Yoda,

Cool, but we haven't met yet

Cliffs of Previous 12 Months:
Vegas Virgin
Cult & Brain Washing
Broke as a Joke on Coke
Home & River Degeneracy
Psychotic Break/Life Evaluation
Grew Feelings and Started Living


Goals
Treat this blog as an interactive AMA type Lounge Well
Share and discuss personal insights for managing a balanced life
Be serious without being serious, appreciate the little things and enjoy meeting new people


Archives:
Poker
Other Topics
Introspection
Existentialism
Personal History
Random Thoughts
Your Contributions
Other Other Topics

Random Thoughts:

Today I did some severely under-preped Black Friday shopping. Went from the airport to a nearby shopping complex for some clothes and late lunch. My best showing of the afternoon was avoiding the turning ques into the complex parking lots by driving around the horseshoe and founding an easy spot through the proverbial backdoor; tragically avoiding the good samaritans who kindly resolve that pesky issue of who gets a parking space first. Nobody enjoys wasting time in a Mexican standoff.

Back to the shopping. I had as many wins as the Sixers. Went into a Marshalls, Sports Authority, Ross, DSW, Best Buy and quick U-Turn through some maternity specialty store that didn't have obvious enough advertising .

Now I'm a pretty quick shopper. If I am not drawn to something immediately I don't spend my time eye ****ing and shooting second glances trying to talk myself into a bad decision. I'm also pretty out of touch with pricing. Most of the things I do like, I don't want to spend the $ on. Like $90 for a nice blue shaded zip-up seems like I'm just paying taxes on the brand name for something that's not all that great. Then the jackets that I think are cool or are really utilitarian are in the $180+ range where I feel like I should make more of a decision on the investment. I'm not cheap, more of a frugal mentality and I don't really create a desire for my own personal property.

Anyways it was the same story with gloves, hats and boxers n'stuff. Definitely could have done some research beforehand and came in looking for specific deals. Unfortunately the only Black Friday related information that I was aware of was that Pornhub suffered a significant hit to traffic on the release date of Fallout 4. While it was unknown how I acquired this intelligence, I went into Best Buy to check on making a purchase. Ultimately decided I wouldn't play much or be good enough to satisfy my competitive self. Better stick to Pong and Minesweeper for innocent pastime fun.

Oh yeah I really need help on my shoe game. I can hide my lack of wardrobe behind a sporty attire and good looks, but no matter how handsome my face may be girls will look down and see asics or some multipurpose outdoor shoe.

I can wear some type of Vans with my hoodies, pullovers and skinny jeans. I'd like to get some grey Chucks with red outline if that designs exists. I've got $95 around the house not in my stratosphere of fashion faux furred high top booties that were last years X-mas present and $20 H&M black dress shoes.

A man's integrity is built from the ground up. Don't let mine crumble before you see my faded blue Levis and svelt 30" waist. Actually if any shoe savants would lend me their expertise on sock savagery I'd appreciate that too.



I took a nice dab earlier and this is my first time getting high off non edibles in a few weeks. I could go on and on in friendly competition with CaliforniaDreaming for who will post the most in their own thread before someone else gives a ****, but after my shopping dysfunction of earlier I know how important it is go get a win every now and then. So I'm going to roll up some greens while watching the Leftovers S1.

I salute the effort. Cheers to you CaliforniaDreaming

Dreams

Last night I lost both top incisor teeth, all four of my back molars and the all the rest felt loose. Imagine that feeling of popping dentures on and off your gums or that sensation of being ready to disengage when you’re giving a baby tooth some last wiggles before it falls out. Dreams are a fun reality check!

Often I have reoccurring ones where my teeth feel loose or i lose bits and pieces or they fall out completely. I have sensational reactions too, I can taste the blood, feel the pain and fear from the helpless distress of losing them and not knowing why or how to stop it. I’m often embarrassed and try to hide and avoid opening my mouth full of carnage. Also when I do spit them out they’re often very sharp and jagged, full of cavities or a dark plaque the color like those simulated lungs that have been smoking for x # of years.

