I really wanted jmakin to look like the dude from house. I think Ive seen a picture of jmakin before in his blog or the lc and he had lighter hair or the room was dark. Was fun railing for howard.
Looks like were doing mothers in blogs today. Since I chose to spend more time in this asylum might as well go deep. This is suppose to be about mental illness not me missing hotties in LA.
The gist of my relationship with my mother is I get free rent in the bay area and shes a divorced immigrant who doesn't want to live alone in the hood. Our actual relationship is broken beyond repair. I dont even engage her anymore. She always tries and I just ignore her. Its really easy to ignore her because I basically have a 1 bedroom apartment with bathroom, walk in closet with a fridge and a balcony and shes gone 16 hours a day.
This is how crazy it is. If she even senses Im going to leave. Sees me shave. Start eating right. She throws a fit and starts crying and tells me how she doesnt have anyone.
At the same time she told me I was an accident. Of the countless crazy things shes said to me that one hurt the most. This is why I ignore her its just too broken. I dont engage at all anymore. Its so bad that she fakes injuries and just starts talking at me for attention. I know I need to get the **** out of here but look how I did in 5 days.
I know this relationship ****s me up with women in weird ways. Most likely trust issues. The worst thing I ever did to a woman. I ghosted a girl once when I was 20. She doesnt know this but the reason I ghosted her is because I started having feelings for her. Im sure a therapist would have a field day with that.
I am preparing to buy that keyboard and pc tower. I have hesitation. I think about moving anywhere else. Maybe montana for a few months. I am keenly aware this time around staying in this house is shackling myself to crazy. Everyone got mad at Quincy for that interview but what I got from it was he was smart enough to get away from his crazy mother early.