One last thing and then I will go my merry way:

Tesla died penniless and dug holes in the ground during his middle aged years for Edison.

This is basically the GOAT analogy for how the world works -- perhaps the greatest engineer of all time, the world's number 1 holder of patents, died broke in his 80s, and toiled doing manual labor for a guy who got rich off a business based on science.

But it's fine because both are dead now and both lived how they wanted to, snuggled into their own relative world of happiness and pursuit.

Well you certainly hit the nail on the head. Thanks for posting.

It has left me thinking what is my relative world of happiness and pursuit?

Ever try reading Helena Blavatsky's "The Secret Doctrine". I been trying to read it for a few weeks now and I have no idea what the hell it is about. I spend most of my time searching for the meaning of words I don't understand.

I've decided to start going to gym to bulk and build muscle been going for the last tens days I see some change but not the change I want. If nothing else it will give me something to do after work.

Nice. Wb OP!

Technique/form is more important than anything. You could work out for an hour every other day but if your not doing it right then you won't see any gains.

I've been diagnosed with Asperger's and there is no cure for it. I don't know how bad it is or what improvements are needed in order to remedy the problem.

Have you ever tried learning the guitar I did, I don't like it all so I have a brand new guitar at home and all I want to do is smash it to bits just so I can my moneys worth. I have no idea why I attempted to learn it because I have no interest in learning. Just felt like I had to do something when I finished work other than sleeping or going to the gym.

Went to work today and got a lot of stuff done can't remember what half of it was ....boring stuff no doubt. I had 5 eggs this morning and then later I had kippers with veg.....what else....going to gym later then go to bed. not sure what to do.

i find going to bars boring.....actually had some crazy dreams recently. but whatever. yeah! im still alive, whoopedy-****ing-do

I'm just some weird ATM machine

I don't give a **** anymore

I have a savings of 650 pounds anyone want it

Bet it on black.

I'm going to be honest to myself, it's not that I don't like living its more of a combination of being scared and not knowing what to do. I don't know what the hell happened my childhood but I feel it has directly effected my outlook on life. I was bullied by a bunch of kids, beat up and called names a lot and when I told the teachers they didn't seem to take any action or ignored me. When I told my parents they told me to pray to God. I didn't do much when I was a kid no real hobbies, didn't speak much was polite, quiet and did what I was told.

I pretty much "did nothing" during school just listened and watched others. I never really felt part of it, it was something that I had to do and just wanted it over with. The hours spent as a kid praying to god, reading the bible with my parents, listening to preachers on cassette tapes...looking back what a waste of time.

I can't understand why I didn't get involved more in things as a kid, my dad teaches music and so does my mum, but I never cared for it.

I have built a wall between me and the world, thats how I feel about the whole thing. Its me against the whole world.

I found poker and won some money at it, found this site. Still believing in god I posted on the RGT section, quickly turned to atheist, then to nihilism. Because when I got rid of God, I got rid of myself and lost my identity. Now I see the world as the mechanical thing, I'm just a robot in search for food and I got to compete with others for these resources. Its a dog eat dog world, kill or be killed..heh? who the **** wants to leave in a world like that.

You see I have these life strategies I play the "stupid" card and I play the "sympathy" card. I can recognise emotions in others but not in myself. I don't lead with my emotions, I wait to see what you do first then I mirror you with whatever you are doing. Its simple actually people fall for it time and time again. Because they see me but really I'm act as their projection of what they want. But its not working anymore because I feel lost. I want to be my own being and not some reflection. Here is the problem though I'm not a nice person, I see the negative things first I laugh at others misfortunes. You see I laugh at myself because I don't care. But now I'm starting to care about what it is I'm going to do about life.

I have this dream where this cop is fighting this criminal they are tangled up and the cops gun drops to the ground. I'm standing there they are on the ground fighting it out, there is a briefcase full of money that the criminal stole, and I'm there watching this go on. Then I pick up the gun shoot them both and take the cash.

I want to have a dream in life, a goal. So I'm dreaming about having a dream. Not knowing that I already have the dream.

.

Had a great gym session today spent over 2 hours there. I don't see any results yet but hoping that will change. Eating really good and just did 20minutes meditation.

Didn't speak to anyone today. Playing chess online now. Going to read later then sleep.

Dude, you haven't replied to me once even though i've posted in your blog about five times. Maybe it's your nihilism, or aspergers, idk but perhaps if you weren't so anti social then you'd find more satisfaction in things.

I'm going to see a personal trainer on Friday. And yes you are correct.

To be interesting you got to be interested. Oh boy!!!

I read it. Only 19 pages. Don't get it but interesting.

So later today I'm going to the gym. Can't wait to get of this office. What else can I write about? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm****, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

don't know.

It's like esoteric Buddhism. That's all I get so far

Anyway I'm away to sleep. I ****ing love sleeping. Love u guys.

My cock Is so small. I'm a ashemed to call myself male. What ever got work tomorrow. I'll do anything to be female x

cock size is overrated,noone gives a ****

True. No one gives a ****. I find it extremely difficult to have a sexual connection with people because what do I bring to the bedroom? Not much.

Do you every have multiple girls say to you when you are having sex is it in yet?