Yes, its not a very pleasant dream experience lol. An odd one for sure. I’ve looked it up and talked with other people who’ve had similar dreams; common themes seem to be a stage of transition in life or feelings of personal growth.

Does anyone here keep a dream journal or have an extensive knowledge of dream theory? I find that stuff fascinating whenever I think about it.

This past week I was in lockdown poker mode. Focused in on putting myself in a position to succeed. I made sure to eat before and after sessions; drank lots of herbal teas for relaxation; played without having skype open, same deal for internet browsing and ipad streaming. These are basic tasks that should already be foundational ground rules. Living a more balanced and physically healthier lifestyle are the ultimate goals before I can start focusing on the bigger picture.

Quick backstory: I recently was completely broke. My bank accounts were in the red and I was seen roaming the Best Buy parking lots trying to pawn off a $400 gift card. Eventually I sold it off Craigslist for about $350 . Getting broke was a more intimate affair that I’ll delve into at a later time. On the way down however I had about $500 online and ran it up to $2k in a weekend; peaked at about $2700 then went on a 9 day losing streak highlighted by me yelling so loudly my neighbors kids rang the doorbell to ask if everything was ok.

Thus ensued a hiatus from my tumultuous love that is poker. Upon recommencing I again started with $500 and armed with Rousey Rules I went on a 30 buyin upswing playing strictly 50nl.

Come Thanksgiving my plans were to make my first homemade two crust pie and shot take higher stakes vs our merry, drunken, friends. Well, the pie took about 3 hours of prep work and one oven fire (started by melting crust), otherwise it turned out well. I actually never had a piece and am relying on the honesty of others lol, Momma took a few slices in her carry on, also gave some to my drug dealer and froze the rest for a later date. Blackberry Pie.

As for the poker, it was disastrous. I don’t know if I was already burnt out or forcing myself to play, but suffice to say I was pushing the issue way too far and subsequently went on moderate tilt from frustration and lack of impulse control. Lost half of my profits.

Friday I played again and could tell something was still off. Didn’t have the patience or self control to properly analyze and execute. Thought I’d try to kick off my blog idea that had been bouncing around but found that I didn’t have much to say or the wherewithal to buckle down and focus my energy.

So I decided I wanted to get high. While I refrained from sinking a substantial % of my net worth into product, I still made a questionable decision.

I love to get high. A fiend at heart I know no moderation.

There is clarity in sobriety, a sense of having a higher purpose and a different feeling of what life is altogether. Now the but, something I’ve been chasing for a very long time. There is a power to taking the easy road, emotions are less inhibited and I’m addicted to the freedom of the experience. Which is ironic because it’s not real freedom; I’m governed by maintaining that fix and eventually slowly morph into a self absorbed, less dynamic person. I’ll stop here because it’s easy to get bogged down in describing the minutia of an emotional state.

Here’s an example of the process that I’m addicted to. You see a girl. It’s not the physical beauty that draws your attention but the smile on her face. There’s such a radiant expression of joy, a sparkle of life behind the eyes that emanates from experiencing a pure uninhibited moment of self expression. That’s beauty personified in simple form.

Now comes my reaction; sometimes I feel like I invaded a person’s privacy, sometimes I become so attracted in that moment I can’t take it and will emotionally shut down, usually in the face ubiquitous happiness I start experiencing feelings of sadness for those who aren’t having a moment like this. When I’m high my emotions are so raw and visceral, generally resulting in immature behavior.

I wrote this with an eye on saying that truth and perception are just concepts. In terms of being at peace and fully understanding something: it’s easier when we let go of expectations and forego the need to define the experience. When we understand that there is no right or wrong way to accept something, we are free to experience our natural reaction. The more you know, the more you don’t know; accept this and you’ll find that in effect you gain a higher emotional understanding and things will bother you less.

I recognize that I’m going through an emotional funk. Often I think that the more I try to define who I am, the more out of sync I become with who I really am and am prone to fall into a melancholy attitude.

