I want to get out of the rat race, how the hell do I do that?

You have to store up enough $$$ to support a free-lance lifestyle, lots of guns and ammo, 5 yrs of non-perishable food supply, and a bunker in the Highlands.

So yea...a lot of years of rat race work. Or get lucky and bink a tourney.

... or boycott the race

The rat race is over, the rats won.

Don't knock water mate, for the most part I'm happy but my first nice cold glass of water is often a highlight of the day

You need money to boycott the race. Or you starve.

what if you try to make all the rats stop running?you dont need that much money for that

If you can figure that out, send me a PM.

Welcome back, OP, hope you are well.

I keep thinking about the comment you made. I understand you mean and I'm sure or a nice person but the more I think about the more it doesn't make sense to me.

To survive as a human for some unknow reason? Define better? You say we have a lifetime needed to achieve progress but what is the "progress" afterall you just said it was (as a human) to survive, to go on living with an unknow reason. So how is progress achieved if it is unknown?

To say it is just to survive is a rather depressing answer (for me anyway) because you are just dragging life out. The answer "YOU MUST SURVIVE" is a double bind

I pretty much agree with everything you said. Thanks for posting.

Who are these people who know about this kind of darkness?

The highlight of my day was reading a book then thinking about suicide.

hey there buddy,sorry for the late response but i was feeling a little bit home sick.
The unknown reason in my urguement was a reference in what was before the big bang,the first cosmic dust.The reason behind the creation of the world.
The unknown reason we must survive is connected with the Plato innate idea.

It is what people call god,faith,luck,karma etc but i refer to it always with regard to physics and mathematics and more in a philosophical way as to how that innate idea,which cant be aproached by the human senses but can be analyzed by the human mind,has any effect in our daily life.

In other words,we are a conscious or unconscious result of something that cant be identified scientifically yet.But,human beings as any other animal in this world have primitive insticts to survive.People though with the ultimate survival weapon,their mind,have achieved not only to survive but also conquer the world.We have created complicated societies and we try to achieve hapiness through interraction with each other.We FEEL the urge not only to survive but also create a flow of hapiness in our lifes.

And thats where the secret is,emotions,we are a bunch of ''lucky emotions'' in human bodies.According to the hindie philosophical theory the world was analyzed in a conbination of human senses and emotions.In my opinion,it seems like there is a connection between that first cosmic idea and the human emotions,but thats just my personal opinion based on how i conceive the world.

In other words,the point is to survive/live good with the hope to create a flow of hapiness,which is addictive,makes people think that they found a meaning in their lifes and even death cannot scare them.But,hapiness differs from person to person and is affected by what the society promotes for different economical interests.So,you always should check if you are mislead into what you want in your life.

In your posts,you have said that you feel like you are waking up from the matrix and that you are trying to understand what do you want from your life.
You say you are not smart enough to achieve something and thats the main reason behind you contemplating suicide.
All these are wrong,your attidude is wrong,your life philosophical theory is wrong.
You need to question what you have given as facts in your life.
Your awakening is a good thing but you should stop thinking about killing yourself,you have so much potential its a shame.
It is like you are waking up from a comma and because you dont understand/know where you are and what you gonna do,thinking about killing yourself.Try and see the big picture/plan which you are equally part of.
I see you like poetry,just think what is a poet's work?Analyzing and explaing the human behavior,emotions and the world not vanity and money.

About progress,there is technological and social progress which usually interplay.
Progress in my urguement is everything that helps into improving communication and interaction towards people.So,the success of a man belongs to everyone around him.
You cant be obligated to succeed,it must be an unconscious process with the purpose to make everyone around you happy.

I can't wait to ****ing die. I can't wait to ****ing die. I can't wait to ****ing die. I can't wait to ****ing die.

****ing kill me u bastards

There is no point in me living anymore. Good bye

I seen a psychologist on Friday and she clearly stated that there was nothing wrong with me because I can function normally. Having a job, good physical condition, sleeping well with signs of mild depression and she suggested seeing a careers adviser. I shown no signs of mental psychotic disorders, neither a danger to myself or others. My issues rotate around how I feel disconnected to society and stuck in a soul destroying job with no goals or ambitions in life.

In others words because I'm fit and able to keep working and paying taxes there is no need to help me out and have to be on the brink of suicide before they would act which of course would be to late by then.

Go see not a psychogist but a psychiatrist. If he tells you, taht you are ok show them this blog, if he still tells you that you are ok, go and see another one. You are a danger to yourself or about to become one.

If half of what is written here is not a level, then you are not ok.

It costs money to see a psychiatrist, money I don't have currently in my life. I'm reading a lot of self help books, working, gym and eating good, but I feel empty most of the time, nothing interests me, nothing stimulates me, I'm unable to get excited about life and I'm dragging it out.

No hobbies, no friends, and no money.

Good night.

My area for meditation

Is that a poker table on the right? Nice floors.

yeah that's a poker table on the right, well spotted.

I spent 10 minutes last night meditating. A helpful hint is that I treat each thought like a car passing by in traffic, I recognise it, accept it and drop it and go back to my breathing. I count to a slow and steady four to bring my mind back to here and now.

Finished reading Zen, A Way of Life by Christmas Humphreys, much of which I already knew while listening to Alan Watts but its good to read it as well. Good book.