading on it, I think. I'll get there eventually.