I don’t know if I’m burnt out from poker. I don’t know if getting high can ever be a safe thing to do. I do understand that I often deny the things that I want most. There is no excuse or higher purpose to this moment. Tonight I’m going to get high because I’ve been craving it all day. I will be cognizant in trying to not let this affect my poker, but sometimes we just need to keep repeating an experience until we learn the lessons that we need to learn.

Peas everyone and have a fun weekend!

Holy balls of text! I forgot I was going to try to avoid doing that. Those would be for the archives and this space is for quick thoughts. Less clutter. Also I need to be able to edit ****. If I miss a point it's tilting if I can't rewrite it. And I'm gonna miss a ton too, already have lol.

I think king crab is my favorite meal. Death row I'm going that or kim bop, depending on why I'm incarcerated.

I love Martinellis don't buy the other bottled ciders. One time in the am on the 4th I was standing in a gazebo, casino security stopped me to investigate my open container. He declined to share a sip but was excited for the 4th nonetheless.

Next time I want to be left alone I'll just start blogging

I see CaliforniaDreaming has dropped out of the competition. Glad I didn't have to go in there and sabotage the good effort. Cheers homie and keep the grind alive, this kid here's got heart too.

I've decided that I believe in abstinence by moderation.

if it's any consolation i've spent moar than a couple hours studying/reading articles like this, this & this about the tacoma narrows bridge tragedy.

my family's had a couple of cocker spaniels and they were incredibly loyal, wonderful, harmless little doggies.

Consolation for what?

Cocker Spaniels are awesome. I've wanted to get another dog for a while, those would be a breed I'd consider if I had kids. As a single guy I'd rather have less grooming more of an outdoorsy instinctual Husky/Labrador type.

Dogs are great companions, I had a Shiba that looked like this one that I loved a lot. But if it comes down to an intense life or death situation, leave heroism for hollywood and take care of yourself and other people first. Although I'm pretty sure I'd include my dog in all escape plans.

RIP Tubby

RE: my emotional addiction to getting high;

My example was not too relatable and I'm getting self conscious about how lame it might be reading about smiles lol. Main reason of wanting to blog is so that I can become more articulate when I try to express my thoughts.

Experiencing a high: naturally, I am more open to experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions at any moment. Sometimes I can have a thought that is so powerful and unexpected that it overwhelms all normal emotional control. In that split second it takes for the mind to process an idea into an emotional response a giant shift happens in my perception of reality; in effect my internal experience has such a profound impact that I have a hard time re-adjusting to environment around me.

This can have both positive and negative affects. Regardless, I'm addicted to the rush. That feeling like you're experiencing something for the first time; how an idea can feel life changing; implications are exhilarating; memories, dreams and potential are unbounded and limitless.

I'm still missing making a concise point. Further exposition will be written later. Click the header or here

If the Patriots had gone undefeated they undoubtedly would have met a sub .500 Giants team in the Superbowl

Thank Jesus that God favors good looking quarterbacks. This one is on the Broncos, however. The Chiefs once had Elvis Grbac

Rational Sports Hyperbole

So i'm gonna change the direction of this blog. way too ambitious. Also gonna turn the filter up (or down?) on the melodrama. I'm not digging my own thoughts; definitely not a speak unprepared to the room type thinker. more of a one on one where i like to know who i'm talking to




Get up and go get some crab legs for lunch tomorrow and marinade some steak for stirfry dinner. Invite a creative genius over and hope to get some insights. After feeding his ego we're gonna ask him for help in moving furniture downstairs . Oh i'll give him the other half of my pie for the extra help; make sure his wife doesn't get suspicious.

Alright so the original purpose of me blogging was to meet people I otherwise wouldn't; generally i'm friendly and am open to sharing and discussing pretty much anything, ideally netting some good life perspective in the process.

I lurk 2p2. Mostly I don't share my opinions because it takes a lot of energy for me to sift through a thread. Lots of posters have their niche style, know each other or maybe they're less maintenance than me, not sure; but I def am not interested in wading through the bustle just to share my opinion. Traits of an introvert i guess.

