Whenever you are ready to have a conversation I'll be here until the 26th. Im not mad, I dont want to scould you. I just want to understand. I am not flying to LA anymore. If you dont know where I live, these people here can help you. Just email or pm me a ballpark time of when you think you might want to show up so we can both mentally prepare for the meeting. See how I extend you that courtesy. If you need to bring a friend for support the limit is 1.
This is just a conversation. We owe it to ourselves to understand what happened. Thats the best I can swing because Im still processing that you were trying to break me for your amusement.
Im in a different class. Im not operational anymore. I really convinced myself I had a 10 waiting for me and didnt want to have any baggage so I could be a person she deserves.
Marathon has begun. On the right is what I watched last night and today. The left is the dollar section at Rasputins from today. The promotional stuff is from LA this last month. I heard the night manager and the big sick are really good so I'm pretty stoked. ANnihilation is ****ing good. Tambourine even better.
Im pretty sure they are tracking me through the satellite radio in a 2001 Honda. I forgot it even had XM. They know where I am even when I leave my phone and drive like a mad man.
They have to use cessnas i think because the political fallout of using a predator drone to track an american over american soil is a little much right now. Yall will never know what I was doing over there now. I was beginning to feel like chump change that they would only authorize a cessna in the afternoons. I wanted to make sure yall were on standby. Sorry to get you up so early.
I fully appreciate everyone looking out for her best interests. Did any of you at any time worry about whats good for me? Probably not. I think some of you have the delusion that one day were gonna sit in a studio together. That **** is over. Im completely over the entertainment business. The only attachment I have left was that girl. The longer this goes on the more convinced I become Im dodging a bullet.
I cant do anything because of how hard Im being watched. However I think I might become like a baker in Marin county or something. Bakers seem like really nice people and I like the hours they keep. Im done helping people, it brought me nothing but stress.
That you cant see that its important to me that you come here means you can just can go ahead and start looking for someone else. Its getting to the point where I wont be able to smile when I see you. What are we even doing then? I knew you wouldnt come, you would find an excuse or dismiss it as unimportant. Well it was. the 26th is your last chance if this was ever real. Don't pretend you cant find out where I live.
And if its fake. How many points do you really get for tricking a schizophrenic guy who refuses to go confirm things that are easily confirmable? Not many. Making a fool out of myself at the chance at something real is something I will do all day.
This is like thinking youre cool for recording peoples phones calls. It actually just makes you look bad because no one can trust you anymore. Thats why people dont want to **** with you.
This blog has to end but I can be more mature about it. Ive decided this isnt good for my mental health anymore. People are playing a game with me because Im leaving myself open because I wanted something and they know what it is.
This should hopefully be enough to inspire someone who the world designates as mentally ill. The way the world treats people they call mentally ill is just terrible. Just make sure you are comfortable with whatever treatment you put yourself through. I wouldnt trust most shrinks. Everyone is just parroting **** to the point everyone thinks they know whats best for everyone. Most people need to shut the **** up.
Im going to use today to finalize this blog up in a nice neat package for reading and Im done with blogging.