That said, I wouldn't really read this blog either. Don't find it interesting or engaging. I can be witty, am thoughtful and generally have an interesting perspective to offer. So far, though, I've been rambling like a POW back in the world, except I've done nothing to gain respect or have people listen to me.

Knew it could be a challenge coming in. Put some thought into what I didn't want to be, but not much into how to stir traffic and get this off the ground. Not that I have an idea of what 'this' should be; my whole attitude is based off a mod telling someone "oot is not your blog". Well I want attention and everyone to love me damnit

So help me get my blog started:

Ask me a question about me, a current event, if you have an opinion share it; Anything! Then follow it up with why youre asking so I don't ramble like said POW

how would you solve this whole ISIS situation? (from the perspective of being like, if you were the president of america or europe)

i'm asking because i want to help you achieve your goal of creating popular blog content

I'm not sure what I would do. Partly because I'm far from informed but mainly because when I see ISIS all I can think about is those infomercials and a brunette saying, "ISIS is nicest." Once again woman's undergarments render me ineffective.

First, recognizing that I'm coming from somewhere extremely privileged and cannot hope to understand the forces that shaped their ideals, I would try to educate myself on the plight of ISIS. Unfortunately we live in a world where sensibility isn't enough to replace hard action.

If I were some dictator and was told that there's a group of people being complete *******s in the name of religion, but in reality were just violent *******s, my first reaction would be swift force against their leaders and anyone else who is willing to die; followed by voluntary reeducation courses.

Passion is good, its a beautiful thing to bond together and work towards something we think is important, but common, lets be realistic on the values behind the 'how' and 'why' of what we're trying to achieve.

In that same light if I was told this ISIS group were targeting and harassing another group of people comprised of the most entitled people on the planet: I might look a little closer and see that sensibility dictates I should also smack them with the backhand just to get their attention before I give a stern word of encouragement, 'I don't want to be doing this but its for your own good.' Followed by taking away a few privileges.

Its difficult to use the concepts that we live by in our personal lives and then try to also apply this same type of thinking to how the world actually works. Its unfair but we're living in a world governed by economic power; individuals are often unhappy and others are often ignorant with where they fall within this spectrum.

If this is unsuitable and still boring blog work I am not above simple flattery and solicitation for more ideas

ScreaminAsian, I am a fan of your work.

I'm a fan of Marie's too. I'm tempted to throw things out and say, "the first and only time ever chatting in a chat room I made the cam model cry". I feel like the story is always less interesting than it purports to be. And you know, it a little odd saying things to an empty room just to say them.

yeah seems like they're all emotionally right on the brink of completely losing their ****. idk maybe i'm just projecting

ScreaminAsain,

Would you feel honored or violated if i stole a train of asians pics from your blog thread. Im going to make an OP for PG&C and would like it to be of quality.

RE: losing your ****,

I think most of them are likely confident in their convictions and crazy in a far different way from you and I or most 2p2ers. Don't feel bad tho, I've lost my **** completely and look how well i've turned out

great honor

hey what would you do if you were running against Trump for the president right now? (like from the position of a campaign manager for one of the other candidates)

SA to the rescue.

I have a question also. Why do you think the Asians screamin?

No way would i ever get close to politics. Give me the key to the city with no parade.


Dont really do top 5'vs; most memorable however:

ninja girl: i dont enjoy brining people down but ladies, please do not get plastic surgery on your face when youre 22 and gorgeous. im sure shes got a complex now

adrey: a whole new fetish was conceived

beabea: best bussom

little_alice: i dont get the big deal there, always most popular

something_marie: cool stoner chick





Passwords,

Because an oriental screamin would be racist

hey what do you think pope francis should be doing right now? like what would you do next if you were pope of the catholics?

first rule of order: get control of ALL the christians. its lunacy to expect me to remember which ones the pope leads and which ones are going to hell.

other than that and maybe advising birth control, the pope seems like a pretty cool fellow

psh tell that to 16th century europe